WatchItMister

See mister? I have a paper.
There is everything here you need to know.
Crime, business, guys busted for blow.
Buy my paper.
It will turn you out.
It will fairly shout
with all the details,
with the evidence,
and I can fold my tent,
and go home.

Yeah, I got a home. I don't live on the street.
I'm out here to make a golden buck.
I get here early in the morning for the truck.
But look at this headline,
People got caught screwing.
These birds are actually sueing
a restaurant for a chipped tooth.
God, it's getting cold mister,
But I got a real sister
that'll warm you up.

Yeah, I'm serious. This news is blazing hot.
No, I ain't got no damn drugs.
That's for losers and thugs.
Say, look at these pictures. It's a murder.
It happened just down the road,
but the cops, they got a heavy load.
Hey, look at this strike.
The workers, they're going to fight,
the truckers are some up tight.
Say, do you want a paper? Or not?

Jeez, don't get mad, I'm only saying what's up?
See, here's a guy gave up a million.
Might as well be a billion, huh?
Charity, you believe it? What a loon.
This woman ran her car into a bank
and, now, she wants to thank
the insurance company for paying off.
Money's like a liquor,
and they're going to stick her
in the end. You'll see.

'Bout time the pavement gets rolled up. Getting dark.
Yup, we gots sports coming out the ears.
The boxing match will bring you to tears.
The lug did a header in the second round.
Football is good, but the lousy quarterback
ditched the ball and that's a fact.
But, the ponies are good.
So's the racing, they got the wheels.
Them guys, they got the feels
for where the rubber squeels the road.

Nah, mister, I ain't got no luck today. Things are flat.
The stocks are zooming fast,
but that will never last.
Never does. Not ever. Does it?
But there's this little bakery on Second
sold out for a virtual mint, I reckon
he will set home with the wife and knit.
Oh yeah, computers are through the roof.
Must be selling them on the hoof,
with the meat fat and happy in the bank.

What mister? You looking for a house? The right place.
This paper has plenty places for rent.
Go so fast you wonder where they went.
Good prices too. Downright reasonable.
Plenty of nice big apartments,
but if you got the sense,
you'll get a house. They come cheap.
Well try the YMCA, they got some rooms
if you don't mind a few loons.
At least it's warm. It's getting cold.

Well, I got to go mister, nice talking to you.
You sure you don't want a paper?
I'll discount you because it's later.
And because we talked and all.
No, I don't want no ice cream, it's freezing,
but pizza with meat and cheese in
the shop around the corner is good.
I'll give you a paper to be a bud,
but my name is mud
if my manager ever finds out.

Let's get going. It's blacker than spades out, now.
You don't have to hold my hand, I'm older than I look.
You bet. I did in several guys with my right hook.
I've got my own corner and it's all mine.
Hey, what you doing? Let me go, that's my sleave.
Where we going? Would be a good idea, you just leave.
That's an alley mister. It don't go nowhere.
Watch it mister. Get your hands out of there.
Where's the people? Where's the air?
Jesus! Help!

Copyright 2000 DPMcClellan