with its story to tell,
horseshoed and blue-black
with a red mad center oozing some blood,
not very much. Like the story, a small thing,
just forgetting to say thank you for the fried
chicken and biscuits, that were so good, I was
so happy, I was thinking of this good day.
I licked the blood tasting rusty belt buckle
and salted leathers and the questions laid with fury
on his back and legs, and arms. When it was quiet
again, they came to whisper-mumble in my ear,
what could I do to make it all stop. Maybe I could
suck all the poisons out and be all better like
a magical fairy tale. But magic was a lie, that I knew
because wishing Daddy wouldn't go away upon a star.
I crushed my fingers into tight balls
and mashed my eyes closed with the thinking
of super powers and a kind heart
that helped people without even knowing them.
I would break bread and hand out fish
that never ran out, like in bible class.
Not like here, this house here,
on a street like any other, and some more.
Were there others like me, who couldn't get Daddy's love?
Did the beatings flow on for days? Did the closets have
sting hangars? Would Mommas cry and watch from corners?
I could see no dreams to try for, no mountain I could climb,
the little hills too much for stupid boys. Daddy's song was
singing, you are a clumsy dog, you fall and bump and look
what you get. Purple flowers, dings and boo-boos.
Sorry boy, you be sorry, chain the whining mutt.
I pinched a bruise to make it white, watched the mulberry
come back with orange-yellow center. Daddy loves me,
this I know, I tell the darkened sky angel,
for my own good. I love him back, he only wants
me right as rain, falling pure and silently,
in a summer dawn. I will be these things, see
these things. Then I will get to hold my hand inside his
and walk together as his son.
� 2000DPMcClellan
