had grown sodden haze,
swirls thickening between us.
You brushed me away as a fly
settling on your nose tip
to inspect your eyes with legs
planting itching, anger to your lips.
I felt them pressed white.
You are my glitter stairway,
but as I climb a fall on high, sharp steps,
I stumble on riven cracks,
deep holes to clutch my ankles.
I can but talk of my love
in the language I express
without reservation. Yet you hear,
but do not see. The finality.
I give you all myself, so that you may know
me, as a man, as a whole being,
as all that I can, and want to give,
to you, a salted black corroded case,
opened by your profession of love, to reveal
the soft lavender, lining my heart.
You have words of your disinterest
in learning of mine treasures.
You speak of change in my nature,
to fit your world, unchanging it seems,
that you will step your castle in master's
steps, and care for those who serve.
Compromise is the ruler's right hand,
and justice is the left. The scepter is mercy,
the crown is embracing newness.
There can be no progress with no change.
I am no ideal, no fancy, no dream,
I am a broken man who seeks the pieces
of a life more desired than present life itself.
I accept you as you are, and love you for it,
the golden heart, the tenacity, the grace.
I stand on the edge of a void, the emptiness
of response to me. Poems read with no
response. No conversing emotion's depths.
I have lost importance to you, the lulls
in conversation for cards and other's.
I wait, wait, then find my own immersion,
the hurt, and fill the fissures of your absence,
your loss on the cable roads.
I think of you day to night and in my dreams,
You are the only glad part of my life.
But the long miles are building walls day by day.
I am bipolar, a writer, a poet, and artist,
I communicate in pictures, photograph and word feelings.
In love, I communicate the same,
but also with spoken word and touch, if you are near.
I need you to return your feelings to me.
Relationships are mutual bonding of rich lives in detail.
I need your wholeness, your essence, your soul.
I need you....
But you are too tired.
� 2000 DPMcClellan
