Scene One

The concept of defeat has never been something which is easy to accept. Honestly, the possibility of someone getting the better of me and winning in even the simplest tasks disgusts me, flipping and turning my stomach every which way. In every society or group of any people, hierarchies have been the cornerstones on which they rely upon to maintain order and avoid chaos.  However, as it has been seen through countless epochs, such systems can be unbalance with many on the bottom while a select few occupy the top tiers of power.  Like most people, I prefer the latter.  The position of the Alpha Male was something I had gotten used to and will not be vacating quietly.

Congratulations Venom, you sick bastard.  You achieved something few have in my wrestling career can brag about, you pinned me and got the win.  Even after this nut job act of kidnapping Becky Orton and holding her for the ransom of a title shot, I must admit that you are deserving of it.  Tonight you beat one of the best in the business which should be worn as a badge of honor and receive the perks of the jump in rankings.  You did not, however need to resort to extortion while holding an innocent hostage.  While I admire your professional abilities, you as a person are nothing short of a lunatic who should be done away with forever.  My own personal experiences in the past have led me to this evaluation of your character, my actions the darkest I had ever conceived.  It is with that memory that I would love to see Becky's brother Randy drag your scorched and flaming corpse through the streets of Australia this very night.  It seems, however, the world will have to endure you for a short time longer.

A click from a latch inside the doorknob at my dressing room door.  I had completely lost track of time, my thoughts circling in my mind.  A quick glance at my watch told me the very last of the GEW employees should have left almost an hour ago.  They would be back in the morning to dismantle the ring and staging fixtures.  But who is at the door now then?  The door opened a few inches, Melissa peeks brown hair-covered head in with a sense of eagerness and humor.

Melissa Michaels
You going to be leaving any time soon or plan on haunting these halls like some masculine, macho Casper?

What the hell is she doing here?!  No one told me anything about her coming to this show tonight and how the fuck long had she been standing out there?  I stood up quickly, too fast really, almost losing my balance in the process.  God only knows how retarded I looked running the way I did to swing open the door and drag her in by the arm.

Melissa Michaels
Hey, what gives?!

I stood in the threshold, my head peering into the hall.  I looked bother ways, left and right, listening for any signs of life besides the two of us.  Nothing, no echoes of distant voice, no sounds of audio and visual equipment being packed away.  Good, at least she made it through that unknown wait without anything happening.

Melissa Michaels
OK, weirdo, you think aliens coming after you or something?

I close the door as it was, shutting out everything else outside this room.  I felt along the molding edging the door, as if I was afraid some gaseous intruder would seep through.  Maybe I was just being paranoid, maybe not, but I was not going to take a chance with her.

Xavier Michaels
How long were you waiting out there.  You know you have just come in.

Melissa Michaels
Ew, seeing you get dress is just not something my eyes can handle.  Believe it or not, I actually want to keep my eyesight for another few decades.

Smart ass, mindless banter between us like this could go on for days if we allowed it.  True it did bring back memories from our childhood, but it was something I was hardly in the mood for, and did not think there was time.

Xavier Michaels
Shut up, No one asked why you were other there?  Who you were or anything?

Melissa Michaels
Yeah, you know what, there were some guys that did shine a big spotlight on me and asked where I was last month.  Would you chill out already?  You're acting like you got a major bug up your ass or something.

Xavier Michaels
This is just a place I would rather not have you be right now.  Which reminds me, how the hell did you get down here to begin with?  Australia isn't exactly a drive away.

Melissa Michaels
Duh, hello?  School's over dimwit.  You were there at the whole graduation thing, remember?

Of course I remember.  How could I forget?  One of the happiest moments of my life, seeing her finally reach the point where she can be called a woman, scary as the thought might be at times.  In many ways, I had to take our father's place where he would normally have been a part of her life.  If she even remembers him after all these years and since she was so young at the time, I never could figure out and she insisted on changing the topic whenever he came up.  There is a big difference between knowing the face from the pictures and actually remembering him.

Xavier Michaels
Yeah, I remember, but that's not the point.  How'd you get here and don't even think of saying you caught a plane.

Melissa Michaels
How else?  I'm not the helpless little girl you always thought I was anymore.

Xavier Michaels
That's not what I'm saying, it's just, there's something chances you shouldn't take and coming here was one of them.  Just trust me on this, there's some pretty freaking weird people here.

She raised an eyebrow at this; it wasn't the idea that other people strange that must have seemed absurd.  She just gave me the same look as usual whenever I got myself into this trap, "Pot and the kettle."  Very funny.  She did not even bother to respond, just looking around at the room surroundings absorbing every detail as if the decor of painted cinderblocks was appealing.  I moved around her and gathering the last of my gear into the duffle bag on the floor.  She looked at me with a questioning and really bewildered expression, perhaps my pace was somewhat rushed betraying my sense of anxiousness and urgency.  I had to get her out of her and fast, of that much I was positive.

Melissa Michaels
Xavier, what the hell is going on?  And don't give me that nothing crap.

Xavier Michaels
It's not something for you to worry about, just trust me on this, this isn't the best place for you to be right now.

She started to say something but was interrupted by me taking her hand and almost dragging her to the door.  If I had hurt her with the sudden jerking it was not my intention, but I think the injury to her was more emotional.  Never in her life had I held something back from her, but I did not want to burden her with my most likely irrational fears.  The only reason I acted on them was if they were proved correct, the cost would be too great for me to bear.

---

Scene Two

The points of these sessions are beginning to lose their value.  They were turning into more of an annoyance then anything.  The tone felt as if it was changing from a conversation of understanding to one of interrogation.

Dr. Cocci
What is it that you're afraid of?

This question above all else perplexed me.  Why would I be afraid of anything at all?  The very idea seemed irrational at best.  I mean what possible fate could be worse then the one I had already endured.  For the past four months, I have been living on borrowed time; anything that happened to me would merely be the price I would have to pay for my current existence.

Xavier Michaels
What are you talking about?  The whole thing's just crazy.

Dr. Cocci
What were you just telling me about how Thursday night?  How much you wanted to get Melissa away from anything GEW.

Xavier Michaels
Why the hell shouldn't I have?  Look, there's something she had to cop with a long time ago. For the longest time, she was just this empty thing that for a while,  she wasn't the girl I knew and grew up with  anymore.  Can you really blame me for wanting to protect her?

I would move Heaven and Earth to prevent history from repeating itself, both her pain and my delving into the darkest pit of my soul to seek vengeance.

Dr. Cocci
And you justify going this far of an extreme only to stop what has a very slim chance of ever happening?  Look at what you did just to get back at people who were friends of someone who beat Riley.  You probably destroyed two lives in the process.

Xavier Michaels
If they were still around, they would try to stop me from getting to the real two.  And now, I'm in a position where I can do something to help Riley, show her I only have the best intentions.

Dr. Cocci
Did she in any way at all ask you to do it?

Xavier Michaels
Well... not in so many words, or any other way, but I have to do something.  I haven't even talked to her in the few weeks since I signed the deal.

Dr. Cocci
Did you think about doing just that instead of going on some rampage?  Busying yourself with your own life and see if there is still anything there?

Xavier Michaels
Busy myself with my own life?!  How?  With what?!  I have nothing to commit myself to expect her and Mel.  What's so difficult about that to understand?  I can't have a self-centered goal because in truth I don't want or deserve it.

Worry and concern etched lines across her eyes and forehead.  She wanted the truth, this is the cold, brutal truth of it.  I should have died that day and saved everyone else the trouble of having to make sure I did try to finish the job that death screwed up.  Mom and Mel were so worried about me, the daily visits, talking soothingly to me as if I were a child.  But on truly contemplating it, I doubt I could fulfill this wish.  As much as I wished to fly away from her, I could not be the cause of a wound to them that deep.  For some unknown and eluding reason, they still loved me and would never desert me the way others had no matter what my moral trespasses may have been.

Dr. Cocci
How long have you had these feelings?

I said not a word.  I do not know if I could even admit it to anyone else but myself, even then it was only to reassure myself of the disparity that is my life.  She took the small steno notepad from the circular table to her left and flipped it open, scribbling something onto the pages.

Dr. Cocci
I'm going to give you a prescription here to try to ease these thoughts so they're not as harsh as they must be for you.

What is so difficult for so called "educated" people to understand.  It's not some chemical imbalance caused neither by the shock of my failed marriage nor anything else they're books could possibly explain away.  On that stretcher, I had known bliss, complete, unaltered bliss and if it were not my love for my mother and sister, I would have returned to it at first chance.

Xavier Michaels
This isn't going to mess around with my head is it?  Make me all drowsy because I can't afford any slip-ups come Sunday.  This match is big for my career.

Dr. Cocci
Don't worry about it, just make sure you don't take a dosage twenty-four hours before hand and you want have any problems.

I guess I really had no choice but to satisfy her that I would be a good boy and take this medication.  I will only flush it down the toilet when I get home with it though.  I don't want any of this.

---

Scene Three

January 22, 2007

Her softness, her warmth and tenderness had been something that I missed dearly, yet never realized it until this very night.  The hair created a golden mesh behind her head, her head turned slightly to the side letting an inaudible moan of pleasure escape her half-opened mouth.  It passed by her lips before she could stop herself.  Even in the delirium of the moment, she was almost stunned that she could actually allow a moment of ecstasy to engulf her.  It was something of an unwritten rule that they could receive no enjoyment from their services, it was just business.

With people like this in their workforce, it is no wonder that it is the world's oldest profession.  I came back from the trip to Europe feeling more empty, more hollow then ever before.  Hours after my arrival at Kennedy Airport, I eventually found my way to this place built form a renovated townhouse in Greenwich.  It was discreet enough.  No neon signs hanging from the walls, none of the girls standing aimlessly outside, its only source of advertisement was word of mouth from its previous clients.  With this mask of decency, it was most likely easy enough to avoid prosecution from the local authorities.  This city still had a notable reputation for turning a blind eye to invisible victimless crimes such as this.

The main hallway was a corridor of a regal shade of purple, women lining it and standing near the doorways, onto to each room.  The blond I chose had a certain difference about her that made her all the more appealing.  She was different then the typical auburn-haired women that have been or still are a dominant part of my life.  My mother, Riley, Melissa, my high school sweetheart who fro the life of me, I still cannot remember her name, all rich, dark hair.  Perhaps that is what I had been doing wrong in my life.  surrounded myself with what is familiar when I most likely needed something from beyond my original environment.

Inside was an elaborately decorated cube painted a rich ocher.  the air smelled heavily of lavender and the only light source seemed to be candlelight.  She took my hand and smiling invitingly enough, guided me to sit on the edge of the bed.  She opened a drawer from a side end table next to the bed and took out a mirror, streaks of white powder lined uniformly next to each other.  Holding a small, white straw to her nose, she bent down over the mirror now cradled on her thigh and took a deep inhale, on of the streaks disappearing into the blank shaft.  She tilted her head back sniffing nonstop for a few seconds, getting any straggling granules that did not make it all the way into her system.  She held out the straw to me, offering to share some of her powdered paradise.

Girl
Want some, baby?

I was hesitant to say the least.  The last thing I needed in my life was some drug addiction.  I had enough bullshit to deal with as it was.  She saw my apprehension, I never was skilled at masking my emotions, and took her thing hand under my chin and lightly pressed her lips to mind, sliding her tongue in between.  With a kind of reckless abandon that surprised even me, I gave myself over to it, surrendering to the moment. Fuck it, what else did I have to lose.

After the parting, I took the straw from her hand and bent over to the mirror.  I was somewhat surprised by the erotic nature of even this.  With an inward breath, the powder invaded my nostrils into my nasal cavity.  It was like nothing I had ever felt before, losing myself in the ecstasy.  I found that I was completely unprepared for the effects.  My thoughts turned into a murky haze, everything gelling into each other, creating a single cohesive unit rather then anything distinguishable or with identity.  I could feel my heart racing with it, trying to keep up with the pace that this new element demanded.

I fell all the way back, unable to even sit up now.  I could feel her doing something to my pants.  I just could not life my head up to see.  My belt clang lightly in the air and my pants unzipped.  I could feel her lips around me.  And to think, I had just kissed her, who the hell knows to how many other men she's done this. Yet this fact did not repulse me, disgust me to the point of storming out from this place and never look back.  In my history of sexual relations, this was something completely unprecedented.  I found the act to be filthy and would never allow someone I love to lower themselves to such a thing.  That was the key however, I did not love this girl.  She was nothing t me as was the same with the men that came before m and will be for those after I am gone.  I felt the release of myself and yet she still continued, devouring the seed that was ejected.  She was no doubt a professional at the job.

After she was finished, she crawled her way up to my chest, hovering over me, allowing me to roll her over and mount on top of her.  When it was done, and my ejaculation filed the latex barrier, I rolled off of her and lay next to her smiling figure.  The past is done and gone.  Riley's memory is gone, burned away now.  Why had I so hung onto her when the world had been waiting to greet me with open arms as the unnamed girl has done. For once in a very long time, I was actually glad to be alive.  Who knew that it would take a girl who will most likely not live to see her thirtieth birthday to get me to realized that I must start living for the moment and give myself over to my desires.

My heart was till pounding away rapidly as ever while I got my pants back on.  She lay patiently on the bed still smiling at me, partially ashamed at enjoying our encounter.  The mirror was on the table now, ready to be served to the next client.  I took the straw again and inhaled yet another line of it.  She did not even bat an eye to this, still courteous as ever.  I threw a small wad of cash on the bed in front of her, at least five hundred.  I always was a good tipper I guess.  She graciously accepted it, not even bothering to count it.

The pounding in my chest seemed to increase as I opened the door, but never mind that, it was probably normal anyway.  I could feel the sweat dripping from my forehead, the knocking in my chest growing in strength.  It is the middle of winter, but they really should turn the heat down in this place.  I lain my hand against the wall, trying to steady myself, but it was all a blur now.  It all seemed to swirl, dance around me as if the world was playing a cruel childhood game with me.  I did not ever feel the impact of the floor, only the finely woven material scraping against the side of my face.  I only heard those around me, someone screaming hysterically, another yelling for someone to call an ambulance.  It was all so very vague and distant, the voice not from those only feet away but miles in distance.

To Be Continued...