January 3, 1994

The lines.  Just stay between the lines.  The colored stick held between Brooke's small fingers pressed firmly against paper inside the book.  The waxy pigment spread across the off-white page as she slowly filled in the space with a careful attention to detail.  No little dots left not filled and had to get everything up to the line but not over it at all.  Just on the space, not the line.  And even, it had to look even.  Going light then dark and light again in some places just made it look yucky.

Brooke liked to color.  It was easy and it was really had to mess up with crayons.  And the books her daddy gave her all the time gave her lots of time and stuff to practice with.  Brooks and books filled with her art used to be thrown all over the floor of her room.  It was her mommy that wanted them to be kept better, put away in boxes in her closet and under her bed.  She told Brooke that they were nice and pretty.  If Brooke kept practicing, her mommy told her when she first started, she could make a lot of money and be famous just for drawing and coloring.  Brooke did not know abut all that though, she just knew that she liked to do it and the lines in the books made it easy.

But that was a long time ago, or it felt like it was anyway.  Her mommy was gone; she wet away what she could only guess was a year ago.  Her daddy was sad for a long time after God took her.  He drank the smelly stuff a lot now and it made him sleepy most of the time.  He looked the same, but he king of stopped being her daddy.  He was someone else now.  He would still get her new crayons whenever the old ones were all used up, new books when she did all the pictures in the ones she had.  Sometime, she would feel really proud of herself and hold up her latest to show him.  Sometimes he would put it on the refrigerator with the metal things that stuck together.  But other times, he would be too tired and just tell her that she was a good girl.

He had his ups and downs like that sometimes.  Lately though, it's been all down, ever since he found out his brother, Xavier and Melissa's daddy had gone away too.  It was a couple days before Christmas that Aunt Jessica called and told him.  She had not seen him this sad since her mommy went away.  She tried to cheer him up, that thinking about what Santa would bring him to make him feel better, but nothing she could do worked.  Instead, he drank more of the smelly water and went to sleep in his chair.

Brooke wished she could go with them all and say goodbye to Uncle Terry.  Her daddy, Xavier, Melissa, Aunt Jessica, they were all going but she had to stay back with Grandma.  They said she was too little to really know what was going on.  She was four.  Melissa was five.  Her pre-school teacher said five was one more than four, so she was not that much littler than Melissa, so why did she have to stay while everyone else got to go bury Uncle Terry?  She did not remember a lot from when they put her mommy in the ground, and she wanted to see what it was like and really pay attention this time.  She liked Uncle Terry; he was nice.  He was away a lot of the time, but she saw him a few times and he played with both her and Melissa at the same time when they were together.

How long were they gone now?  Her teacher did not teach her how to know what a clock said yet, but she wanted to learn now more than ever in the world so she would know how long it would be before they all got back.  Xavier said something about five o'clock, but she could not figure out what that meant.  This book was almost finished and she was starting to get bored, and everyone knew not to bother Grandma when she was drinking from her box.

She heard doors closing outside, causing her to close her book and look hopefully through the window behind her.  Looking over the couch's back, she looked out to see them all coming home.  The front door opened and she sat back down onto the couch as if she had not been doing a thing and never knew they were coming.  She saw her daddy and Aunt Jessica come in together walk past the doorway into the living room and down the hall.  She tried to call after him, draw him to her to pay her some attention, but then she started smiling when she saw Xavier and Melissa walk into the room.

The dress Melissa was wearing was pretty but a little dark and sad looking.  Her brown hair covered most of her head, her face in Xavier's chest while he carried her towards Brooke who was all too happy at the chance to talk to her cousin.  He sat her down next to Brooke, but Melissa did not want him to go.  She grabbed his shirt and pulled at it, wanting him to stay with her.  "It's alright, Mel," he told her trying to keep her calm, "I'll be right back."  With a kiss on the top of Melissa head, Xavier turned and walked out of the room back through the same doorway they came in, leaving her and Brooke alone together while the rest of the family there for Uncle Terry were talking throughout the rest of the house.

Melissa looked so sad; it made her think of just how sad her daddy looked.  Brooke hoped she would not start drinking that same water.  Scooting over the couch cushions to cover the space between them, Brooke was going to try to cheer her up.  She hated to see people so sad.  "What's wrong, 'Lissa?," she asked like she had no idea.  Melissa wiped at the water coming out of her eyes and down her face, crying when she answered, "My daddy's gone.  The bad men hurt him."  "He's with my mommy and God in Heaven," Brooke said as if it were to be a comfort.  As much as she hoped Melissa would smile, Brooke could not get her to stop being sad.  Seeing the water come down faster now, it made Brooke feel sad herself.  Was she liked this when her mommy died?

After a couple minutes, Xavier came back to the room and stood at the couch in front of the two girls.  Melissa only cried and cried; she probably did not even know he was there until he reached down to pick her up.  Almost like a bug, Melissa grabbed onto him, wiping her face against his chest and her crying going a little quiet now.  Brooke could not help but look up in wonder at Xavier.  He looked sad, really sad, but he was not crying.  He must have been really strong to pick her up and carry her like that, kissing the side of her head over her hair and rubbing up and down her little back.  He was trying to keep her calm, to stop crying.  Brooke could tell Melissa's crying was hurting him as much as it was herself.  Brooke tried to get her to be happy, but it just was not going to work.

Turning back to the doorway, Xavier carried Melissa away and down the hall to where Brooke could not see.  Now she felt really said.  She felt bad for Melissa, hard to even imagine how much Brooke would cry if she lost her daddy.  As if thinking about him had been a call on the phone, she beamed a smile when she saw him walk through the door.  Eager to be held up in his arms like Xavier had done with Melissa, Brooke slid off of the couch and ran over to him with her book and crayons in hand.  But instead, he only took her by the hand and said, "Let's go home, Brooke."

In a way, she wanted to stay, to try and make Melissa feel better.  But being there around her crying and not able to make her smile no matter what made her feel sad and helpless.  She failed Melissa just like she failed her daddy in cheering him up.  Some day, she would get Melissa to smile and not feel so guilty about not doing it here.  Wrapping her small hand around her daddy's fingers, she followed as he led her out of the room and on their way home.

Her and Cole had landed at Kennedy International a few short days ago, finally bringing an end to their tour with GEW's shows in England and Ireland, and were met by Xavier and Melissa waiting for them in the terminal.  All through the flight over the Atlantic, the abyss of ocean beneath them as they flew onward to their future, Brooke had been extremely anxious.  Melissa and Cole had gotten along perfectly during the dinner they had when she came over to see them and talk specifically about the plans for their wedding.  Her female cousin was the least of her worries though, but how Xavier would be around Cole, that was what was weighing heavily on her mind.

She was literally praying that Xavier would not be a complete dick to him, coming out with some asshole-ish comment about Kameron.  But then again, Melissa had already assured her that Xavier was perfectly fine with Cole, accepting the fact that just because they were not his brother's biggest fans, that he was nothing like him.  To her relief, Xavier was actually friendly towards Cole.  Thank God.  He even went so far as to actually congratulate them.  With that, she felt positive that nothing could bring her down from this high that she was on.

Over the past month, Brooke had really received nothing much in the way of physically training for work in a wrestling ring.  She loved Cole to bits, but during the past month or so that they've been on GEW's European tour, he was not the best of trainers.  Not that it was his fault really; his ring experience was not much more than her own.  That had to change, however, and it was one of the things that Melissa had taken it upon herself to change.  Training in the small apartment they had kept and furnished as a gym, Melissa had set about giving Brooke a more in-depth crash course in working an opponent's weakness down.  That was only part one, however.  Part two was now taking place early this morning.

The limbs of trees and their leafy adornments ruffled gently in the breeze of the early morning's light.  The waters of the reservoir to their left raised into slight waves to come crashing down against the against the rest of its body, the lapping sound accompanied by the muffled sound of Brooke and Melissa's running sneakers pounding against the trail's asphalt road.   Both clad in jogging outfits of differing color schemes, Brooke was going with Melissa on her morning routine of her run through Central Park.  Melissa told her that she was going to need stamina if she was going to at last anyone in the ring, let alone be a champion.  What good would it be if she started huffing and puffing out of breath five minutes into a match?

Both their hair tied back into tight ponytails with elastic bands, Brooke's out the hole in the back of her baseball cap, their thin bodies cut a silent path through the quiet of the mourning.  Towering over her cousin by a matter of a few inches, Brooke could not help but notice the change in Melissa.  She appeared to be more mature.  It was as if the girl had aged ten years in the span of just one.  Brooke even saw it in Ireland, Melissa had changed since her rape.  From the way she dressed to the way she carried herself, her cousin was a changed woman.

"Hey, Melissa," Brooke asked wearily, unsure whether or not the question stirring in her head was an approachable subject with the other girl, "How are you feeling after the ummm... the... you know?" Silence from Melissa for what felt like forever, Brooke was mentally kicking herself for prodding into what was obviously a very sensitive area.  "Still a little sore from the abortion," she finally said to break the silence to Brooke's relief, "But the people at the clinic said that's normal.  They gave me some Percosets for the pain."  And that was that, leaving the topic of what caused the unwanted pregnancy completely untouched.

Brooke took the hint that she did not want to talk about it, she followed closely alongside her.  Shivers of pain periodically rippled down her arm.  The double dosing of Ibuprofen was starting to wear off already.  She was going to have to find another alternative before Sunday; she could ill afford a repeat of what happened against Troy.  By a second, she could feel her pace slow just a bit, watching painfully as Melissa pulled a few feet ahead of her.  "Hey, girl, wait up," she called after her, finally catching up to her as Melissa slowed her pace some, "Damn, how do you keep this up for so long?"

Melissa could not help but laugh at Brooke as she followed along with her barely able to keep her breath.  Thinking that she could use a break, Brooke was all too relieved when Melissa broke off the path to move towards a picnic table.  "You alright Brooke?," she asked concerned after seeing the somewhat pained expression on her cousins face, "Your shoulder still bothering you?" "Yeah," Brooke nodded her head and bending over trying to catch her breath, "It's starting to hurt like hell now.  Wouldn't be able to like spare just one of those pills would you?  Get me through 'til after the wedding today?"

Melissa looked away as she crossed her arms over her chest, biting down on her lips and bending her right leg at the knee.  The toe of Melissa's running sneaker rubbed against the asphalt as she considered just what Brooke had suggested before pointing a finger at her as if in a warning, "If Cole or Xavier asks, I never did this for you alright.  Last thing I need going around is that I'm some dealer."  "Cross my heart," Brooke smiled while doing her best attempt at a Girl Scout salute.

"God that's pathetic," Melissa laughed slightly, "Come on, lets finish this and get home.  We got to get you ready for this.  Not everyday you get married."  "I sure as hell hope not," Brooke joked as she followed Melissa, both starting off back on the path, "Hey, I don't think I asked this, but what's with the glasses?" "God, the contacts just started getting too annoying," Melissa rolled her eyes with a shake of her head, "And besides, Xavier thinks I look kinda sexy with them."  "Eww," Brooke just had to stop her before she continued with any more details on her and Xavier's sex life, "Just stop ok, I so don't need to know."