Chapter One
June 21, 2007
He felt so exposed within this open air environment, vulnerable to any weary, sidelong glance from the family gathered to celebrate the event witch had taken place that day. Aunts, uncles, cousins, all present to congratulate Melissa, yet he could not shake the feeling of being the true object of their attention. Come one, come all, gather around in a circle and stare in wide wonder at the burned and scarred freak of Xavier Michaels. Perhaps he was simply being paranoid and really letting the repaired skin tissue deform itself again if only to have reason to escape here because of his disdain for them all. To them, he was now the family freak, the odd ball, the wraith, the one which failed to live up to the expectation of being his father's son.
In the shadow of a corner of the deck, he had decided to hide. Hugging closely to the weather-proofed panel of the wall, in the growing shade as a result of the waning sun. He watched mutely as they chatted amongst themselves, consumed only briefly by a plume of smoke wafting over from the grill manned by his Uncle Frank. A post-graduation party, how very generic yet typical of them. This was a big moment for her, the point in which she had evolved from a child into a woman. Given what she had done for him the past seven months, putting up with all his depressive shit and sincere desire to off himself, she deserved so much more and he was going to see to it that she got whatever he heart desired.
She had stuck by him through it all, and for that he owed her a seemingly unplayable debt. How does one repay someone for giving them reason to live again? That was the question which continued to rack his brain day by day as he finally caught himself doing things he had not even dreamt of since awakening that day to feel nothing but pain. He found that he was starting to plan for the future, wondering wondering where to go from here since he was finally fully healed from questioning why he bothered to crawl out of bed in the morning.
He awoke to find his life in tattered shambles. Divorced while in his slumber and damn-near crippled, the oblivion and inky void of death would have been preferable. Yet as much pain as had been coursing through his body at the time, his darkest hour, she was there to comfort and hold him. The fact that he was clothed only by the drafty hospital gown was not the real humiliation, but that he could be so weak in front of her. He was the older brother, he was supposed to be the strong stoic one, he was the one there for her after she was raped. Now, it seemed, the roles had been reversed and she was the one to nurse him back to health, bringing back from the brink of desperation.
Over the past few months, they had become even closer then they had ever been the previous seventeen years. So much so that the line of their brother/sister relation had become somewhat blurred. He found himself giving her those glances as he looked at her, adding precious few yet extra seconds to a kiss, taking the time to stay close to her afterwards and take in the smell of her hair. A relationship between them could not and would not ever happen, but that did not keep his mind from wandering to thoughts and dreams of a future that could never be. What kind of life would they have? Being the outcasts, shunned by the rest of society was not an easy situation that someone just dived into. And what of any children that would come into this world because of them? How could they justify bringing a child into the world that would forever have the stigma of being inbred hanging over its head for its entire life? She was no Riley, but dare they pursue such a thing? Not to mention the possibility of her being disgusted by such an idea. Such a simple thing of pursuing a relationship complicated so much by their own, personal situation.
He saw her walking out into the openness of the deck, turning to beam a smile at him but walking away to the wooden frame of the railing around the outside on the opposite side. The heels of her shoes clicking with a clack with every step as he followed in the direction she was heading. Turning around, she leant against the railing as she almost sat on it. A shake of her head to toss her long brown hair from her face, blowing slightly in the soft wind, she smiled again at him as he approach, but his gaze upon her face was only momentary. The billowing gray, cotton of the shirt down to black slacks, the tie around her neck slightly askew. Her school had wanted to keep things formal, but he did like what he was seeing nonetheless.
His arm outstretched to her side before his palm rested on her waist, slipping across the shirt and belt as he leaned in to kiss her. Their lips met and stayed connected for what some would consider to be too long, but not for them, not as close as they had become. They parted, foreheads touching as they still remained together, lips only inches from each other. "Congratulations, Mel," he whispered to her softly, "This whole party thing sucks, but you know mom. I want to do something for you, but you know how much I suck when it comes to this present stuff. Anything you want? Kind of like your birthday and graduation rolled into one."
"I thought it'd be so obvious," she answered him with a reach down and touch of his hand on her waist, "I want you. Only you." The words had left him stunned for what had felt like forever, almost leaving him hanging there to be suspending only by her supported of having him lean on her. It was not some crazy thing he had been feeling. He was not insane, insane people do not have the same delusions. "Mel.... I....," he stammered, stumbling over his own words as he tried to finally get out what he had and wanted so badly to say.
Without any sense of warning, he heard their mother's voice echo over their heads, shocking him from his stupor. "Melissa," she yelled to them, walking harshly and taking Melissa by the arm, "You have to meet this guy, he's saying he can help get you feeling more comfortable at NYU with friends and all." "Mom," said Melissa with a look to Xavier, trying to figure a way to get out of this but it was no use as their mother pulled her away. Melissa looked back towards Xavier with a look of hope, practically dragged by their mother to wherever, obviously liking his nonverbal response because a smoke broke across her face as she disappeared from his view and blocked by the bodies of those gathered.
He had reason to hope now. As crazy as the idea sounded, he was not going out of his mind by thinking there was something else between other then the simple bond of brother and sister. Looking up to the sky now at the purple, red and orange sky hanging high above, he could only smile to himself. As much as he would hate to admit it and break him out of his hopeless mental state, things were finally starting to look better.
Chapter Two
The heavens above rained down upon those beyond the glass shield between them and him as he watched on in amazement at the stupidity of some people. So dedicated they were in their pursuit of the material, they would bother trekking forth into the deluge outside. Like he was much better, but this shopping of wares was not about him or Melissa, but for someone else. "Xavier," Melissa called from behind him with a tug on his arm, wanting him to turn around to face her but the motion of actually doing it would tire her out too much, "Come over here, you have to see this."
Taking his hand, she walked ahead of him, guiding him along through the maze of clothing racks stocked full of baby clothes. Stopping at a shelf, she pulled something from out of no where as if she were a magician pulling a rabbit from a top hat. Whatever it was, she lain it over his chest, turning him around and laying the Velcro straps over one another.
"The hell is this?," he asked in exasperation at her moving so quickly now, hands resting on his stomach to find a soft, jelly-like surface. "It's called a strap-on stomach, honey, or something like that," she told him absently, "So you know, you'll know what it's like for me later on when I get bigger." "Strap-on, huh?," said he in a huff of breath, "Sounds like something you'd give your friends in the Village for like a lez love wedding present." An elderly man stopped to wait in line at the nearby register, merely looking over in their direction. "The fuck you looking at old man? Never seen a guy with a strap-on before?," said Xavier to him getting him to turn around quickly.
Reaching around behind his back, he tore the straps away to break the jelly stomach's grip on him. Letting it drop in his hand and carelessly sat it on the shelf behind her. "Come on, Mel," he said in almost a whining tone, "We have to get going. JFK's going to be a bitch with all the tourists finally going the hell back to wherever they came from after New Year's." "It's to Baltimore, dear. Short flight. We could really drive there if we had to," she told him returning her attention to her woman-shopping-mode and ignoring his pleas to leave.
"Yeah.... but...," he whined still, "You know how I feel about new partners and all. Have to get there early enough to make sure we're both on the same page before we go take on the redneck and the covergirl." "You'll do fine with Ice Queen, trust me," she told him now holding a pink foot pajama outfit, "Now look at this, Xavier, and don't tell me this isn't precious."
The thing she held over her chest was just so small, but then again, so are babies, and it was pink... and the foot thing... and pink. "OK, first of all, the foot thing would make me feel all claustrophobic. And second, you're not dressing my son up in pink. Oh hell fucking no, that ain't happening." With a smirk, she hung the small outfit back on the rack and countered, "And what about dressing my daughter up in pink hmm?" "No, it's a boy," he said with a humorous point of the finger, "After you're done pushing it out and the doctor says it's a girl, he's blind and doesn't realize that's just a really little cock. No matter though, there's pills and stuff he can take to fix that thing and he'll be just like his old man." "It's a girl," she said with a smirking and looking down at his crotch, "Trust me, women know more about these things."
Her jaw formed something of an "O" shape and she almost ran as fast as she could in the direction of whatever had caught her attention. "Melissa Kristin Michaels," he called after her, "We have to go like right now and get to Baltimore."