Scene One
December, 24, 2006
Flakes of frozen white fall from the heavens, moving to and fro along with the flow of the wind and collect harmlessly amongst their kin past to form a thin sheet. The street is not surprisingly empty, only the rare man or woman holding the chest of the coat close and scurrying past to their destination. Be it Christmas Mass, family dinner or gathering or last minute shopping although most business in a town light this are closed for the night, means little to nothing to me. Normal people with normal lives. What has held my attention for the last ten minutes is what seems to be the only lasting fixture on this night, a choir fourteen boys and girls of all ages dressing in red and white robes signing what sounds to be a very familiar Christmas hymn, only in Italian. Every member in sync with the others, radiating a harmony I thought torn quietly from the world as it slept. It is no wonder that so many people find hope and love for all from nothing, while just as many discover only desperation and self hate.
Out from the nook of the stone corners covered with shadow I step a couple feet into the light of the street lamp above. I turn my gaze upward, staring up at the light shining down, the choir continuing its chorus, it all seems to be something from an inspirational story of hope and finding God. For me on this night, it was something entirely different. Why? The thought repeating rapid fire through my mind. Why does it have to be like this? Why can I not be like them? Why can I not be normal? Is it really all that much to ask? Silence. No thundering of clouds, no bright star appearing from nowhere, no appearance of a man in white followed by singing. Only the singing of the choir across the street in front of the church, creating a gothic backdrop, the stone arches reaching high over their heads.
The volume of their voices increased with every step, down from the curb and across the cobblestone street, the great divide between here and there. My presence did not disturb them in the slightest, on the contrary, they gained a new fervor, breaking into a faster past song. The rise of their collective voice ringing out through the street ahead, echoing against the stone walls. They had a passion for what they were doing, and loved it so. Ah the gift of innocence that youth is so entitled to, so much so that they become blind with naivety. The priest in front beaming a smile and hands held together under his chin, obviously proud of their work. A shimmering brass bowl sat idly by at his feet, sparsely occupied with bills and coins. I bent down and toss in twenty euro, adding to the small collection. Why not. The priest waved with a smile at me.
Priest
Graci, graci.
I smiled back, my good deed for the day I guess. A strange thing a smile is. It is able to mask such obscure misery and hate, and yet people accept such a gesture without question nor bothering to wonder if such a thing is sincere. The small group continued on as I walked forwards and up the steps leading to the double heavy wooden doors, the top coming to a sharp point like the rest of the arches along the facade. The doors were large, immense even, held together with wrought iron fittings and circular handles to pull.
A wooden roar followed the effort of them being pull, grinding across the worn hinges. I entered pulling the door closed behind me. The scent of burning wax filled my lungs, rows upon rows of red candles lined the altar ahead. The tragic figure of a crucified Christ, hanging to endure his punishment carried out by the Romans, behind. According to the Christian tradition, his crucifixion is supposed to be a joyous time, yet he looks so sad and fearful. How could he, if it was true of what his followers would claim him to be, fear death? Yet another instance of hypocrisy.
This place reeked of the extravagant ceremony Catholics so dedicate themselves to follow. The architecture, richly scented pews lining both sides, gold chalices on the altar, the grandeur of it all going completely against the vow of poverty they were supposed to have claimed upon induction. Nevertheless, if something was going to happen, something that would alter my perspective of the past, this would have to be the place. Centuries ago, people would make pilgrimages from hundreds of miles around just to come here and merely stand where I am now. All I need to ask a single question.
For a good long while, all I could do was stand there before the painted statue, one who countless others have sought solace and answers to the smallest mysteries of life. "Thou shalt not worship any graven image," huh? For a moment, I forgot what I had come to say. Then it came to me, with all the anger, hate and sadness of before.
Xavier Michaels
Why has it come to this? What happened
and where did I go wrong?
Silence. I had figured as much. Never before had I felt so much anger towards something, real nor imagined. I stepped forward, walking towards the graven image only stopping within inches of it and gazing upwards.
Xavier Michaels
Answer me, dammit. You owe me that much.
Silence again. What was I expecting? Some type of divine revelation where all would be explained and I would realize how childish I had been? It grew to a boiling point inside myself now, I could scarce contain it any longer. I reject you, as I have expelled everything that is false in my life. Only I remain, myself, the only one I can truly depend on. I laid my hand down on the side, not sure even now what had compelled me at the moment, but my arm gave a sharp push from behind the thing. For a second, it swayed to one side to the other before its own weight and momentum pulled it forward towards the altar. Gravity did the rest and pulled it down over the altar like a see-saw, the head falling down the other side. The crash echoed, deafening against the stone walls as the top half shattered.
I looked down at it in amazement, wondering if I really was capable of something such as this. Yes, yes I was am still am. Maybe I always was, I just needed the right amount of anger to find my way. Yes, that is the secret that I forgot long ago and it will be my guide. Here now, I abandon peace and desecrate law. Let this now be my guide, judge and executioner.
The crash surely attracted the attention of those outside and they would come and see what I had done. I had to leave and now unless I preferred to face human law now. One of the heavy doors pushed open by the old priest that was outside to find the crucified Christ shattered all along the floor. I however was gone by now, slipping out through the back by the priests' chambers. At least this venture was not entirely fruitless.
Scene Two
The water tasted rich and cold flowing down my throat from the circular glass container, returning it to its prior home on top of the rounded table in front of me. Se sat across from me, skirt riding up her crossed legs and patiently gazing at me through her artificial lenses. The tick of the clock on the mantel above the false fireplace measure the passage of time, taking all too long. I had been going to these sessions with Dr. Cocci for four months now, every one feeling the same yet somehow different.
Dr. Cocci
So what does Melissa think about you getting
back into wrestling?
Xavier
Micheals
She's happy that I decided to go back.. I
think. I don't know, I guess she's probably worried.
Dr.
Cocci
Of
what do you think?
Xavier
Micheals
That something might
happen, you know. That I might lose it again go back to how I was a few
months ago.
Dr. Cocci
Only natural for her to be
afraid for your safety. It's only natural for siblings as close as
yourselves to worry for the other.
Xavier
Micheals
But
it's not natural for her to worry about me. It's been the
other way around since we were kids. Every one that even looked at her
funny, every boy she dated, I was the protective one. She'd even
tell you, I practically shoved toothpicks underneath their nails. And besides,
why should she worry? When I was wrestling last year, it was one of the
best times of my life. I couldn't have been happier.
Dr.
Cocci
That
was about the same time you met Riley wasn't it? And with the separation,
you only fell into the state you were before.
Xavier
Micheals
So
what's your point? How's the presence of that relationship have any effect
on my life or career now?
Dr.
Cocci
Tell me one
thing, what went through your head when you found out that she works for the
same company now? Was it happiness, fear, or something in between?
Xavier
Micheals
I
don't know. For a minute, I asked myself if there were still any feelings
there. Then, I don't know, I guess I was afraid of seeing her again at
all.
Dr. Cocci
Was there hope that you two would be
able to reconcile? Save your marriage? If it is, don't be afraid,
it's only natural. That point in your life, as brief as it was, was
something good for you. It gave you the confidence you needed to succeed
at anything.
But is it what I really want? Maybe it was for the best that she left and never looked back. Maybe it was never meant to work after all. And given what I had started to turn into, it was a good thing that she left when she did.
Xavier
Micheals
And if there's no hope, that
she'll just slap the shit out of me for showing my face?
Dr.
Cocci
Well
then, the decision to file for the divorce is going to have to be made, if you
can take that final step. Sure it'll be hard but whether or not you want
to admit it, you're strong enough to get through it and move on. Fear
doesn't go away, it has a way of following you wherever you hide. You have
other people to help, remember that. What was it you told me about being
in that hospital bed? Who was it that was there to bring you back?
I have to get her to shut up. I cannot stand talk like this. I went to that dark place before and it's not something I want to repeat, not after how much I hurt her with my wish for self destruction, my own baby sister.
Xavier
Micheals
OK, OK, I get the point. I'd just rather hope for the first
option, if it's even possible at all.
Turning my eyes back up to the small clock, the hands read one o'clock in the afternoon. She look at it with me at the same time and met my gaze with her. Time's up.
Scene Three
The darkness. It can be a friend, it can be an ally, it can hide that which we do not wish prying eyes to see. It can also keep the focus of the attention deficient, those distracted by the simplest things, plainest colors. Which why I chose this setting for my first promo shoot of GEW. This has one purpose and one purpose only, to send a loud and clear message to Venom, one in which even he can understand. The darkness envelopes me, allowing only the view of my face.
Xavier
Michaels
Well,
Tommy, or should I say Venom, or whatever you wish to be called at this time of
the day, I believe a congratulations is in order. Even with all the
education, or lack thereof that I have given you credit for, you can actually read words on a
screen. I know this because you saw my short biography on GEW.com, and to
my amazement, you actually comprehended it. I bet that got you a gold star
on the little chart mom set up for you on the refrigerator. You are trying
to scout and learn all you can about your opponent, something even beginners are
able to grasp.
The smile I had been wearing for the camera, trying to create a pleasant and warming image finally wears off. The will to do so faded as my commendation of the simpleton is now over.
Xavier
Michaels
What
you failed to do is continue on in this education. You skimmed through my
biography, slapping your knee with a little laughter as I had partnered with a
purple dinosaur. I am not here to amuse nor entertain you. You will
never see me try to appear funny, that's not why I am here. I was dead
serious when I signed that contract to work for this company. So I'm sorry
to disappoint you. No actually I'm not, I could really give a damn what
you think because honestly, your opinion like that of someone in a psych ward of
a hospital sounds like gibberish to those who can be considered
"normal." You expect a pat on the pat, people to be proud of you
for taking your medication so you stop talking yourself, yet you will find no
such camaraderie from me. Not Thursday, nor any other time in the future.
You seem to have this strange plan for my destruction. How something as childish as that came to even you is beyond my understanding. Have you really had your face stuck in a comic book for so long, you're even starting to think like some cheesy evil villain from the sixties? Come back to reality or you will sooner or later finally wake up to find out that you no longer have a job. Those GEW masterminds around here will only put up with you losing time after time because you have your head in Lala Land or up your boyfriend's ass, you choose which one, instead of paying attention to that which is important.
A simmering of anger, letting my mind drift to a comment, one which was foully misplaced. My right eye blinking twice uncontrollably with the anger.
Xavier
Michaels
I only wish you graduate the fourth grade
and would act like an actual adult for once instead of insulting others who have
no idea who you are, and never will because you are and always will be a shit
stain on the underwear of professional wrestling. You have no idea who I
am, what I have done nor accomplished in my wrestling career. Unlike you,
I am a former champion. You on the other hand will one day land in a room
with padded walls in a straight jacket, leaving GEW the same way you came in, a
nutcase. Contrary to what you believe, girls actually do not have, what is
the word kids say, "koodies." So if you don't mind, keep your
immature bullshit thoughts about Riley to yourself. Or after Thursday,
you'll be dependant on another woman, a nurse in fact who will be changing you
IV bag to feed you intravenously since you know longer will have a mandible
bone. Do I make myself clear, or do I need a much simpler setting as this
to get you to focus on what I am saying?
Out of the camera's small view of me, I single the camera operator to stop filming with my hand. Letting the feed fade out on my angered face, chomping at the bit to get into the ring at Chaos.
