The Book of Thoth, Part Eight

You are letting your anger and your fear control you, Thoth said to Daniel as he searched the chambers of the palace for Nefrekeptah.

You think I'm afraid of Nefrekeptah? Daniel asked.  What more can he do to me than he's already done?

Not Nefrekeptah - that is not the fear I spoke of.  You fear the one thing that has stalked you all your life, Thoth said.  Loss.  

I didn't lose anything while being held captive on Memphis - oh, except my life.  Just temporarily, of course - no harm done, Daniel responded sarcastically.   

You fear you have lost your soul, Thoth said.  First when Nefrekeptah sacrificed you for his pleasure like an animal.  Then when I took you as a host.  Through all the losses you have endured, you have held onto the soul, the spirit, which makes you who you are - and you feel now you are losing that as well, losing yourself.  

That's not why I'm doing this, Daniel said.  You're wrong.

I wonder which one of us has done the most damage to your soul, Thoth said.

My soul's not the one in danger right now, Daniel said.  Nefrekeptah's is.  I'm about to send him to the underworld.  You want your revenge too, don't you Thoth?  I know you do - I can feel it.

Daniel found a secured door, and backed up, blasting open the locking mechanism with his staff weapon.  Leaning the weapon against the doorframe, he began pulling the door panels apart.  As soon as he had pried open a space large enough to go through, a burst of energy from a ribbon device flung him backwards into the hall, his staff weapon clattering to the floor beside him.  He scrambled for it, his head reeling, as Nefrekeptah approached him.

"You were foolish to allow me to escape before," Nefrekeptah said.  "A mistake I do not intend to make here." He raised his hand, focusing on Daniel's eyes as he activated the ribbon device again.  He was caught totally unaware as Daniel grasped the end of the staff weapon, swinging it in a wide arc at his legs.  He went down on his back, and Daniel grabbed the weapon and drove the end of it into Nefrekeptah's ribbon device as he lay helpless.  The weapon's center shattered, and Nefrekeptah cried out in pain.  He fought to get away, crawling back into the room as Daniel got to his feet, bringing the staff weapon up.

"Unlike you," Daniel said, advancing on him, "I'll be satisfied with killing you one time."

Nefrekeptah held up his ruined hand.  "You do not want to destroy me.  You still do not know the location of the Book.  I will lead you to it."

"It's too late to bargain," Daniel said, as he activated the staff weapon.

"Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said, stepping alongside him.  Daniel turned in surprise, then his face hardened.  "Get out of here, Teal'c," he said, turning back to Nefrekeptah, who backed into a corner, cowering away from him.

"I will not," Teal'c replied, relieved that the cry of pain that had brought him to this room had not been Daniel.

"You know what I have to do," Daniel said.

"I know what you want to do - how you want your revenge on this Goa'uld.  You must not."

"Do you know what he did to me?  What I went through, during those days he held me captive?" Daniel said, his voice raw with pain.

"I cannot imagine what he has put you through," Teal'c said.  "And you must also feel the betrayal felt by Thoth, who wishes to seek his revenge as well."

Daniel didn't answer as Teal'c continued.  "The Daniel Jackson I know does not seek revenge.  He comes to term with his pain in other ways."

Daniel's grip tightened on the staff weapon.  "You think you know me, Teal'c."  He glanced over at Jack and Sam as they entered the room, skidding to a stop when they saw what was happening.  "You all do."  He fired a blast into the wall above Nefrekeptah's head, causing him to flatten himself onto the floor in fear.  "I'm not even sure I know who I am anymore."

"You are still Daniel Jackson - our friend," Teal'c said.  "That will never change."

"The Daniel you know is being lost," Daniel finished softly.  "Changed, transformed - swallowed up."  He laughed harshly.  "Maybe that's for the best.  What's left of my soul after this bastard cannibalized it probably isn't worth saving."      

"That is not true," Teal'c said firmly.  "A soul such as yours, Daniel Jackson, will not easily be overcome.  It may be doing battle with the darkness that threatens it, but you will win that battle in the end if you continue to fight against it.  You must not do this," Teal'c said.

Daniel lowered the staff weapon, and when he looked up again, Teal'c was aware that he no longer addressed Daniel.  "You are wise, Jaffa," Thoth said.  "The price would be high for Daniel to commit this act."

"Too high," Teal'c replied.  "That you must know."

With great effort, he deactivated the staff weapon and handed it to Teal'c.  "My revenge will wait," Thoth said.  "I hope that you are correct about Daniel," he said to Teal'c.  

"Of this I am sure," Teal'c said.  He motioned for Jack, who was already pulling out restraints to bind Nefrekeptah.  

"I think our friends the Tok'ra might want to have a few words with you," Jack said, as he pulled Nefrekeptah to his feet.  "Oh, and by the way - I never got to finish that story you wanted me to write - but I'm feeling a little more inspired now," he said, hauling Nefrekeptah toward the door.  

"We must leave quickly, before he is missed," Thoth said to Jack.   

"You heard him, let's move," Jack said, giving Nefrekeptah a shove.  Sam followed closely at his elbow, keeping the Goa'uld under watch.  

Teal'c waited quietly until Daniel joined him, and they walked out together.  Before they made it to the transportation rings, Daniel turned to him, his eyes full of pain.  "Teal'c - thank you.  For believing that there's still something left of my soul worth saving," he said softly.

Teal'c laid a hand on his shoulder.  "Now you must believe," he said to Daniel.

Jacob breathed a sigh of relief as he activated the rings, and he and Ma'at went to greet the team.  His eyebrows shot up in surprise as Jack and Teal'c brought Nefrekeptah to him.

"Nefrekeptah," Selmak said in satisfaction.  "Welcome.  The Tok'ra are pleased to have you as our guest."  He ignored the envenomed look he got in return.  "Secure him in the hold.  We'll soon be able to rendezvous at a Tok'ra outpost and transfer him into more secure quarters there."  Jack and Teal'c happily complied, ushering him off.

Sam returned her dad's smile as she came forward with Daniel.  Ma'at rushed to Daniel's arms, holding him tightly.   

"So everyone's okay and you brought back Nefrekeptah as well?  I'd say this mission was a success all around," Jacob said with satisfaction.

"You have Daniel and Thoth to thank for that," Sam said.

Jacob nodded.  "You'll be quite a hero among the Tok'ra," he said.  "I hope you don't mind a little fame."  When Thoth didn't reply, he continued.  "I know you must all be tired.  Why don't you try to get some rest?  We can talk about this later."  Before he could turn to go back to the controls, Daniel laid a hand on his arm.

"There is something you must know," Thoth said, holding Ma'at close to his side.

"That can't wait until we get to the rendezvous point?" Jacob said.

His face was grim, but he finally nodded.  "Yes," Thoth said reluctantly, holding Ma'at a little tighter.  "It can wait until then.  May we have some time alone?" he asked.

"Sure," Jacob said.  "Take all the time you want."

So you're going to turn her over to the Tok'ra? Daniel asked Thoth, as he entered the teltak's crew quarters with Ma'at and shut the door behind them.

Yes, Daniel - and I know it is ill-advised, but I want a few moments alone with her before then, Thoth said.  When Daniel was silent, he continued.  Perhaps then you will know I spoke the truth.   

Ma'at took Daniel in her arms again.  "I thought I might lose you," she said breathlessly.

"I would never leave you," Thoth said gently.  "No matter what happens now." 

"It will only be a short time before we rendezvous with the Tok'ra?" she asked.  

"Too short, I fear," he said softly, pulling away from her.

"You are right about that, husband," she replied.

Thoth looked at her in confusion.  "What did you say?" he asked, but then was silenced as she pulled a zatnikatel from her robes and fired.  

Daniel arched up, crying out in unison with Thoth as the charge shot through his body.  Trembling in pain, he collapsed against the wall, barely conscious.  He watched as Ma'at disabled the door with another blast before coming to stand over him.

"Can you speak?" she asked.

Daniel struggled to breathe, but managed a nod, and waited for Thoth to respond.  Then he realized that he couldn't sense Thoth's presence.  The charge, he thought shakily.  It must have rendered him unconscious.

"I must speak to you - quickly, before he regains control," she said.  "What are Thoth's plans?  Does he intend to betray the Tok'ra?" she asked.

"What?" Daniel managed in shock.

"Answer me truthfully," she said, her voice low and urgent.

Daniel didn't answer her, and she frowned in frustration, coming closer.  

"Why do you not answer?" she said.  "Do you fear him?  Answer me!" 

Daniel remained silent.  Outside he heard Jack hammering on the door, calling out his name. 

"Did you become Thoth's host freely?" she asked, with a glance toward the door.  "At least tell me that."

"No," Daniel answered.  "But in taking me as his host, he saved my life."

Ma'at appeared distressed by his answer.  "All of which proves nothing."

"No matter what Thoth's true motives - he does love you.  That hasn't changed," Daniel said.

Ma'at turned to look at Daniel, with a mixture of emotions in her eyes.  It was in that moment that Thoth regained consciousness, his eyes flashing furiously at her.

"What are you doing?" he cried out, as he climbed to his feet.

"By bringing me here, you have given me the chance to do something I have been longing to do," she said, holding the zat gun steadily on him.  "Did you actually think your plan would work?"

"Daniel!" Jack hollered from outside the door, renewing his pounding as Jacob and Sam worked feverishly to override the door's locking mechanism.

"You do not trust me?" Thoth asked.

"No," she said, turning a little as the door slid open and Jack and Teal'c leveled weapons at her.  "Come no closer," she said to them, the zat gun still leveled at Daniel.  "I wish I could trust you, Thoth - but your words to Sobek, to me, were quite clear."  

She turned to look at Jack.  "I have spent years wishing for the chance to tell my husband that I finally believed his words - that the Goa'uld's ways were evil - only to find out he had not truly believed them himself.  I would still like to join the Tok'ra," she said, her eyes filling with tears.  "But I must tell you that he plans to betray you."

"I am not a traitor," Thoth assured Ma'at.  "Please, Ma'at..."   

"Save your words," she said.  "You are a master of them.  But your words will not be able to save you this time, Thoth."  She turned to Jack, handing him the zat gun.  "You should restrain him," she said.

Jack motioned to Sam to take the zat gun as he went to Daniel, who held out his hands willingly as he clasped restraints on him.  Then Jack turned, and went to Ma'at, taking her hands in his and clasping restraints on her as well.

"What is this?" she asked.  "Did I not say I was pledging my loyalty to the Tok'ra?" she said, as Jack motioned for her to start walking.

"Yeah, well - so did he," Jack said, nodding toward Daniel.

Daniel awoke, looking around him in surprise.  He realized he was no longer aboard the teltak, and unrestrained.  Someone had even gotten rid of the garish robes from his trip to Mirone, leaving him clothed in the dress of the Tok'ra.  He wrinkled his brow, trying to remember what had happened.  The last thing he could recall was Jacob coming toward him...

He looked down suddenly at his chest, at the pulsing device attached to his skin.  With a careful hand, he touched it.  I've seen this before, he thought.

Jack gave him a little smile.  "Daniel," he said, clasping him around the shoulder warmly.  "And only Daniel.  Do you know how much I've missed that?"

"So Jacob..."

"He sedated you so that he could put that thing on you," Jack said.  "Apparently the Tollans think the Tok'ra are advanced enough to share their toys with," he said.

"So where are we?" Daniel asked, looking around him.

"Sorry - can't tell you that while you're..." Jack said, motioning at the device.  "Anyway, I'm actually here to tell you about Ma'at.  The Tok'ra still have their zatarc detector, so they tested her to make sure she was telling the truth about the whole 'seeking asylum' thing."  He walked to a washbasin on the other side of the room, and dampened a cloth.

"And was she?" Daniel said, swallowing hard.

"Yeah, she was," Jack said.  He watched as Daniel breathed a sigh of relief.  "Looks like the Tok'ra got their queen.  I've never seen them so happy," he finished, throwing the cloth to Daniel.  "Get that damn eyeliner off, will ya?" he said with a grimace.  "That can't be good for your complexion."

"Can I see her?" Daniel asked, as he washed off his face.

Jack looked uncomfortable.  "That's the second part of what I've come to tell you, Daniel."

Daniel grew cold as he realized what Jack was saying.  He put a protective hand on the device on his chest.  "Are you saying that Thoth..." he started.

Jack paused a moment before answering.  "They haven't tested him yet, Daniel.  They want to start as soon as possible."

"Oh," Daniel said, taking a seat.  

"Daniel, has he given you any reason to believe that he might be planning to betray the Tok'ra?  Because if he has, then that's it - we'll just separate the two of you now, and they can worry about how to prove his loyalty later.  I won't let them experiment on you."

Daniel looked away from Jack.  "I'd be lying if I said I didn't have reason to doubt him, Jack."  Before Jack could speak, he continued.  "I also have reason to believe he may be telling the truth.  It's worth the risk."

Jack obviously didn't agree, but motioned two Tok'ra guards inside with him.  "Then let's go," he said, leading Daniel out of the room.   

Jack, Sam and Teal'c watched uncomfortably as Daniel was strapped into a chair, and a Tok'ra memory recall device placed on his forehead.  Anise adjusted the machine in front of her, preparing to begin.

"If Thoth turns out to be a bad guy after all, we are going to be able to turn that thing back to Daniel's channel, right?" Jack said, as Aldwyn prepared to switch the Tollan device to allow Thoth to take control.

"We will immediately allow Daniel to regain sole control if the 'zatarc detector', as you call it, proves conclusively that he is disloyal," she said to him.

Jack cocked an eyebrow.  "'As I call it?  It has a name?" he asked.  

"Yes," she replied.

"Which is?" Jack said. 

"Complex," she replied, going to Daniel.  "Are you ready, Daniel?" Freya asked gently.  Daniel looked over once more at his team before nodding to her.  With a quick motion, Aldwyn switched the device, and Daniel closed his eyes briefly before looking up again.

"Thoth?" Anise asked.

"It is I," he said, looking around him.  He pulled gently at the straps holding his arms to the chair.  "So I gather I am to be questioned?" he asked.

"You will find our methods of questioning preferable to those of the Goa'uld," she replied. 

"So begin," he said, looking over at Jack.

"Let us start with the mission to Mirone," she said.  

Thoth recounted the mission from its start when he was first ringed down to Mirone until he was subdued aboard the teltak.  Jack felt a slow burn of anger start in his stomach as Thoth told of the interactions with Sobek, then with Nefrekeptah.  And you accused me of leading Daniel into danger, of not protecting him? he thought.

Almost as if he could hear Jack's thoughts, Thoth caught his eye, and the look he gave Jack was almost apologetic.  Almost.

"Why did you tell Ma'at that your plan was to overthrow the Tok'ra?" Anise said to Thoth. 

"I thought I could deceive her into accompanying me back to the Tok'ra.  We parted because she disagreed with my assessment of the Goa'uld's evil.  I did not expect that she would have changed her views since then."

Anise nodded, then asked another question.  "Your host, Daniel - did you tell him of your plans?"

"I told him to trust me - that should have been enough," Thoth said.

"Please answer the question," Anise replied.

"No - I did not," Thoth said.  "Not entirely."

"Why did you not confide in him?" she asked.

"I knew he would not agree with my methods," Thoth said.

"And when he found out what you were planning to do?"

"He was angry," Thoth said, glancing over to where Jack, Sam and Teal'c sat watching them.  "He attempted to stop me from what he believed was a betrayal of the Tok'ra."

"And what was your reaction?" Anise said.  Jack sat up with interest, his eyes boring into Thoth's.

"I was angry as well," Thoth said.

"Did you attempt to subdue him?" Anise asked.  

Thoth was silent for a moment.  "Yes," he finally said, trying to ignore Jack's angry glare.  

"By inflicting pain?" Anise continued.

"Yes.  That was a mistake that I very much regret," Thoth finished.

"Son of a bitch," Jack mumbled.  

"How did you get Daniel's cooperation for this mission in the beginning?"

"I tried to use the one thing we had in common - the loss of our wives - to build his trust in me," Thoth said.  

"One small difference," Jack said.  "Shar'e wasn't just sojourning at the home of a fellow Goa'uld, Thoth - she's dead," he said bitterly.

"I could tell that he had loved Sha're deeply, and that he would know how much I wanted to be reunited with Ma'at.  It was unfair of me to use this to influence Daniel, but I was desperate.  Otherwise, he would have never agreed."

"Do you plan to betray the Tok'ra?" Anise said, point blank.

"I do not," Thoth said with certainty.

Anise motioned to SG-1, who joined her in an antechamber.  "He is telling the truth," she told them.  "I believe him to be loyal to the Tok'ra."

Sam exhaled.  "That's good news."

"Any chance that little device means I can deck him without Daniel feeling it?" Jack said.

"Any harm you do to him now will most certainly be felt by Daniel later," she said, not catching the sarcasm in his comment.  "I think it is time for us to  remove the device, and allow Thoth and Daniel to interact."

"So that they can be parted once and for all," Sam said.

"Why did you go after Nefrekeptah?" Jack asked.

"Daniel wished to go after Nefrekeptah.  I did not," Thoth replied.  

Jack raised an eyebrow.  "That your final answer?" he said, looking over at the device.

Thoth sighed.  "Yes, I wanted revenge as well - but I could have waited to pursue Nefrekeptah.  Daniel's anger, his pain at what he had suffered was so great - I did not stop him, because I hoped that in destroying Nefrekeptah, he could find some peace.  I did not realize, as his friends did, that this was the wrong path for him to take."

Anise started to say something, but Jack held up a finger.  "One more.  If Daniel wants this separation, are you going to go through with it?" 

Thoth did not hesitate as he answered.  "Yes, Jack O'Neill.  If that is Daniel's decision."

"And you can live with that?" Jack asked.

"Can you live with it if he decides against separation?" Thoth asked.

Part Nine

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