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"Hi sweetie. How was school today?"
Sharon shrugged off her backpack in the hallway and went into the kitchen. There, she found her mother standing on a chair cleaning out the cupboards with some rags. "Hi mom," she said, reaching up to give her mother a hug. "School was fine. Better than expected. Need some help?"
"Oh no dear. Don't worry about it. I'm sure you have some homework to be doing anyway, right?"
"Nothing that won't take me more than a few minutes. Here, let me take that. You go take a break," she answered, taking the rag from her mother's hand and beckoning for her to come down off the chair.
"Well, if you insist," her mom answered, wiping off a little bit of sweat from her forehead. "Thanks dear. A break does sound rather good right now. Holler if you need anything. I think I'm going to go lay down for a minute."
"No problem." She watched as her mother left the room before turning back to the cupboards. For the next couple of hours, she scrubbed and cleaned the kitchen. And when she was done, she found herself nodding in satisfaction. 'Finally. Now we can maybe go grocery shopping with the house finally clean instead of having to eat out so much.' She retreated back into the living room, picked up her backpack from the hallway, and moved on to her room.
She paused in her doorway, taking in the bare, simple room. Her bed rested against one wall, her nightstand beside it with a clock, lamp, and a couple of pictures with her family and friends. Against the other wall were her desk and a couple of small bookshelves. The last corner of her room was left for her CD's and CD player, along with the beanbag chair she used whenever she just needed to relax and draw.
She headed there now to turn on some low music. Then she walked over to her desk and emptied out her backpack, placing books and notebooks onto one shelf. One look over to the clock and her watch told her that she had another good two hours to kill before they were likely to eat so she took the top book off the stack and started reading for her English class. The words blurred together in front of her, however, and she found her mind going elsewhere.
Seeing that she wasn't going to get anywhere soon with her homework, she moved from her desk to her beanbag, taking some stationary and a pen with her. Dear Kelly, she wrote after settling in.
Has it already been more than a week since I last saw you? Time has flown by on my side what with all the moving in and out and stuff, but don't get me wrong. I miss you and the others terribly. It's not fair that I had to leave so soon after all this happened. Life just seems so bleak without you around to talk to and tell all my problems to. What's been going on since I left?
How are you? Are you any better? …sigh… You don't know how bad I feel for all of this, for going so soon after you got back from the hospital, for not listening to you sooner… But I’m out now, right? And you guys are safe. And he’s finally where he belongs… Who knew that things would go this far or be this crazy? Still, as you always say, there is a point to life and what happens in it. I just have to figure out what it is, right?
So today was the first day of school. Nothing happened out of the extraordinary. I got dropped off by my stepfather. I had trouble finding my locker and ended up running into this cute guy. Before you start screaming though, I should tell you that I think he has a girlfriend already, some cheerleader. I think he's a football player. And his name is Damon. He seems super nice so far. He helped me find my locker and my first class. He and the chic I think is his girlfriend (her name's Ana) invited me to go to the welcome dance that I guess is happening tomorrow night but we'll see. They're both nice, but I don't know if I'm ready to head out into the social world yet, and besides, you know how over-protective the parentals have become ever since that incident. But if it helps, Damon's in my art class. And he sat next to me today. Wipe that smirk off your face and stop laughing K. =P Nothing's going to happen, at least not yet. I think I've had enough of taking fate into my own hands and just want to go along for the ride, at least for now.
Sharon paused and stared down at the sheets of stationary down in her lap, her pen lightly tapping the clipboard in time with the music as she thought of what to say next.
Okay, so I lied. You of all people know that I am anything but the sit around and wait for something happen type of girl. At the same time, can you blame me for being a little jumpy right now? It was certainly strange eating on my own for once during lunch. When was the last time that happened, huh? Not even in grade school was I a loner, but now? I know I wasn't helping by actually choosing to be on my own but it's the price I'm going to pay to be safe. I don't want to get hurt again, physically, emotionally… I couldn't do that to myself, much less make anyone else go through it again (aka, parental units here). It was hard enough the first time.
But watching Damon and his group of friends at lunch… Seeing them all having a good time and goofing off like we used to do… I admit that I miss the company. I know there's no rule against me having friends. That'd probably be the best thing I could do for myself right now, get new friends. The thought scares me though. Who can I trust? I don't know a single soul here – a good thing for the anonymity I'm thinking about adapting but I'm not sure if I could ever get used to or frankly want.
I know what you're thinking. Whatever happened to the Sharon you used to know, right? Heh, I think the popular, self-assured yet innocent girl got killed that night, if only figuratively. Gosh Kelly, do you think this cynicism will stay? I hope not, but the memories keep coming back. I hate it, but that's the reason anonymity looks good right now. I just don't know what to do. This holding back isn't like me at all, I know it, but I can't just be myself right now. It makes me too vulnerable. It'll put me in the spotlight – a thing we both know I crave and yet cringe away from now. Who could have thought miss popular here would ever be reduced to something like this?
Okay, I've got to stop this train of thought. It isn't exactly the most heartwarming thing you've read, I know, and I'm sorry. It's just that I've got this all pent up inside me and I need to let it out. My parents have been on edge and don't really want to talk about it and there's no one else I can trust but you to hear me out anyway. Some things can never take the place of a best friend, you know? Anyway, I think it really is time for me to end this letter as it's almost dinnertime. I guess I'll talk to you soon though, all right? Take care of yourself chica, and I'll hopefully be seeing you sometime soon.
Always,
Sharon
Sharon pulled out an envelope and sealed her letter inside. Ignoring the pain in her hand that had come from writing for so long, she forced herself to hold onto the pen just long enough to address the envelope to her best friend before sitting back and flexing her stiff fingers. She allowed herself a moment longer to close her eyes and imagine her best friend's reaction when she got the letter. A small smile formed and she sighed. 'I certainly hope things get better for all of us soon,' she thought as she stood up and made her way back out to the kitchen to help set the table.