Santa's Pee Proof Pants

'Twas the day after Thanksgiving

when at the North Pole,

The elves had been given

a special new role.

All dressed in his suit

with the Missus there too,

Santa's ole jolly self

was feeling true blue.

Sure, Christmas was great

but the lead-up was tiring.

'Twas the shopping mall tours

that had Santa perspiring.

For though he loved children

some gave him a damper,

By soaking his lap

through leaks in their Pampers.

So he turned to his elves

with much desperation,

To create a solution

without hesitation.

Try Nycron! Try Dacron! Try Gortex and Rayon!

For extra protection, use ScotchGuard brand spray on.

The elves labored and sweated

and searched for the truth,

But no mixture of fabrics

would prove piddle proof.

With Yuletide approaching

and no time for pause,

Along to the rescue, came...

(who else?) Mrs. Claus.

Using love and a needle

while humming a song,

She fashioned new britches

out of cloth from Hong Kong.

Though some elves suspected

'twas that cloth did the trick,

None doubted the Missus

had added magic.

Thus Santa received

his Christmas gift early:

Renewed confidence

and "Ho, Ho, Ho!" without worry.

As he pulled on his trousers

he cried, " To the mall !

'Tis dry pants for me

and a Merry Christmas to all ! "