I brought home my new Honda Civic dx.
I went cruising that night, but it just didn't seem fast enough
I checked the engine to make sure it was still  there...
I made sure the tires were inflated correctly..
Everything inside seemed to be alright..
So, I talked to my two boyz who  know cars; I said, "Why is my Honda so slow?
They said, "You need new bumpers; those stock bumpers aren't fast enough!
Out with the slow bumpers and in  with the new. My boyz said I didn't have to paint the bumpers, yet, and i could drive around with them only primered.
But my body shop, Backroom-Paints, said I should paint them now, so I did. Thanks, dad, for the loan.
The car seemed a little faster after the bumper swap, but still not fast enough, My boyz suggested I cut my springs
They also said get rid of the quiet exhaust and put on a fart can. So I did!
My boyz also said I should put a cold air intake in and a upperstrut bar (whatever the hell that does).
So I did
Then they said, "Side skirts, man, side skirts! And wheels!"? I said I couldn't afford all four wheels, so my  boyz said: "Get two for the rear and when you can afford it, get the other two."
So I did
Now I got all four wheels
After all that, my Honda still didn't seem fast enough
Even despite my cool Fart can exhaust
So my boyz said, "Yo man, you need racing seats that don't  match your interior!" So I got the hot red sparcos. That should make the  car fast
UH huh! They look nice
I told my boyz that all this stuff still isn't making my Honda fast, and I'm not getting the honeys. Is there anything left I can do? They thought long and hard
And one said, "I know....
STICKERSSSSS!"
YEAH! We put stickers all over the car; half on the hood  half on fender, on the windshield, rear wing, side of the car.
This thing  is going to be
FAST
AHHHHH yeah! My Honda  is fast now, I'm winning races and getting ALL the honeys
Reprinted courtesy of Jordan Price
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