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I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every
minute of it.
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The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
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*For birth control I rely on my personality
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*I give the impression of being bored, but
I’m not really. I’ve just got an incredibly boring face.
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*On my gravestone I want it to say ‘I
told you I was sick’
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*I was going to buy a copy of The Power of
Positive Thinking, and then I thought ‘what the hell good would that
do?’.
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*You know, there is something about me that
makes alot of people want to throw up
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*If it weren’t for pickpockets I’d
have no sexlife at all
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Don't worry about the world ending today...It's
already tomorrow in Australia.
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You should have hobbies. I have a large sea
shell collection, I keep scattered on all the beaches all over the world.
Maybe you've seen it?
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sushi is alright. but it would taste better
cooked
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I am confused, therefore I am
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If at first you don’t succeed try again.
Then quit, no use being a damn fool about it
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If at first you don’t succeed, try taking
nude photos of influential people in compromising positions.
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If you look good and dress well you don’t
need a purpose in life
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There go my people. I must follow them to
find out where they are going so I can lead them.
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Well, the day began this morning
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noone ever really minds seeing a friend fall
off a roof
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O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet
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At any moment I could start being a better
person-but which moment should I choose?
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May you live all the years of your life
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Health nuts are going to look stupid someday,
lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
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If your parents didn’t have any children
there’s a good chance you won’t have any
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Did you hear about the man who was stabbed
in the head? He was trying to eat with a fork
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Of course I believe in luck. How else can
you explain the success of the people you detest
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Why be normal?
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Boys I’ve got an idea. Lets fill the
screen with tits
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I am not young enough to know everything
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People hate me because I am a multi-faceted,
talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius
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Laziness is nothing more than the habit of
resting before you get tired
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Sometimes enthusiasm isn’t enough..a
hard lesson I learnt whilst willing my breasts to grow