Dear Parent(s),
I am too busy to write,but this checklist covers most of the topics of interest to both you and me.
Please Send:
_____Money (Cash!) Amount:_____
_____Food (Cookies!) Dozens:_____
_____Clean Clothes
Relationships:
_____What?
_____I am in love with myself.
_____I am in love!
_____I am engaged.
_____I got married last weekend.
My Roommate:
_____Worships the ground I walk in.
_____Gave me a black eye.
_____Commited suicide leaving a note saying I was the readon.
_____Is scared of the dark and wants to sleep in my bed!
_____Has fleas
My Professors are:
_____Sadastic water walkers.
_____Mental institution escapes.
_____Brain dead super nerds.
_____Super oxygen thieves.
_____All of the above.
Lastest News:
_____I wrecked my car.
_____I can't use your credit card because I have exceeded the credit limit.
_____You are going to have a grandchild.
_____False Alarm! You are not going to have a grandchild.
The Food:
_____Is great!
_____Even makes me appreciate your cooking.
_____I had pizza for the last eleven meals.
Grades:
_____I have all A's.
_____I am not properly challenged.
_____I will be home next semester.
I study:
_____Night and day.
_____80 hours per week.
_____All the time.
_____On Sunday afternoons only.
_____None of the above.
Daily Devotions:
_____I read the bible everyday.
_____I can't read.
_____Someone stole my bible while I was at the bar.
On my last visit home, I left:
_____My glassess.
_____My paper that was due yesterday.
_____The clothes you washed for me.
_____The check to cover my tution fees.
_____Other______________________________________________________________
Please send the above itemsby Federal Exoress (Priority One) or UPS (Blue).
Laundry:
_____My white underwear is now _______________.
_____I don't use detergent to save money.
_____Don't worry, I washed my clothes last semester.
_____I hang my clothes out on the window when it rains.
My room:
_____Can pass your "white glove" test.
_____Is only __% full.
_____Could not be located Saturday night.
_____Was rented by the ROTC for hazardous terrain training.
Parties:
_____I don't inhale.
_____I only go to meet people.
_____Haven't been to one since morning.
Hope You:
_____Miss me.
_____Can live without me.
_____Are not overdoing the celebration of my absence.
Sincerely:
_____Your Daughter
_____Your Son
_____Yours.