What happened when the cat ate a ball of wool? ~ She had mittens!
What time is it when 12 cats chase a mouse? ~ 12 after 1! 
What looks like half a cat? ~ The other half! 
What happened when the cat ate a ball of wool? ~ She had mittens! 
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? ~ A carrot! 
How do cats eat spaghetti? ~ The same as everyone else - they put it in their mouths! 
What is a French cat's favorite pudding? ~ Chocolate mousse! 
What do cat actors say on stage? ~ Tabby or not tabby (to be or not to be)! 
What's the favorite Christmas song of tigers? ~ Jungle Bells! 
How do you know if you cat's got a bad cold? ~ He has cat-arrh!
What would you call a cat that likes to dig on the beach? ~ Sandy Claws.
Which is the cats' all-time favorite song? ~ "Three Blind Mice."
What is another name for a cat's home? ~ scratch pad
How do you stop a ten-pound parrot from talking too much? ~ Buy a twenty-pound cat!
How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling? ~ She's got that down in the mouth look!
What is a cat's favorite color? ~ Purrr-ple!
Who helped Cinderella's cat go to the ball? ~ Her furry godmother!
How does a cat count? ~ One, mew, three! 
What newspapers do cats read? ~ The Daily Mews!
What happened when Santa's cat swallowed a ball of yarn? ~ She had mittens. 
What drinks milk, meows, and has eight legs? ~ An octo-puss! 
What is a cat's favorite party game? ~ Mews-ical chairs!
What did the mouse say when the cat bit his tail? ~ That's the end of me!
What is the cat's favorite TV show? ~ The evening mews! 
How is cat food sold? ~ Usually purr can!
What noise does a cat make going down the highway? ~ Miaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow!
What do you get if cross a cat with a canary? ~ Shredded tweet! 
What do you call a fat cat? ~ a flabby tabby
What do you call a very small cat? ~ An itty bitty kitty.
What is the best award a cat can earn? ~ The Purr-litzer prize.
Can anything be smarter than a cat that can count? ~ Yes, a spelling bee!
What's the unluckiest kind of cat to have? ~ A catastrophe!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree? ~ A cat-a-logue!
What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim? ~ An octopuss! 
Why did the cat join the Red Cross? ~ Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!
Why do people love cats? ~ Because they are purrrrr-fect!
What happened when the cat ate a ball of yarn? ~ She had mittens!
Why did the cat put the letter "M" into the freezer? ~ Because it turns "ice" into "mice"!
When the cat's away....? ~ The house smells better!
Why was the cat so small? ~ Because it only ate condensed milk! 
Why did the cat cross the road? ~ It was the chicken's day off!
What works in a circus, walks a tightrope and has claws? ~ An acrocat!
What do you call a cat wearing shoes? ~ Puss in boots! 
What does a cat call a bowl of mice? ~ A purrfect meal! 
What is another way to describe a cat? ~ A heat seeking missile! 
What did the cat do when he swallowed some cheese? ~ He waited by the mouse hole with baited breath!
How does a cat sing scales? ~ Do-ri-me-ow! 
What do cats like best on a hot day? ~ Mice cream!
What do you call a cat that lives at the North Pole? ~ Sandy Claws. 
What do you call a cat that sucks on lemons? ~ A sour puss!
What does a sour puss eat? ~ Crab meat! 
What happens when two cats want the same dish of food? ~ They get into a phsssssst fight!
What kind of cats purrs the best? ~ Purrrrr-sians!
Who was the most powerful cat in China? ~ Chairman Miaow!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar? ~ A sourpuss!
What did one cat say to another? ~ Have you heard the mews today!
What sport do cats play? ~ Hairball!
What do you call a loving cat bite? ~ Cat nip!
How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures? ~ They cry over spilt milk!
What do you get if you cross a cat with Father Christmas? ~ Santa Claws!
Why did the cat frown when she passed the hen house? ~ Because she heard fowl language!
What is white, sugary, has whiskers and floats on the sea? ~ A catameringue!
What do you say to your cat when you go out? ~ Have a mice day!
How do you know when your cat has been using your computer? ~ When your mouse has teeth marks on it!
What do baby cats wear? ~ Dia-purrs!
What has more lives than a cat? ~ A frogs- it croaks all the time!
What do cats read in the morning? ~ Mewspapers!
why did the cat walk in the sand? ~ was looking for Sandy Claws!
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