What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? ~ Claustrophobic!
Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants? ~ He heard the snowblower coming! 
What do snowmen eat for breakfast? ~ Snowflakes! 
Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gambel? ~ Its true....Comet cleans sinks! 
What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? ~ Crisp Cringle. 
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? ~ Missile-toe! 
What do elves learn in school? ~ The Elf-abet! 
Did you know that Christmas trees come from Hawaii? ~ Sure, haven't you ever heard the song, "O Tanning Balm"? 
Every Christmas I get sweaters that are supposed to fit me to a "T". ~ Trouble is, I'm now an "O"! 
What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month? ~ The letter "D".
What did Adam told his girlfriend on December 24th? ~ It's Christmas! Eve.
What did the guest sing at Eskimo's Christmas party? ~ ...Freeze a jolly good fellow..
What do you call a polar bear wearing ear muffs? ~ Anything you want. He can't hear you!
What do reindeer have that no other animals on earth have? ~ Baby reindeer.
What do you call a chicken at the North Pole? ~ Lost.
What kind of pine has the sharpest needles? ~ A porcupine.
Whose Christmas parties are full of screams? ~ Dracula's.
How does Mickey Mouse get around during the winter? ~ Mice skates. 
Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money? ~ In a snow bank.
What happened when Santa's cat swallowed a ball of yarn? ~ She had mittens. 
What is Santa's favorite breakfast cereal? ~ Frosted Flakes. 
What is Frosty's favorite breakfast cereal? ~ Snow Flakes.
How does Santa Claus take pictures? ~ With a North Pole-aroid camera.
Where is the best place to put your Christmas tree? ~ After your Christmas one and your Christmas two. 
What would a Japanese tourist in Alaska wear? ~ An Eskimono.
What do you call it when your Christmas tree explodes? ~ A tannen-bomb. (tannenbaum)
What is red and white and goes up and down and up and down? ~ Santa Claus stuck in an elevator. 
Why is Santa a good race car driver? ~ Because he's always in the pole position.
Who carries all of Santa's books? ~ His books elf. (book shelf)
What's red and green and guides Santa's sleigh? ~ Rudolph the red-nosed pickle.
What do you call a polar bear that steals icebergs from other polar bears? ~ An ice-burglar.
How do you know if there is a reindeer in your refrigerator? ~ The hoofprints in the butter!
Why does Santa Claus have three gardens? ~ So he can Ho-Ho-Ho.
What happens when Frosty the Snowman gets dandruff? ~ He gets snowflakes. 
What kind of food do you get when you cross a blizzard with a polar bear? ~ A brrr-grrr! (burger)
What's red and white and red and white and red and white? ~ Santa Claus rolling down a hill.
What did the sheep say to the shepherd? ~ Seasons Bleetings!  
Where did the mistletoe go to become rich and famous? ~ Holly-wood.
What does Frosty the Snowman take when he gets sick? ~ A chill pill. 
What does Santa Claus use when he goes skiing? ~ A North Pole. 
What do you call a cow in Alaska? ~ An Eski-moo. 
Why did Frosty go to live in the middle of the ocean? ~ Because snow man is an island. 
Why did the snowman pull down his pants? ~ Because he saw the snow blower coming. 
Whats happens if you eat the Christmas decorations? ~ You get tinsel-itus 
What does Dracula write on his Christmas cards? ~ Best vicious of the season 
Knock Knock Who's there? ~ Mary Mary who? Mary Christmas! 
What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas? ~ Grave-y ! 
Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake? ~ Your teeth 
What's red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas? ~ Sandy Claws. 
Why does Santa have 3 gardens? ~ So he can ho-ho-ho. 
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? ~ Frostbite. 
What's red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas? ~ Sandy Claws. 
Why does Santa have 3 gardens? ~ So he can ho-ho-ho. 
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? ~ Frostbite. 
Why was Santa's little helper depressed? ~ Because he had low elf esteem. 
What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper? ~ Ribbon hood. 
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? ~ Claustrophobic. 
What do snowmen eat for breakfast? ~ Snowflakes. 
What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas? ~ It was wound up already. 
What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month? ~ The letter "D".
What did Adam told his girlfriend on December 24th? ~ It's Christmas! Eve.
What did the guest sing at Eskimo's Christmas party? ~ ...Freeze a jolly good fellow..
What do you call a polar bear wearing ear muffs? ~ Anything you want. He can't hear you!
What do reindeer have that no other animals on earth have? ~ Baby reindeer.
What do you call a chicken at the North Pole? ~ Lost.
What kind of pine has the sharpest needles? ~ A porcupine.
Whose Christmas parties are full of screams? ~ Dracula's.