RATED PG 13 - due to the subject matter.
READING BETWEEN THE LINES
By Sheri and Kayryn Shadow
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Chakotay wasn't sure what it was that woke him up in the middle of the night. He'd gone to bed exhausted after getting back from an away mission. He slowly made his way to the replicator, doing his best not to stumble into the furniture in his half asleep state. He replicated a cool glass of water and planned on making his way back to his bed when he noticed his terminal blinking; a message was waiting for him. He sat down and saw it was from Kathryn. Burning the midnight oil again, Kathryn?, he thought as he opened the message.
His brow furrowed as he noticed it was a text message; that was unusual for her. He slowly read the message, taking in each word.
//Dear Chakotay,
having been up half the night I don't know how much of this will make any sense to you. I've been trying to sort out things in my head, but nothing really gets any clearer. I feel so restless. For months now I've been lacking peace in my soul. I feel as though I'm at war with myself. It's been like that for a long time now, and it's getting tiresome. I need to feel the peace I once had, and I only see one way of achieving it.//
Chakotay stared at the message, his mind whirling. The time read that she just sent it so he quickly threw together a message. //Kathryn, I'm up, are you okay?// He waited nervously for her reply.
After a few painstakingly long moments he got a reply.
//I wish I could be there too see Naomi in the academy, see if she will still want to be Captain. Oh, how I wish I had time to change her mind.//
Chakotay quickly typed a reply, //Kathryn, you will have plenty of time to talk to her if you want but don't be surprised if you can't change her mind. She idolizes you.//
It didn't take long for another message to arrive. //Someone should teach her better. There's nothing admirable about a woman who can't even deliver the promises she makes.//
Typing again, Chakotay sent another message, //Kathryn, I think maybe I should come over there. It sounds like you could really use some company.//
Torn between going to her right then and waiting for her next message, Chakotay ran his hand through his hair. Deciding to wait, he clenched and unclenched his fists.
//I've never been one for pain, believe it or not. But thanks to these damn computers, I don't have any other choice. Thank god for wine.//
//You're drunk.//
Again it took a few moments for her message to arrive. //Some people get drunk to kill the pain withn. Some to get drunk to kill the pain they know is to com and the smart once, we get drunk to do both.//
Bolting from his chair, Chakotay ran from his quarters to the corridor. Not bothering with asking permission to enter, he overrode her security codes and stepped inside the dimly lit room. He saw her sitting on the couch, looking beautiful with her hair down, dressed in a satin night dress. But what scared him was the blood he saw on it. He walked a little closer noticed the wine bottle in her other hand, tipping slightly but too empty to worry about spilling. Suddenly she moved as if just noticing she was no longer alone. The light reflecting from the knife in her hand caught his attention.
"Perhaps I've had too much of this, seems I've missed," Kathryn slurred, holding up the hand holding empty bottle.
Chakotay saw a small cut on her wrist. It looked superficial, but he knew what her intention had been. He walked to her bathroom and bringing the medkit he knew she kept in a closet he went back to her. Sitting close to her he watched her as she stared into her lap, into the nothingness that threatened to envelop her. He carefully removed the bottle from her hand, setting it on her coffee table then taking her hand in his, exposing her damaged wrist. He slowly ran the regenerator over the cut, watching it disappear. He then gave her a hypospray to detoxicate her and after waiting for a few seconds for it to take effect, Chakotay replaced the hypo back on the kit, before facing her again.
He saw her slowly raising her head until her eyes met his, burning into his soul. The message in them so clear, she hadn't wanted to do this but couldn't find a way out, it was up to him to show her. He could see she was afraid of him being angry at her for trying to do something like this, but at the same time she was begging him to understand. She'd felt she had no other choice.
Once the cut was healed he set the regenerator down on the table. Unsure what to say, Chakotay settled for pulling her to him and he felt her wrap her arms around him, holding him close to her as well. He knew it was all that mattered. It was a sign that Kathryn was not giving up, she's willing to try again.
The end
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