How to Build a Web Page
1. Download a piece of Web authoring software - 20 minutes.
2. Think about what you want to write on your Web page - 6 weeks.
3. Download the same piece of Web authoring software, because they have released 3 new
versions since the first time you downloaded it - 20 minutes.
4. Decide to just steal some images and awards to put on your site - 1 minute.
5. Visit sites to find images and awards, find 5 of them that you like - 4 days.
6. Run setup of your Web authoring software. After it fails, download it again - 25
minutes.
7. Run setup again, boot the software, click all toolbar buttons to see what they do - 15
minutes.
8. View the source of others' pages, steal some, change a few words here and there - 4
hours.
9. Preview your Web page using the Web Authoring software - 1 minute.
10. Try to horizontally line up two related images - 6 hours.
11. Remove one of the images - 10 seconds.
12. Set the text's font color to the same color as your background, wonder why all your
text is gone - 4 hours.
13. Download a counter from your ISP - 4 minutes.
14. Try to figure out why your counter reads "You are visitor number "-16.3
E10" - 3 hours.
15. Put 4 blank lines between two lines of text - 8 hours.
16. Fine-tune the text, then prepare to load your Web page on your ISP - 40 minutes.
17. Accidentally delete your complete web page - 1 second.
18. Recreate your web page - 2 days.
19. Try to figure out how to load your Web page onto your ISP's server - 3 weeks.
20. Call a patient friend to find out about FTP - 30 minutes.
21. Download FTP software - 10 minutes.
22. Call your friend again - 15 minutes.
23. Upload your web page to your ISP's server - 10 minutes.
24. Connect to your site on the web - 1 minute.
25. Repeat any and all of the previous steps - eternity.
26. Increase vocabulary development as things don't work.
27. Trips to doctor to get prescription for Rogaine� to replace hair yanked out of head
during entire process.
28. Decide to put a counter on your page - 5 minutes.
29. Try to connect to the server to create one - 4 days.
30. Try to get the code just right for the stupid counter - 4 hours.
31. Upload your new page with counter - 2 minutes.
32. See the stupid broken image graphic where your counter should be - 1 week.
33. Dump the counter and put one of those fake ones on your page instead - 5 minutes.
34. Sign up with Lpage Guestbooks, put links to your guestbook on your page - 2 hours.
35. Play reciprocal guestbook signing with others, and actually meet some nice people
through the guestbooks - 3 weeks.
36. Lose your complete Lpage guestbook when their server crashes - 1 second.
37. Sign up with Pergatory Guestbooks, put links to your guestbook on your page - 1 hour
(it's getting easier).
38. Contact people who signed your old guestbook to ask them to revisit your page, meet
new people via your new guestbook - 1 day.
39. Lose your complete Pergatory guestbook when it goes belly up without warning - 1
second.
40. Loop: Find most reliable FREE guestbook server and put on page - 30 minutes. (repeat
monthly)
41. Two weeks after completing your page, find three glaring spelling misteaks - 20
seconds.
