Weather

60 degrees - Californians put their sweaters on.

50 degrees - Miami residents turn on the heat.

45 degrees - Vermont residents go to outdoor concert.

40 degrees - You can see your breath
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Minnesotans go swimming.

35 degrees - Italian cars don't start.

32 degrees - Water freezes.

30 degrees - You plan your vacation in Australia.

25 degrees - Ohio water freezes
Californians weep pitiably.
Minnesotans eat ice cream.
Canadians go swimming.

20 degrees - Politicians begin to talk about the homeless.
New York City water freezes.
Miami residents plan vacation farther south.

15 degrees - French cars don't start.
Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.

10 degrees - You need jumper cables to get the car going.

5 degrees - American cars don't start.

0 degrees - Alaskans put on T-shirts.

-10 degrees - German cars don't start.
Eyes freeze shut when you step outside.

-15 degrees - You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo.
Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects.
Miami residents cease to exist.

-20 degrees - Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you.
Politicians actually do something about the homeless.
Minnesotans shovel snow off roof.
Japanese cars don't start.

-25 degrees - Too cold to think.
You need jumper cables to get the driver going.

-30 degrees - You plan a two week hot bath.
Swedish cars don't start.

-40 degrees - Californians disappear.
Minnesotans button top button.
Canadians put on sweater.
Your car helps you plan your trip South.

-50 degrees - Congressional hot air freezes.
Alaskans close the bathroom window.

-80 degrees - Polar bears move South.
Green Bay Packer fans order hot cocoa at the game.

-90 degrees - Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.

-100 degrees - Hell freezes over.
Clinton finally tells all.

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