Recipe For a Husband
Select a husband (with care) to be preserved.
Take only such varieties as have been reared in a good atmosphere, selecting a specimen neither too green or too ripe.
When once picked, let the selection be forever settled.
The specimen should not be kept in hot water by the cook nor should they be forever in a pickle. This only makes the specimen sour and bitter.
Poor varieties may be sweetened and tenderized by garnishing with a large measure of patience, and well sweetened with smiles.
Wrap in a double fold of charity.
Keep warm with a steady fire of domestic bliss and devotion.
When thus preserved, the husband will keep for years and improve with age.
