| He awoke at the first sign of sunlight filtering through the cracks in the blinds. "Dammit...I thought I closed those better than that," he muttered, as he threw the covers back and padded over to the window to adjust the blinds. He climbed back into the bed and pulled the covers up over his head. "Who the hell gets up at this hour," he asked outloud, to no one in particular. He turned onto his side and reached for her, but her side of the bed was empty. "FUCK......why did she have to leave? I shouldn't have let her go. What the hell is wrong with me? I should have just TOLD her!!! He threw the covers back off and laid there staring at the ceiling, trying to understand what had gone wrong. But, try as he might...he couldn't make sense of it. "You jackass....you love her .. why couldn't you just say it! You said everything else....but you didn't say what meant the most," he said, as he raised his arm up over his face, "and you just sat there and watched her leave!" He layed there thinking. He knew he loved her .. knew it for a long time now. Why couldn't he be like her? She came to him with her heart open...giving it to him. And, he didn't take it. He should've taken it and run like hell! She was the best thing to ever happen to him. "Three little words," he mumbled, "that's all...three little words. You feel it...why couldn't you say it asshole?" The longer he laid there the angrier he got with himself. He knew what he had to do. No matter what...he had to find her. He needed to feel her warmth .. to feel her next to him. He climbed out of bed and went into the bathroom. He turned the shower on..grabbed a towel and waited for the water to get hot. He studied himself in the mirror. "Not bad old man...not bad at all," he said. He worked out everyday, so his body was firm and defined. He had beautiful eyes...he never thought they were special, but everyone else did. He had let his hair grow, and it was now in a tangle around his face. He checked the water temperature, and climbed in....shutting the door behind him. He let the water run over him. He tipped his head back to wet his hair. The hot water felt good on his body. He let his mind wander back to her. They had made love in this shower just the day before....when she told him that she loved him. What started out as innocent kissing, quickly had turned into much more. He closed his eyes as he remembered the day before. He had pressed himself against her as he kissed her deeply. He loved to kiss her...to taste her. Before long he was hard, and seeking to enter her. He knew how her body responded, and he knew when she was ready for him. He lifted her up and settled her gently onto him. She wrapped her legs around his waist and he was able to enter her fully. She grabbed his hair as he kissed her neck and then pressed her back against the wall. With this added support, he was able to start a gentle rythymn of thrusts. As she started to moan, he could feel himself getting even more aroused as he was inside her. His thrusts became harder as she urged him on....begging him to go faster....harder. He pounded into her with an urgency he'd never known before....and as they both were reaching their peaks...he thrust one last time...hard and deep....and for the first time since they had been together, he yelled her name outloud. They held each other tightly waiting for each other to come back down. It was then that they looked into each others eyes..and she told him that she loved him. He couldn't say a word. He just held her. He loved her...he knew he did....he knew now. Why had he been so afraid?? He got out of the shower and lightly dried himself off....trying to ignore the thoughts in his head...the pain in his heart..and the ache in his groin. He went back into the bedroom and put his boxers and jeans on. He was going to find her and tell her that he loved her. He looked at himself in the mirror as he ran his hands through his hair. His mind still replaying the scene with her in the shower. Her face was so full of love...her body had responded to his every move.....why didn't he just tell her what he felt? He closed his eyes....seeing her face in front of him...feeling her body... as he ran his hands slowly down his chest. He imagined that they were her hands on him. He looked back at himself in the mirror. His body was still glistening from the shower. He stroked lightly over his nipples, imagining that it was her. He was becoming more and more aroused, and felt that he was now fully erect. He glided his hands slowly and sensually down his chest and over his abdomen... touching himself like she did. He had not yet buttoned his jeans ..so it was easy to slide his one hand into the elastic of his boxers. He gently grazed over his erection and with his other hand he pushed on his jeans and they dropped to the floor. He imagined it was her hand on his erection...and he imagined it was her hand now pushing his boxers off. He continued to gently stroke himself with one hand while the other lightly grazed across his chest. He saw her face in front of him and he imagined that his hand was hers...that he was inside her. He fit her perfectly...she was always so warm and wet .. when he made love to her...he thought he was in heaven. And, at that moment...he wasn't afraid.....he MADE LOVE to her. He had never just fucked her....it was never just sex. They made love. As the realization of this hit him...his stroking became faster. He moaned outloud as his hips started to thrust and he pushed himself harder against his own hand. He threw his head back and his breathing was becoming ragged. A light layer of sweat was forming on his body. He grasped himself firmer and thrust again. "God...please.....," he said breathlessly. "I love you....let me make.....you.........," he was talking outloud and stroking himself faster and rougher. His breathing was accented with deep moans as he called out her name again. He was becoming lost in his own feelings and sensations. His mind was full of her...he couldn't see or hear anything else...just her saying how much she loved him. He was saying her name in breathless pants. Just as he was about to bring himself to an orgasm...an empty lonely orgasm...he felt and heard something.....something that sounded like clothes rustling behind him....and footsteps..... "Let me make you what Kevin," she asked from behind him. "Let me make you feel incredible?? Let me what??" He barely had time to open his eyes when he felt her hand on his...holding his hand still...not allowing him to move. "Baby....as much as this turned me on...I don't want you to do this alone...," she said breathlessly, and she started to move his hand along with hers. "Go on Kevin....finish...let me watch you...let me help you...." she said, while never looking away from his eyes in the mirror. "I.....you're....you're.....oh god....you're here," he whispered in between deep moans. She continued to hold her hand over his as he thrust against it unable to stop himself. "Kevin....I heard you....," she whispered against his shoulder, while gently taking off the rest of her clothes. Her breath hot against his skin. "Tell me .....tell me now...I'm here....say it to me." He was losing his control. He knew he was going to be lost in his own passion soon...but he wanted to be inside of her. He wanted her to FEEL his love. He pulled his hand free and spun around, gasping when he saw her naked in front of him. He cupped her face in his large hands, and started to walk her backward to the bed. "I love you with every fiber of my being. I want to love you....let me make you feel incredible...let me love you. I want to make you scream out my name...I want to take care of you....I want to please you....," he whispered to her between kisses. As he was stammering out his profession of love, he picked her up and layed her gently on the bed. He spread her legs open with his knee and as he was about to enter her he looked her in the eyes, placed her hand on his heart and said, "I love you....don't ever leave me again.......just stay with me...and I'll spend the rest of my life loving you......" She lifted her hips to meet his and said, "Kevin.....I love you....I won't leave you .. just love me...now Kevin now....show me how much you love me." With this invitation...Kevin entered her slowly and gently..with such a tenderness that it made her cry. "I'll show you.... now," he said as he thrust into her. "I'll show you...... later...I'll show you........ tomorrow....and for the rest of my life," he said, thrusting into her with each declaration. "I'll make you feel incredible...." "Look at me baby....," he asked gently, "I want you to see what you do to me." She opened her eyes..and her brown eyes searched his face. He was truly beautiful to her. The flush of his cheeks, his hair falling around his face. She reached up and took his hair in her hands, pushing it back from his face. His eyes....they were deep green and filled with passion. But, she saw something else there....his love. His eyes showed his soul to the world..and now they were showing her his love. With one hard thrust he lifted them both where they'd never been. "Kevin.....I love you," she said breathlessly, "take me with you now....please...." He locked eyes with her and with one last powerful push against her...he sent both them soaring over the edge. He held her tightly, and whispered, "I love you.....I always have.....and I always will." |
| TIME SPENT ALONE |
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