Title: Sudden realization

Author: Kayjay

Rating: PG-13 (for the F___ word and the s__ word)

e-mail: [email protected]

Spoiler: Fair Haven , kind of a post-ep

Archive: anywhere, just tell me where please,so I can go and have a look. ;)

Disclaimer: If they were mine they'd be a LOT happier!!! ;)

Authors Notes: Many thanks for more or less constructive criticism goes out to my RL friend Evi , who tells me this is just a bit too *fluffy*.

More thanks go to AmandaRose who betaed this piece for me and gave a very encouraging opinion!! ;)

This is for my fav pond of JetC 22, where nearly all of us expressed our dislike of Michael Sullivan...

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Chakotay was lying on his bed staring unseeingly at the ceiling.He had actually just told Kathryn to go ahead and have sex , even a relationship, with a fucking hologram! He knew why she had 'asked' him...she didn't want to feel guilty for indulging in pleasure with someone else, even if it was a hologram.He just hoped that she would notice that it just wasn't the same as with a flesh and blood man! Suddenly his door chime sounded.

"Come"

Stepping through the door was none other than the object of his affection: Kathryn Janeway herself. She looked kind of undecided,almost shy, which was so out-of-character for her that Chakotay was instantly alert and curious.

"Hey Kathryn...umm, what can I do for you?" he asked.

She actually shuffled her feet before answering.

"I wondered if I could talk to you...about Michael?"

Chakotay gulped.He fervently hoped he didn't have to do more convincing, because he was not sure he could.

"Uh...yeah,sure...sit down."

Kathryn hesitantly sat down next to him, finally looking into his eyes.What Chakotay saw in them let his secret hope flare to strong life again.He patiently waited for her to begin.

"I..I couldn't do...it"

She blushed a little, but Chakotay could see her forcing herself to continue.

"I kissed him and we touched, but...as it started to progress further,like you suggested, I couldn't do it. I kept seeing...you, Chakotay. I kept imagining your hands on my body and suddenly I realized how very stupid I was all these years! I could have had you in my life, but I was so blinded by protocol that I didn't admit my feelings for you even to myself.But when that hologram touched me I knew I wanted it to be you.I know now who I want to spend the rest of my life with...that is if you still want me?"

At this last question she looked up at him.Chakotay had never seen her look quite this fearful, even after facing down the Borg and species 8472. He saw tears gather in her eyes and hastened to reassure her.

"I...oh Kathryn...of course I still want you! I told you I would wait! I'm just a little overwhelmed!...come here."

He leaned over to her and tenderly embraced her. They kissed for the first time before snuggling up on the couch, laughing and talking long into the night.

(Happy) End