Title: Love In Candlelight.
Author: Inga
Rating: *enemenemu, und raus bist du!* this time its definitely 'R', I
guess. :-)
Codes: J/C (Voyager)
Date: 25.4.01
Disclaimer: The characters belong to paramount but the cave, the
candlelight, and everything else belongs to me!
Summary: Voyager urgently needs new dilithium. The Captain insists of going
down to the planet on her own, but eventually Chakotay gets sent with her.
'Unfortunately' Voyager isn't able to beam them up again for another 24
hours...so, what to do???
Author's note: this story goes to Kath who was that nice to check the
spelling and grammar:-)
Love in candlelight.
"Away team to Voyager, we found the dilithium and are ready to beam up."
"Understood, Captain."
Tuvok tapped his commbadge.
"Tuvok to transporter room 2. Beam the Captain and the Commander up."
"Yes, sir." came the reply.
~~
~~
~~
Two days previously, Voyager had run out of dilithium and were, so to speak, dead in
space. The ship's systems were running on minimum and the warp-drive was offline.
Luckily on the third day they found a planet, which seemed to be rich in
Dilithium, but they couldn't be sure of actually finding any, because most of it seemed
to be underground and the atmosphere on the planet made it impossible to
beam it up from there. Voyager finally located a place in a mountain area where the dilithium seemed to be nearer the surface than in any other place.
The Captain wanted to check the place out herself but was stopped by various
protests of her bridge crew. Eventually they decided to send Chakotay with her.
~~
~~
~~
Well Commander, thanks for all your help but as you can see, we didn't
encounter any kind of problem and we are safely on our way back.
I could have done this well on my own." Kathryn Janeway was standing in front of her first Officer, arms stemmed on her hips, head up and eyes locked on the Commander's face.
Chakotay only smirked. He understood that she needed to have the last word. That was just how Kathryn was.
They stood there for a few minutes, waiting for the by now well known
sensation of the transporter beam, but nothing happened.
"Janeway to Voyager. What's going on?"
Tuvok's voice came delayed and broken with static out of her communicator.
"Captain... problem with... energy offline...will not be able to... beam you up...
for twenty-four hours...--sssssssssp"
The connection was interrupted by a horrible noise. Janeway made a grimace and only with great effort of mind, didn't rip the communicator off her uniform and throw it in the next bush.
"Well, Commander. I didn't get everything, but it seems that we will have to
find shelter for the night. I understood that we will be here for at least twenty-four more hours. We should prepare ourselves for that. Let's make ourselves comfortable."
Chakotay nodded. "Aye, aye, Captain, but I don't think we should go further up the mountain. It's getting pretty cold..."
"Agreed." And with that she headed down the mountain. Chakotay just followed her.
After two or three minutes walking Chakotay stopped. Confused Janeway turned
around.
"What is it? Something wrong?"
Chakotay pointed to the sky. "Looks pretty bad up there. I think we should double our efforts to find shelter somewhere near by. Looks like heavy rain..."
Now it was Janeway's turn to nod. They both went in the direction Chakotay had pointed out would be the best way to get down as quickly as possible. The wind got stronger and stronger. Eventually they had to crawl along the path when it got too windy to stand upright.
"Kathryn!" Chakotay shouted but Kathryn couldn't hear him. The wind was too loud. He tried to catch up on her and eventually got hold of her right leg. She turned round.
"What?"
Chakotay couldn't hear what she was saying even though he was right next to
her, but he saw her asking face. Because shouting didn't seem to work, he pointed to a little, what seemed to be, near by cave. Kathryn understood and nodded.
Together they crawled in the direction of the cave. Chakotay tried to hold Kathryn as tight to him as possible but when the storm got even stronger, the form of the feather-light Kathryn was blown off the little 'path' they were on and rolled down the hill.
Chakotay realized quickly what was happening and jumped after her. Kathryn banged her head on a stone and fell unconscious. Fortunately Chakotay managed to grip her left arm and save her from falling into the abyss next to them. With strength he didn't know he had, he pulled her upwards to him. Kathryn moaned slightly but didn't move. Chakotay wrapped his arms around her waist and tried to get a firm hold on her. Then as if in slow motion, he crawled back onto the path. Somehow he managed to reach the little cave safely with Kathryn in his arms. He crawled to the very back of the cave.
Hardly any wind was reaching the back wall where he bedded Kathryn down, but
it was getting very cold and he had to wake her up to rescue her from letting her own body temperature drop too low. He stretched her out on the floor and gently shook her.
"Kathryn? Wake up Kathryn! I need your help on this one!"
She moaned again and Chakotay could see her eyes moving underneath her
eyelids. She was fighting to open her eyes.
"Chakotay," came out of her, in a husky voice. "What happened?"
She looked straight into his eyes. Chakotay stroked her cheek and Kathryn, thankful for the physical contact, leaned into his palm.
"You were blown off the path and nearly fell into the abyss. I could hold you
though, but you banged your head pretty badly. Glad you're with me
again." He smiled.
She smiled back at him and for a moment they just looked at each other,
passing a secret message only they knew to understand between them. Kathryn
was the first to break eye contact.
"Well, I guess we have to figure a way to warm it up in here and arrange the
sleeping arrangements. Not much space here, is there? How about you get a
fire going?" She smiled by her own words, knowing only too well what he was thinking
about.
"Aye, aye, Captain. But I guess this time I won't be able to use your hair, now will I?!" She giggled which seemed absurd in their situation but couldn't help it by the memory of Chakotay trying to make a fire a few years previously.
"Indeed. There are some dry leaves lying around, why not using them?" Chakotay shock his head.
"No, I guess that wouldn't help much. Kathryn, please help me to carry a few
rocks to the entrance of the cave to keep the storm out and then we can put three or four in the middle of the cave, which we will light up with a phaser. That should give us a bit warmth-" He paused. "At least for now..." Kathryn finished his unspoken thoughts.
He nodded. They both knew that they were still too far up on the mountain and how cold it would get by night. But for now they had to block the storm out, which brought most of the cold wind in.
In silence they worked next to each other. Finally Chakotay lighted the stones in the middle of the cave. They then both sat down, knees drawn to chin, at the back wall where it was warmest in the whole cave.
For a long while they just sat there. Neither wanted to be the first to suggest the unavoidable. Obviously they had to keep each other warm to get through the cold night.
Eventually Kathryn broke the silence.
"Well, I am getting a bit tired. How about me lying on the left and you on
the right hand side of the fire?"
Chakotay silently nodded. He knew that they would have to share body heat when it got too cold, but also knew that pushing Kathryn wouldn't help. She had to make her own decisions at her own pace.
He stood up and went to his side of the fire, Kathryn to the opposite. Automatically she lay down facing the wall, whereas Chakotay kept looking over to her. He knew she was freezing but if she wouldn't make any attempt at showing such to him, he wouldn't dare go over to her.
They lay there like this for over one and a half hours. Chakotay couldn't fall asleep because the cold was tearing at him. He guessed that Kathryn was still awake. From time to time she turned round but then seemed to remember that she would be facing him by doing so and quickly turned back, yet she was constantly shivering.
Eventually Chakotay couldn't stand it any longer, stood up and went over to her. Surprised by his actions Kathryn looked up. Without a word Chakotay lay beside her and gently pressed her small shivering body to his. At the first moment Kathryn seemed shocked and tried to bring a little distance between them, but he held onto her.
"No, Kathryn! You know as well as I do, that we have to do this. Please,
just trust me" he whispered gently but firmly into her ear.
Slowly Kathryn turned round to face him. Their noses were almost touching, they were that near. She could feel his breath on her face. After locking eyes once more this day she slowly nodded. Still shivering but a bit warmer than before, she leaned into him, resting her face on his chest.
Chakotay was touched by the total trust she had in him by letting her Captain mask down for one night. He knew that they just had to do this. Unfortunately his body responded in its own way to the resting Kathryn on his chest. He didn't mean to make her feel even more uncomfortable with the whole situation than she felt already but couldn't do anything abut the effect she was having on him.
He knew that Kathryn was realizing. Still she didn't move. Chakotay put his arms around her and buried his face in her hair, smelling the scent of the woman he respected and loved. With the feeling of Kathryn in his arms he drifted off to sleep.
In the middle of the night he woke up to the feeling of someone turning in his arms and a quiet moan. Chakotay tried to turn round but something in his arms was stopping him.
Slowly he opened his eyes and was more than surprised to see Kathryn in his arms.
A quiet smile appeared on his face as the memories came back to him, but something, he realized, was not quite right. Kathryn was stirring in his arms and seemed somehow restless as if being haunted by nightmares. Chakotay grew seriously worried.
Carefully he set up to get a better view of her. What he saw shocked him. Kathryn's lips were dark blue; her eyelids were fluttering as if trying to escape something. Her hands were drawn to fists. Her entire small body was shivering. With horror Chakotay looked at her.
"Gods, Kathryn!" he whispered. He remembered at that very moment what Starfleet survival training suggested in a situation like theirs. It was best to share body heat, which they were already doing, but he forgot, or rather, didn't want to think about, how they were supposed to share their body heat.
He barely remembered one of his survival trainers telling him in his few years in Starfleet, that it's best if the people concerned are sharing body heat with as little clothing on as possible.
Chakotay didn't dare to suggest it earlier when everything seemed to work out well like this, but the sight in front of him told him that it was necessary.
"Kathryn! Kathryn, wake up!"
Kathryn stirred a bit and moaned again, but didn't wake up as told.
"Kathryn, can you hear me? You've got to wake up!"
She moaned a bit louder this time but still didn't show any signs of awaking. Chakotay gently slapped her face and shook her slightly.
"Kathryn, will you wake up!"
Slowly she opened her eyes, which were looking at him in great confusion.
"Chakotay?"
He gave a sigh of relief.
"I'm glad you woke up. That was a pretty big shock to me." He smiled at her, and was thankful to receive the same in return. "We have to do something or you'll freeze to death on me."
Kathryn nodded. Of course she knew what was best to do in a situation like theirs. She had been told so, nearly every day as young cadet. She was pretty sure that Chakotay knew as well, even though he hadn't been in Starfleet as long as she was. But she knew that he had been an excellent student in the time he had been there.
She nodded slowly and started by removing her boots, making it easier for Chakotay, in that he didn't have to explain what he meant. Her hands were shivering and it made it hard for her to grip her shoes. Chakotay saw that she understood and started to remove his clothing as well.
He was freezing like hell when he had finished. For a brief moment he thought about the last morning on Voyager when he decided to wear boxer shorts, but that thought left as quickly as it appeared when he looked over to Kathryn. She hadn't come really any further since he last looked over to her. She had removed her boots and her uniform blazer, but seemed to have trouble with her turtleneck and trousers. Silently Chakotay went over to her and helped her, slipping her out of her clothing. After a minute or so she was sitting in only underpants and bra in front of him, shivering like Chakotay himself.
"I suggest we use our clothes as blankets" Chakotay said into the cold that was literally unbearable by now.
"Agreed" Kathryn said in the best captain's voice she could manage. Chakotay
understood. In their situation she needed to keep control, needed to be the
Captain. Silently he took her hand and guided her over to the fire, staying as close
to her as possible, to keep her warm. Kathryn lay down by the fire, Chakotay following her example and putting their clothes as blankets over them both. For a while they were just lying next to each other, looking one another in the eyes.
"Thanks" Kathryn said eventually and broke the tension that was building between
them.
"Anytime" Chakotay simply answered and had to smirk as he realized the double meaning in his words.
Kathryn smiled as well and pressed closer to him as a cold shiver overcame her. Chakotay swallowed. He was sure that Kathryn MUST be able to feel the effect she had on him. Briefly he closed his eyes. When he opened them again he found Kathryn still staring in his face.
"Chakotay?"
"Hmm?" Chakotay was stunned for a moment. A sudden shadow crossed Kathryn's
deep-water blue eyes, and it seemed, just for a second, that she made a decision that would change her life. A right decision. Never taking her eyes off him, her head came closer. Slowly, ever so slowly, her lips touched his. For Chakotay a dream came true at that very moment!
The whole world didn't matter anymore, the cold didn't matter, that they were stuck in a far too small cave didn't matter, the only thing that mattered to him right at that moment, was the woman in his arms who had his heart, his soul, the very being of him, taken for herself and generously offered to share.
Kathryn opened her mouth slightly, inviting him in. He was more than thankful for that gesture. Slowly he started to explore her lovely mouth with his tongue. She tasted like heaven to him; in fact this was how heaven had to be. Without her, heaven would be hell he thought, and thanked whoever was to thank for this happening.
Chakotay's hands began their own exploration around her body, the cold forgotten. Even Kathryn, who had been shivering like anything just a minute ago, was now warm where Chakotay's hands touched. Chakotay was stroking back and forwards over her backside.
Quietly Kathryn moaned into his mouth.
It was probably the hardest thing ever to do, but Chakotay knew if he didn't stop now he would never be able to. Slowly he drew back and looked into Kathryn's eyes.
"Kathryn," he started but stopped when he saw the self doubt that was now visible on
her face.
"No, Kathryn! Listen to me. You don't know how often I have dreamed of this, how many nights I woke up, sweating, crying, because you weren't with me. Kathryn, you are all I ever wished for. Never doubt that!"
She nodded slowly but had still a confused look on her face.
"Kathryn," Chakotay started slowly, stroking her cheek. "You mean far too much to me. I would never use you in a situation like this. You can't imagine how many times I thought about our first lovemaking. But that's exactly what I want it to be. I don't want just sex with you, Kathryn. I want to make love to you, and you to me."
He locked eyes with her once more, making sure she understood. Her hand came up to his face drawing the outline of his tattoo.
"I understand, Chakotay" she said eventually. "I love you too, even though I never told you. I dreamt about us as well. Us making love. Together. As one. In candlelight..." Her voice trailed off. They were looking into each other's eyes for long moments, forgetting everything else. Then, what seemed to be an eternity later, Chakotay broke the silence.
"Kathryn, when we get back, let me be yours. Let me give you everything I have. You've already stolen my heart and my soul; let me give you my body as well. Let me make love to you in candlelight like you dreamt. Don't withdraw from me again as soon as we get back. Let us be one. Forever."
He was looking with such a love glowing in his eyes that Kathryn cried
silent, but happy tears.
"You have my word" she answered as a silent message with her eyes.
Chakotay smiled and drew her to him.
Like this they fell asleep. Chakotay holding Kathryn, one hand on her back the other in her hair. This was the beginning of a new life for them both. This was what life was really about. Like this it should be from now to forever...
The cold, forgotten by both of them, made itself on its way, silently leaving the two lovers alone with their dreams about making love in candlelight...
The End
Back to Fanfiction Page
Back to Voyager Page
Back to Main Page