POETRY
You see me as different,
I do things that look odd,
That look absurd,
Yet we are both the same.

Two hands, two feet,
I too have them.

Although we both,
Can hear the drumming of our heart.

I know I have one,
But I start to wonder,
If you really do.

C.W.O.
June 14th 2000
Silent Victim

The silent victim,
Awaits the everlasting sentence.
Lost within the darkness,
Of the pure white stone tears.
Freedom, trapped,
Behind the bitter bars of faith.
Along the tormented walls,
Creeps a speck of dirt.
Thunder,
Screaming out to the world.
As the everlasting victim,
Silently awaits its sentence.
The torturing ticking,
Of the hours of darkness.
Lost,
Within innocence.
The silent victim, long gone,
Is set free.

C.W.O.
October 3rd 1999
What OCD feels like to me.
Please do not take any of these poems before asking permission. Thank you.
What I [we*] wish would happen.

*fellow OCD-ers
I want to

I want to go
I need to go
I don't

I want to hear
I need to hear
I can't

I want to talk
I need to talk
I don't

I want to see
I need to see
I can't

In the end
It's just alone me.


C.W.O.
August 7th 2000
The road taken

The wheels below me,
Carrying a weight upon the road.
The smooth curves,
Along the jagged road,
Split at the crack of dawn.
A darkened hole,
A hidden world,
Where do I go.
Beyond, behind,
I don't know,
Where to go,
Who to be,
Who to please,
Who to ease.
Scars tormented with,
Never healed,
Within the darkened hole.
The bittering truth,
Telling tales drawing tears,
Captured in the hidden world.
Tears and scars are part of me,
What road takes me to my destiny.
Truth and tear,
Scar and sorrow?


C.W.O.
August 7th 2000
All I know

All I know is,
Nobody will ever understand.
They do not know the thoughts of terror,
The feelings of complete helplesness and hopelesness.
They are strangers to the desserted and abandoned loneliness,
For they are "normal" and I am not.

They will never understand the bitter pain,
Caused by neglection and unsupportiveness.
They don't accept that I am different,
For they are "normal" and I am not.

I know,
That I have odd behavior,
But that doesn't give them the right to torture me.
The sorrow and guilt they don't have to feel,
For they are "normal" and I am not.

The tenderness of my soul,
Is an invitation for them to trample on it,
For they are "normal" and I am not.

They don't cry like I do,
For they are "normal" and I am not.


C.W.O.
August 7th 2000
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Some great OCD links:
A lost soul

On that wooden chair,
A girl lonely and confused.
Her hair as soft as silk,
Her face as sweet as sugar.
Yet beneath that all,
A heart with fear.
Hands as raw as coal,
Eyes with an inane glare.
Her hands hidden in her sleaves,
Her mind continuesly occupied.
Nobody understands her rituals,
The ones she has to do.
But this little girl isn’t crazy,
She’s frightened and lost.
Alone in the world,
With nobody to give her a caring smile.
A shoulder to cry on,
Or simply an understanding soul.
C.W.O.
April 7th 1999
"?"

My soul,
A prison full of criminals?
Each day,
One step further than before.
My mind,
Like the sun sinking in the sea?
Drowning,
Over and over again in the tears.
My heart,
A desert full of sand.
Without any trees,
To breathe on.
My soul, my mind, my heart,
Lost in the ocean,
Like a little drop of water.

        C.W.O.
              March 29th 1999
What do you see?

You look at me,
A face muddled and confused.
Saying I do not look the same,
But you don’t know why.

The world coming down on me,
Color quickly vanishing.
A tortured look,
A tormented tear.

You cannot see my sorrow,
It’s appearance you focus on.
You cannot see my soul,
Which you so carefully ripped apart.

The black foul ground,
Surrounding my grave.
A lonely blackened rose,
Layed upon it.

The way you look,
Is not of understanding.
You cannot see my fear,
You cannot feel my misery.

My face covered by a mask,
Hiding away reality.
The truth I know,
But cannot get hold of.

You see a person,
A smile printed on her face.
Look in her eyes,
And see the emptiness.

Though you say I am free,
I am trapped.
Among the hidden rubble,
Too much to be removed.

You see,
Innocence as black as snow.
You see it,
But you do not understand.

A solo tear,
Falling into emptiness.
Lost within the darkness,
Never to see light again.

You see it,
But you don’t.
I see it,
But I won’t.
C.W.O.
September 2nd 1999
Gone

Sitting on the cold mucky sand,
Staring at the horizon and beyond.
The stars reflections bouncing on the waves,
Running away then being grasped and captured.

Suddenly,
The rain starts to pour, the wind starts to blow.
I turn around and face a darkened soul,
Slowly crumbling away before my eyes.
I turn again and there I see,
The tree succumb by all the weight.
It is invisible, yet it’s there,
For no other soul to see but me.

Suddenly,
My heart deserted.
The freedom I never had,
So close for me to grab.
I turn my head and see it go,
Surrounded now by darkness and closure.
The smile I had once created,
Lost in the everlasting darkness of the world.

Suddenly,
The stars vanish, the clouds tear apart.
As I crumble away,
Beneath the heavy weight of torture.
C.W.O.
January 24th 1999
my fun page
Last Updated on
May 12th 2005
What are Obsessions and Compulsions?
Obsessive-compulsive disorder is often the subject of jokes
because the people suffering from it often have bizar ways of
compulsive rituals. The outside world is very harsh, they judge
you, hurt you, they don't understand or accept that these
OCD'ers cannot help but act that way. The public assumes you
are crazy or are a jack nichols [in "as good as it gets"] maniac… believe it or
not people actually call you that. It is sad really for those people out there in the
world who think it is so funny to torture sufferers…let them experience it for a
week…they'll shut their mouths after that!!!  :-)>

Despite the stereotypes, OCD is no laughing matter. OCD is a
biologically-based anxiety disorder that often begins in childhood.
OCD is characterized by obsessions, compulsions, or both.
Obsessions are unwanted thoughts or images that repetitively
intrude into the mind, while compulsions are rituals that lead to
repetitive habits or behaviors, which an individual has to carry
out in order to reduce discomfort and anxiety. Both the
obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors are usually
recognized as unrealistic or irrational by OCD sufferers, but
typically, they feel powerless to stop either.

Many people believe OCD'ers can "just" stop their behavior if only they would try harder,
something that is very frustrating to hear over and over again because it really does not
work like that. If it were that simple it would have been called "annoying disorder" because
that
is something you can just stop doing... being annoying!!!
Welcome to my world
HI,
I AM A 23 YEAR OLD GIRL CURRENTLY LIVING IN THE NETHERLANDS. I LOVE TO WRITE POEMS AND STORIES, IF I AM NOT WRITING YOU CAN FIND ME NO LONGER IN THE GYM DOING GYMNASTICS BECAUSE I AM INJURED....

I SUFFER[ED] FROM OCD [OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE-DISORDER] AND SOCIAL PHOBIA. OTHER THAN THAT I ENJOY HELPING PEOPLE AND LEARNING SOMETHING NEW EVERY DAY.
HOPE YOU LIKE MY PAGE...

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my poetry page
10 SIGNS THAT YOU MIGHT BE OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE
Created by S. Michael Pettey

1.
When you come home from the grocery store, you wash off all the canned goods.

2. 
When you finish taking a shower, you towel dry the inside fo the shower.

3. 
You are a preferred customer of lava hand soap.

4.
Your child's toybox is arranged in alphabetical order according to the last name of the toy
     preceded by the purchase date followed by the virtual mass of the object.

5.
Your bank calls you and asks for help in an accounting discrepancy from 1979.

6.
Your house includes an underground irrigation system to water pots & plants.

7. 
You've mastered wall climbing and rapelling in order to dust the ceiling fan.

8. 
You attend the annual convention for Windex glass cleaner to discover the latest techniques       in avoiding streaks.

9. 
Mr. Clean gave you his hoop earring.

10.
You yell at your wife for using your car mirrors to apply make-up. After all, your mirrors
     must be perfect to detect all potential blind spots.
my dutch site
mijn nederlandse pagina
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Don' t ever forget;
You are NOT alone
The World of OCD
PLEASE DO NOT FEEL OFFENDED. THAT IS NOT THE INTENTION OF THIS PIECE!!!
my quote page
More to come soon..................many sites are down.......
AS I HAVE PRETTY MUCH "CONQUERED"  MY OCD I HAVEN'T UPDATED THIS SITE TOO MUCH...BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO DELETE IT EITHER..
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