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Wes (AKA Wes K) has spent most of his life trying to grasp the concept of time zones. "It's like... here it's 3:00, but someplace else it's not", he tells us as he stirs his chicken chow mien. When he's not studying the inlinearities of chronology, he can be found training for the title of "Person Who Likes Ham the Most", unfortunately while we interviewed him, he met someone who indeed liked ham more than he did. We asked him what he was gonna do next, "umm... I'm gonna make some chocolate milk". This wasn't the first time Wes's dreams had been crushed. When he was 12 his sister kicked him in the stomach and ruined his dreams of being a professional belly button model. In retaliation he taped M-80's to the head of her cabbage patch and quote, "Blew its fucking mind". In the late 80's, Wes' dreams changed again when he realized he wanted to raise and cultivate tiny microscopic hens, capable of laying eggs 1/28th the size of normal eggs. His reasoning? "I could egg cars on the night before Halloween, and it would look like a tiny bird crapped on the car". There still has been no updating on his attempts at this, but the cars in his neighborhood always seem to be targets of "tiny sparrows". Wes has grown mentally and spiritually since those sorrowful times. He's now an avid follower of the "sacred congregation of frosted flakes" and practices communion every morning. |
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