Pull of Destiny

*(8/9)

By Sakata Ri Houjun

 *******************

The weather was warmer now, but the rain was still falling.  Chichiri 

looked around him as the sidewalk was slowly deserted.  He saw a 

couple kissing, different guy with the same girl from his class, as 

they sought shelter underneath the eave of a building.  Chichiri felt 

a stab of pain shoot through his heart at the sight and quickly 

turned away.

It had been a month since Tasuki had left yet the emptiness in his 

heart still wouldn't ease.  Despite the differences in how their 

lives were spent this time around, History still managed to repeat 

itself.

Now what?  It was the question that had plagued his heart ever since 

that night.  He had finished his school and already gotten a job 

offer.  If he accepted, he'd have to move but he didn't want to leave 

this city just yet.  In case...in case...

But if the past was any indication, he'd never see the man he loved 

ever again.  It was just false hope that ate away at his soul, bit by 

tiny bit.  If only he had allowed himself o love Tasuki instead of 

clinging to painful memories.

He laughed bitterly as he stopped and looked up to see the neon sign 

of a bar flicker into existence.  He hadn't had a drink in a long 

time and it might make him feel better.  Cigarette smoke and heavy 

alcohol welcomed him as he entered and found an empty stool.

Chichiri ordered a stiff drink, something stronger than he was used 

to.  But he wanted to get drunk as soon as possible.  After three 

hours, he felt pleasantly buzzed and decided to go home.

As he staggered through the wet street, he began singing a song he 

knew from his past life, not really caring if he was messing up on 

the words.  He never heard the footsteps approaching quietly from 

behind.

Suddenly, an arm snaked around his chest, pulling him back against a 

broad body.  A knife was pressed against his throat, the sharp edge 

gently nicking the skin.  Chichiri just stared dully ahead, tears 

now streaming down his cheeks as he recalled how Tasuki had died.  He 

smiled at the irony.

"Don't move or I slit yer throat," a rough voice rasped in his ear.

"Go ahead," Chichiri whispered and then laughed abruptly.  "I deserve 

to die again.  Draw that blade across my throat and kill me!"

The stranger blinked, a little confused and loosened his hold on 

Chichiri.  "Are ya crazy?"

Chichiri laughed again and reached up to grab the man's forearm, to 

press the blade closer to his skin.  The man dropped the knife and 

back away from the former monk as he turned around.

"Why can't you give me that final release?" he wailed as he closed 

his eyes.  His sorrow and anguish flared, fueled by the love he would 

never experience again, and he felt a barrier within him snap almost 

audibly as he sank to his knees, hands covering his face.

The stranger backed away another step, eyes widening in fear as a red 

glow suffused his intended victim.  "What are you, man?"

Chichiri removed his hands, oblivious to what was happening to him, 

and he looked at his would-be attacker.  His eyes glazed over as he 

smiled.  "A failure.  A disgrace.  That's what I am."  He laughed 

once more and the man ran for his life.

The former monk looked down at his hands then, the red glow beginning 

to die away.  He blinked at this and then looked up into the night 

sky.  The rain had stopped  and the clouds parted just enough to let 

the stars shine through.  Chichiri's eyes widened as he saw the 

constellations of his friends, twinkling brightly.  And his...he 

could see his star, brighter than any of the others.

At that moment, he felt a tug on his soul.  He wanted, needed to go 

home all of a sudden.  Standing up, he began walking to his apartment.

He unlocked the main door and climbed the stairs, feeling the pull 

grow stronger with each step.  It was as if something, or someone, 

was calling him.  He fit the key to the lock on his apartment door 

only to finally notice that it was partially open.  He took a step 

back, scared to a moment to enter the dark room.  However, the 

feeling wouldn't let go and he stepped past the doorframe.

Within the shadows, a match was lit with a sharp hiss.  The 

flickering flame cast light upon a youthful yet haggard face.  A pair 

of golden eyes watched Chichiri, much like a wolf's, only sadder 

somehow.

The older man felt his face break into a relieved smile as he 

recognized the man before him.  He understood the meaning behind the 

pull he had felt earlier.

Tasuki smiled back as he waved out the match with a flick of his 

wrist.  "Told you I knew how to pick locks.  How have you been?"

Chichiri reached over to turn on the lights and then blinked back at 

the brightness.  He was still a little drunk and could feel the 

beginnings of a hangover.  Tasuki snickered.

"Never could hold your alcohol, could you?"

Chichiri put down his hand and shook his head, unable to find his 

voice.  Tasuki's eyes widened as he noticed the small cut on his 

friend's neck and the dried blood.  He covered the distance between 

them concern overriding everything else.

"What happened?"

Chichiri reached up and touched the cut.  He laughed nervously.  "I 

almost go my throat slit in an alleyway."

Realization spread over Tasuki's face and he pulled the former monk 

into his arms.  "Oh, gods.  I wish I could have stopped this."  He 

leaned down and pressed his lips against the tiny nick before 

suddenly letting go.

Chichiri watched his friend in confusion as the former bandit looked 

away in embarrassment.  "What's wrong, Tasuki?"

"I forgot.  You said we couldn't...," he trailed off and turned 

around.

Chichiri smiled and felt his heart race.  Tasuki hadn't forgotten 

what had been said, but it didn't matter.  Chichiri had finally 

learned form his mistakes.  He loved Tasuki and everything else was 

only secondary.  He chuckled and wrapped his arms around his friend 

determined to show him how much he had learned.

Tasuki stiffened slightly, taken aback by his friend's change in 

behavior, and then allowed himself to be held.  He had missed  

Chichiri so much in the past month.  What few moments they had shared 

together last time had been circling through his mind ever since he 

left in anger.  But when you added together all those bad feelings, 

they didn't even begin to measure up with how much he longed to feel 

Chichiri becoming one with him in body and soul.  He loved this man 

too much.  That was why he had come back.

He turned around in Chichiri's embrace.  "Listen I have something I 

want to..."

Chichiri quieted Tasuki with his fingers on his lips.  "No.  We've 

talked too much before and look where it got us.  For tonight, I want 

to just forget everything and start all over again."  chichiri gently 

traced the younger man's lips, which turned upwards into a smile.

"Chichiri...I love you."

"I know...And I love you too."

The two men embraced fiercely before their trembling lips found one 

another, both of them willing to make tonight count for a lifetime of 

lost opportunities.