Pull of Destiny

*(7/9)

By Sakata Ri Houjun

 *******************

Chichiri tried to concentrate on his homework, but the image of 

Tasuki taking a bath was burned into his mind.  It wasn't like he 

hadn't seen his friend nude before.  During their time traveling 

together, it had never affected him this strongly.  Maybe it was the 

kiss from earlier that morning or the grin Tasuki wore while inviting 

him to join.

He had left the bathroom with an apology, certain his face was red.  

He became viciously aware of each sound from the bathroom.  Images 

elicited by his imagination and memories only helped to double the 

intensity of his erection.  Chichiri shifted uncomfortably in his 

seat and wished he could regain control over his body.

Suddenly, the bathroom door opened and Chichiri glanced up to find 

Tasuki emerging, wearing only his jeans and rubbing his hair with a 

towel.  Quickly he returned his attention back to the textbook, heat 

rising to his face.

Tasuki noticed his friend's reaction and smiled secretly.  "What are 

you doing?" he asked innocently while letting the towel fall to the 

floor and walking silently towards the former monk.

Chichiri shifted in his seat again and forced himself to keep his eyes 

on the book.  "Studying.  My final thesis is coming up."

Tasuki stood behind Chichiri and looked over the man's shoulder at 

the textbook.  His smile still on his face, he placed his hands on 

Chichiri's shoulders.  The older man stiffened slightly, still 

keeping his eyes glued to the page although he could no longer focus 

on the words.

The former bandit bent down and gently ran his lips across the back 

of his friend's neck.  "You can study later.  We have some unfinished 

business," he whispered against the skin before darting his tongue 

out to taste.

Chichiri's eyes fluttered closed as he leaned his head back.  He 

opened his mouth, trying to form a protest but all he could manage 

was moaning his friend's name.  Tasuki smiled at the sound of his 

name and moved higher to trace his tongue along the delicate shell of 

the former monk's ear.  He slid his palms down Chichiri's arms until 

he reached his hands.  He then held onto them, squeezing tightly, 

possessively.

"Chiri," he murmured.  "I won't hurt you.  I just want to love you, 

but only if you want me too."

Chichiri's eyes snapped open at these words.  Love?  Tasuki loved 

him?  He blinked slowly, trying to take this in, but the closeness of 

the younger man was driving away all his control.

"Tasuki, you love me?" Chichiri whispered breathlessly.

The flame-haired youth leaned his chin against Chichiri's shoulder 

and sighed.  "Of course I do.  I wouldn't be doing this otherwise."

Chichiri tilted his head towards Tasuki's and smiled sadly.  "We 

can't do this."

Tasuki jerked back, Chichiri's words hitting him like ice 

water.  "What?  We can't...  Why?  I didn't hear you complaining 

before."

The older man turned to face his friend, eyes bright with 

tears.  "You're right.  I wasn't complaining then or now, but we 

can't all the same.  It wouldn't be right."

Tasuki sunk to his knees in shock, his heart squeezing painfully and 

he looked up at his friend.  "But it is right.  Surely you can feel 

that?  I love you, damnit!"

Chichiri closed his eyes at the words.  He had waited a lifetime to 

hear them and now he couldn't even enjoy the moment.  "You have no 

idea what that means to me, to hear you say that.  However, there is 

still something else."

"Something else?"

Chichiri nodded while opening his eyes.  "Yes.  Something from our 

last life.  Something you don't remember.  Until you do, I can't...," 

he trailed off and looked away.

Tasuki pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes.  He hadn't forgotten 

his fight.  It had haunted him ever since he remembered, but he 

didn't want to swell on his past like his friend did.  What was with 

Chichiri and clinging to his past?  Why can't he learn to just let 

things go?  He felt  the desire in his body beginning to transform 

into anger and he frowned.

"What makes you so certain that I don't remember?"

Chichiri faced him again, noticing the fierce expression on his face 

and was taken aback.  He had seen that look before.

"Just because I decide to get on with my life and not get dragged 

down by my mistakes doesn't mean that I've forgotten.  Or is it that 

you think you're too damn good for me?"  His voice had taken on a 

threatening tone and Chichiri felt his heart race in fear.

"I...NO...It's not like that..."  He tried to stop Tasuki, to prevent 

it all from happening again.

Tasuki got to his feet and took a step back.  "Just because I am what 

I am doesn't mean that I'm below you.  You're the one with a jaded 

past!  You're the one with something to be ashamed of!"  His voice 

rose in volume as he wiped his hands on his jeans as if he had touched 

something disgusting.

Chichiri knew it was all happening again.  Tasuki's words were 

echoing those said on that long ago night.  Even as he realized this, 

his fear gave way to anger at the mention of his past, just as it had 

back then.  He rose to his feet and glared back at his friend.

"At least I don't degrade myself and Suzaku with what I do.  Do you 

think that he is proud to had such a man as you serving him?  You're 

nothing but a petty thief!"

The room around them melted away to a starlit night sky over a 

forest.  Tasuki was fully dressed in his tunic and stiff leather 

jacket, tessen in its holster.  Chichiri gripped his shakujo tightly 

as a wind whipped his kesa around his body.

Tasuki too a step forward and ripped the blue-haired man's mask from 

his face and sneered.  "At least I don't hide behind a fucking paper 

mask and pretend to be all noble and shit!  I can be honest with 

myself!  I can admit to my faults!  Can you, monk?"  He drew out the 

last word as if it were an insult and flashed his fangs.

"I can be just as honest as you, but you can't handle the truth!"

"Don't make me laugh!  You wouldn't know the truth if it bit you on 

the ass!"  He laughed then at the monk whose face turned red with 

fury, his good eye glittering.

"How dare you call yourself a Suzaku Shichiseishi!  We would have 

been better served if you had died along time ago!  You're not worthy 

of your title!  And that's the truth...," he trailed off softly as he 

turned around and began to walk away.

Tasuki stopped laughing, pain and fury mingling in his blood.  

Without thinking, he ran after the blue-haired man and spun him 

around.  Chichiri's eye widened as the bandit reached back and hit 

him in the face.  Chichiri fell to the ground, dropping his shakujo 

and staring up at his former friend, furious.

Tasuki glared back at the man a moment more before running off into 

the darkness.  Chichiri sat up and watched him disappear, holding his 

cheek.  The adrenaline of his anger began to wear off and the room 

came back into focus once he heard the door slam.

It all happened again, he thought as he closed his eyes and let his 

sorrow out.  He drove away Tasuki again because he couldn't admit how 

he felt.  Rather than letting him love Tasuki unconditionally, he 

chose to ignore his feelings, thinking it was all for the younger 

man's benefit.  In that life and now this one, he had managed to ruin 

things yet again.