Pull of Destiny*(5/9)By Sakata Ri Houjun Warning: Same warnings from the previous chapter. Also a lime warning. **************************************************************** Tasuki laughed and looked down at his plate. "Pretty fucking pathetic, huh? I died without honor, a victim of petty thievery and completely helpless." "Tasuki, I'm sorry..." Chichiri felt inadequate as how to respond to such a story. He looked down at their intertwined fingers as Tasuki squeezed again. "Don't be. It was my own fault for being careless and besides, I actually feel better now after finally telling some one." Chichiri could feel his friend's warmth in his hand. More than that, he could feel his courage and strength passing through the contact. His heart skipped a beat as he seemed to feel Tasuki's spirit pass into him, similar to how his old power used to feel. His resolve strengthened and he took a deep breath before meeting his friend's eyes. Tasuki knew that Chichiri felt obligated to share his memory, but didn't want to pressure the man he loved. His eyes widened when he noticed an odd look on Chichiri's face. He seemed distant and lost, yet determined. Tasuki leaned forward as Chichiri began. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Every step along the steep mountain path meant he was getting closer to the top. Why he was climbing this mountain anyways was a concept beyond him. Several years ago, Tasuki had made the errant comment about climbing this mountain and spending a night among the clouds. Chichiri had dismissed the idea at the time, but, not long after the two had separated, he found a lot of those conversations with Tasuki were haunting him. He had been passing by the mountain and remembered what Tasuki had said. He decided to climb then on a spur-of-the-moment thought. He was no longer mad at his former friend, yet still found the memories of their final parting painful. He had lost dear friends before to anger. Why didn't he learn from his mistakes? Chichiri decided that when he reached the top, he'd pray fro the strength to heal the deep emotional wounds that were inflicted that day. Perhaps he's even receive the courage to go and apologize to his friend. Chichiri smiled at the thought of seeing Tasuki again. The smile slipped from his face the moment the ledge gave out from beneath his feet. Panic gripped his heart as he began to fall backwards. Time seemed to slow down to an eternity as the sound of wind rushing past his body filled his ears. Chichiri didn't even feel anything. He gazed up at the cliff he had fallen from and knew that from that height, he should be in pain. That meant that he was seriously hurt. He tried to move, but was completely paralyzed from the neck down. He had broken his back. Chichiri closed his eye in utter defeat. His magic was useless now and no one would ever come to rescue him. Completely helpless and alone, Chichiri began to cry. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop the tears, he couldn't even brush them away. Frustration clamped down on his mind and he screamed wordlessly as the sun set. That night, the stars came out. The sky was clear and Chichiri could see each of his friends' constellations. He felt some hope return until he noticed that he couldn't see his star at all. An outcropping of rock blotted out where his star should be. In that moment, he felt so removed from his friends and the god, Suzaku. He had lost everything he could possibly ever have. Family, friends, home, Tasuki, and ultimately his life was now to be forfeit. It was nothing less than he earned after denying himself and allowing his pride to get the better of him. All he ever wanted was to be loved by Tasuki and instead drove him away because of a petty... He never regretted anything except the words spoken in anger and turning his back on his friend. Chichiri moved his face away so he couldn't see the stars anymore and wept. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "It was a week before my body finally died fro dehydration. By that time, the birds and insects had already found me and..." Chichiri's bottom lip quivered at the painful memory. If Tasuki hadn't been holding onto his hand, his whole body would have been shaking. "You may have felt ashamed of how you died, but I...I was in constant pain until my last breath. It wasn't physical because I couldn't feel a thing, but I was lonely and scared." Chichiri felt the tears come again and turned his face away. Tasuki let go of Chichiri's hand and push his chair back. Chichiri withdrew both of his hands to his lap, his eyes remaining closed as the tears kept falling. Tasuki walked over to where his friend sat and knelt so he could see his face. Without a word, Tasuki drew Chichiri into his arms and held him tight. Chichiri wasn't expecting this action, but allowed himself to be embraced by his friend. The closeness set his heart racing and more tears fell, sad mixing with the happy. He started shaking and Tasuki rubbed small circles on the older man's back. This caused Chichiri to burst into uncontrollable sobs and even Tasuki couldn't contain his tears anymore. "It's okay, now. You're alive again, aren't you?" Tasuki whispered into Chichiri's hair. "Yes. But it's still so hard to deal with these memories sometimes," Chichiri gasped between sobs. "I do feel better though now that you know." Tasuki chuckled. "Didn't I tell you?" He inhaled deeply Chichiri's scent and felt the last of his control slip away. He slip his hands up Chichiri's back to cup his beautiful face and tilted it towards his own. Chichiri stiffened as Tasuki kissed him, shock widening his eyes before he sighed and melted fully into his friend's embrace. His fingers were soon lost in the fiery mane of silken hair as he returned the kiss with equal passion. This was what he had been dreaming of all this time. This was what he had always wanted. With a groan, Tasuki plunged his tongue into Chichiri's mouth, filling his senses with a sweet fire that burn away the last of his pain. Chichiri responded by gently tracing his own tongue across the tips of Tasuki's fangs. Both men shivered as Chichiri slid off his chair to his knees and pressed his body against Tasuki's. The former bandit drew away to nibble lightly at Chichiri's jaw. The older man wandered his hands over his friend's back, slowly memorizing the toned contours as Tasuki lightly traced his fingertips down Chichiri's chest. The former monk's gasp was stifled as Tasuki claimed his lips again. Every fiber in his being screamed for more as he cupped the younger man's ass and pushed his boy even closer against his. When he felt Tasuki's arousal brush against his own, Chichiri's mind reeled with ecstasy. It seemed that they were made for each other, their bodies fit so perfectly together. Suddenly, a voice echoed within his mind. A voice he knew too well, on from his memories. "How dare you call yourself a Suzaku Shichiseishi! We would have been better served if you had died along time ago! You're not worthy of your title!" Chichiri jerked away, his eyes wide with fear. Those were words he had heard so many times before. They repeated themselves over and over again every time he remembered that fight with Tasuki. They were the words he yelled in anger at his friend before turning his back on the bandit and leaving him, forever. Muttering a half-hearted apology, Chichiri scooted away from his friend and shakily go to his feet. He gathered his textbooks from a table and headed towards the door. Chichiri paused a moment, feeling the hurt emanating from Tasuki's eyes and sighed. "I've got to go to school now. I'll see you when I get back." Once outside, Chichiri looked up at the blue sky and let out a Shaking laugh. Tasuki felt the same way he did, but he obviously didn't remember that long ago night. Until he did, he didn't want to do this. Until he could resolve this problem, he couldn't allow himself to love Tasuki like he wanted to even though it would hurt.