Monk

*(2/8)

By Sakata Ri Houjun

 

~***************~

 

Ten years is a long time to live the lifestyle of a monk.  In that time, one can pick up certain habits.  When the sun came up over the horizon, I automatically awoke.  In my daily routine, I started each day with prayers and mantras offered up in thanks for a new day.

 

On this morning, as I glanced at the rising sun, I could feel a warm body pressed close to me.  I sat up and looked down at Tasuki’s sleeping form.  I couldn't help but smile as I recalled the events of the night prior...His gentle hands...His demanding lips...

 

Unexpectedly, I felt my body grow aroused, threatening to push me over the edge once again.  I wanted nothing more than to lie next to my lover and listen to him breathe.  He always was such a noisy sleeper.  However, I knew that I needed to go and perform my daily morning routine.

 

I found my way back into the main room where we had started last night so I could gather my discarded clothing.  After dressing, I headed outside.

 

In the early morning light, the world seemed brand new and beautiful.  I knew it really hadn't changed overnight.  Instead I was simply seeing things with new eyes.  I took a deep breath and remembered just why I loved the mountains.  I never really mattered where I went; the air always was so fresh and clean.

 

I found myself before one of the many ancient temples that were located all over this mountain.  A quiet secluded place, if any, to offer my prayers.  I knelt and began.  As I clasped the beads around my neck and focused my thoughts, Tasuki's face appeared within my mind.

 

I remembered the sweet scent of his body and the feel of his warm skin.  My heart began to beat faster.  I suddenly realized that I had stopped in my praying.  Frowning, I began again.

 

Yet, within moments, my mind wandered again to thoughts of Tasuki once more.  His prominent eyeteeth gently biting into my skin with sharp pangs of pain...Each word he whispered against my skin as we made love...  In frustration at my distraction, I slammed my fist into the rocky ground.  With every ounce of discipline in my being, I started once more.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

I returned to the Leikaku bandits' stronghold to find Tasuki waiting for me.  He was smiling in the usual lopsided manner he used to, but his eyes carried a deep heat meant only for me.  I found that I couldn’t help but return his smile even though I felt so angry after so many failed attempts at praying earlier.

 

"I know ya go off and pray every morning, but ya sure took your sweet time today.  Is there something wrong?"  His smile started to slip.

 

I laughed.  "I just had trouble concentrating, no da.  I was distracted..." I let my voice fade before I could say anything else.

 

Tasuki's grin returned, wider.  "Distracted, huh?"  He motioned me into the dining hall where several bandits were finishing up their meals.

 

"I made certain that these assholes left ya something to eat.  They can be such fucking pigs."  His jest was met with several crude comments that he returned with laughter. 

 

Looking at the food, I found I wasn't really that hungry, but Tasuki was watching me.  For his sake, I forced myself to eat.  However, I kept returning to what happened at the temple after I finally got done praying.  What did my vision mean?

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

Tasuki sought me out in the privacy of the room he had given me.  I didn’t hear him come in, my thought were on my vision.  He was, after all, a bandit well known for his stealth.  From behind, he embraced me, pressing his face against my neck.  For a moment, I closed my eye and lost myself in his closeness.  How could I forget the reasons why I had been distracted?  Was it wrong for me to be with this man whom I loved?

 

"What's wrong, Chiri?" he murmured against my skin.

 

I needed to clear my head so I pulled away from his searing warmth and moved to an open window.  I looked out across the scenery and felt my emotions beginning to calm.

 

"I need to go..." I began.

 

"No," Tasuki stated flatly.  I turned to face him.  His eyes were full of fear.  I'd seen that look only once before when I had asked him to use his fire on Hikou.  He knew that if he did, it would have killed me too.  He was afraid to lose me now as he was then.

 

I smiled reassuringly.  "Only to the city of Souun and only for a few days, no da."

 

"But why so soon?  You just got here."  He was beginning to panic.  "Did I do something wrong?"

 

I closed the distance between us and pulled him close.  My heart ached to see him like this.  Tasuki loved me so much that he wanted me to stay here.  He had been hoping that I felt the same way and would be convinced to give up wandering.  But he knew as well as I did that old habits die-hard.

 

"You have my word that I'll be back soon.  I just have a feeling that I’ll be needed there...You understand?"

 

Of course he did.  My powers enabled me to sense when I was needed.  He didn't say a word, but pulled away and kissed me.  My body felt as if it were on fire.  When I first met Tasuki all those years ago, I had guessed by his brash attitude and hot temper that he was the very spirit of fire.  In that moment, I realized that I had no idea just how accurate I was back than.

 

He broke off the kiss to gaze into my eye.  The carefree grin had returned.

 

"I'll be waiting for you."

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Two days later, I found myself at the edge of Souun City.  It was just like I had remembered it, rich with commerce and life.  I knew Tasuki had been born near this area and had lived most of his life here.  I wished that I could visit the place of my birth, but it along with my home village of Shouryuu had been completely destroyed by the flood that took everything from me...including my left eye.

 

However, that had been over ten years ago and in the past.  I overcame that part of my life long ago.

 

I suddenly heard a small child scream in delight.  I turned to my right to find a small group of children rushing up to meet me.  I knew exactly how they felt.  Growing up, my friends and I would always become excited whenever a wandering monk came to visit my village.  We would gather at their feet and listen as they told stories of their journeys.  This instilled a love of traveling in me, which helped to guide me in my decision to become a monk.

 

More than that was the legend following me.  Only a monk who looked as I did had to be the Suzaku Shichiseishi, Chichiri.  The group of children soon doubled as they dragged me off to a secluded area, begging to hear the very story I lived through.

 

I could roughly say that a third of these children hadn't even been born during the time the story took place while the rest were too young to remember.  I was certain they had heard is a hundred times from family members of other travelers like myself.  They didn't care.

 

I began to tell them the tale.  Carefully I wove each detail from my memory so that they could almost see the Suzaku no Miko herself.  I described each of my friends, the seishi, so they would love them as much as I had.  As I talked, I examined the excited face of each child gathered around me, holding onto every word.  How bright and innocent their eyes were.

 

Then, the words got caught in my throat.  One face was smiling, but her eyes were dead and lifeless.  It was as if she too wore a mask.  But her eyes...they haunted me.  I stumbled over my words as I retraced my steps, but my gaze was drawn back to this girl.  She looked no more than ten or eleven with lavender hair and gray eyes.  What could have caused her to lose the spark of life that all children had?

 

Her forced smile suddenly slipped slowly from her face as she collapsed onto the ground.  I stood up to peer over the heads of the other children.  They turned to watch as she convulsed violently in the dirt.  In fear, they backed away.  I took the opening and ran to help this child.

 

I concentrated my ki and sent a small vibration through my fingers into her body.  I didn't have healing powers like Mitsukake, but I knew it would counteract her convulsions.  Slowly and surely, she did stop and remained still in my arms.

 

I felt the gaze of every child staring at me, transfixed.  I looked up and met each of their faces with a smile.  "I think we'd better stop for today, no da.  It's late and you should all go home now.   This girl will be fine, no da."

 

At first they didn't move and I was afraid that it was because they were scared to.  But one by one, they eventually left.  I felt the girl shaking in my arms and I looked down, worried that her fit may have started again.  Instead, she was staring up at me, her haunting eyes full of tears.

 

"I'm sorry...” she whispered meekly before bursting into sobs.  With one tiny hand, she grabbed my kesa and pulled herself against me.  I gathered her small trembling form closer and held her tightly.

 

"It's okay..." I whispered over and over.  "It's going to be okay."

 

"No, it's not," came her strangled cry.  "I want to tell some one what wrong, but if he found out, he'd hurt me."

 

"Who would?"

 

"My father."  She looked up at my masked face with her haunting eyes.  I could sense her fear and I felt my own heart race.

 

"Tell me then.  I promise not to share your secret with another soul."

 

"You swear?"

 

Did she know what it truly meant for a monk to give his word?  I would be held by this promise until my dying day.  I hesitated for only a moment to ponder this.  Her burden was great, but what if I agreed and put myself in a situation?  The girl's eyes bore into my very soul and I knew I had no right to think selfishly.  I nodded.

 

The child took a deep breath and began her story.  She told me of how her mother would leave frequently to gossip with her friends.  In her absence, her father never minded watching over their daughter.  It seemed like a perfectly normal, happy family, but once alone with her father...

 

My blood ran cold.  I knew my face must have registered shock.  Evil existed, that couldn't be denied even if I wished it didn't.  I knew perverted souls who preyed upon the weak, getting pleasure form pain and manipulation.  With my powers, I have saved many from such evil, but to hear what this girl told me...

 

Tears began to prick the backs of my eye, but I wouldn't allow myself to cry.  For her sake, I'd be strong and continue to hold her.  In hearing her story, her burden would be eased, but in exchange, I had taken on a portion of the weight.

 

Something needed to be done, but I had given my word that I wouldn’t let anyone else know.  It was against my nature to take direct action, unlike my lover Tasuki who would have acted regardless.  My heart screamed for justice, but my heart clung to duty.  As I held this crying, tortured child, I realized that I had been right...I was now caught in a situation I didn't wish to be in.  I closed my eyes and let the tears fall.