The sound of my feet hitting the dirt path was a

Warning: Major spoilers for the second OVAs, particularly episode 5. Angst and sap.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'll Be Here for You

By Sakata Ri Houjun

Lyrics by Sario Kijima

**********************

Despite what they said, I couldn't seem to apologize enough. I knew that they'd forgiven me, even Tama and Miaka, but the shame I felt wouldn't go away. I didn't know what was worse, the fact that I had hurt the one person I was supposed to protect or breaking the heart of the man I loved.

Chichiri knew I wasn't in control even though he was aware of the feelings I've been harboring for Miaka. Would things ever be the same between us? He seemed really disturbed when I made mention of the water...

"Tasuki, what kind of water was it?" Chiriko inquired.

"It came out of nowhere... It was really weird...” I stood while trying to recall the way the water seemed to be alive.

Suddenly, a huge wave exploded behind Miaka and washed over everyone. The inn was filling with the swirling water that was holding us immobile.

"This is it!" I shouted over the roar of the water. "It's the same water!"

Nuriko attempted to move. "Water is this water? Even I can't move."

"It seems alive," Hotohori commented.

I looked over to see Miaka trapped in a giant bubble. Chiriko was gripping onto Mitsukake. Where was Chichiri?

My lover gasped as he pulled his head from under the water, his hair plastered over his face. "Hikou!" The name was torn from his throat. "Show yourself! Hikou!"

*Tatoeba aite no tsumi o kaburo koto ga

Korekara takusan, takusan aru ka to omou*

<If you're to cover the sins of another,

There'll be many, many of them

I'm sure of it>

Another bubble formed in front of us all. Inside two men stood at the edge of a raging river. "Why?" one of the men in the illusion asked. "Why did you betray me, Hikou?"

I recognized Chichiri's voice even though the younger man in the bubble didn't look quite like my lover. This younger Chichiri glared angrily at the other man, holding his wrists in his hands. "Give her back to me!" he screamed.

The other man glared back. "Houjun!"

I glanced over at my lover to see his horrified eye transfixed as the illusion continued. The other man slipped, falling into the river. The younger Chichiri, called Houjun, held his hand, but then let go. Pulled into the rapids, the man screamed Houjun's name as he was swept away.

"Stop it...” I heard Chichiri's sob. He threw his head back in agony. "Stop it!"

The illusion ended, but a rush of water burst from the wall and crashed into Chichiri. It sent him smashing into another wall where he laid still. I clenched my fist in frustration because the water was preventing me from going to him.

"Chichiri!" commanded a voice. "No, rather Houjun." The figure of a man wearing long, flowing robes with ribbed wings sprouting from his back appeared. "Eight years ago, that was how you killed me. That's why I'm taking everything you hold dear away. I'm taking the Suzaku no Miko. If you want her back, come and find me."

Next to me, Tama struggled against the water, finally managing to lift an arm from the current. "Miaka!" he cried.

"Taka!" she screamed in return. Water surrounded the bubble, and Hikou disappeared, sending the bubble through the roof and into the dark sky. Then, the water quickly receded, freeing us all.

*Sore o, ne, akira me mitomeru koto wa nai

Sore ga otona ni naru koto nara nara, nakute ii*

<Speaking of which, you know, there's no need to give up and accept it

If that's what if means to be an adult,

Then I'd rather not become one>

Water drained from the hole in the roof as the other seishi and I gathered around Chichiri's crumpled form. I never did unclench my fists.

"No good," Hotohori said softly. "He's unconscious."

I looked over at Tama. "How's he doing?"

"He's still a basket case," Nuriko replied, peering at Tama who hadn't moved.

"I see that." I sighed and knelt next to Chichiri. "Do what you can to snap him out of it. I'm going to get Chichiri upstairs." I scooped up my lover and stood up. He never did mind my carrying him, I didn't either.

*Kimi no koto wa itsudemo miteru

Kimi no koto wa watashi ga dakishimeru*

<I'll always be watching over you;

I'll be the one to hold you tight>

I reentered the room we were in only a short while ago. I laid him on the bed and gently removed his mask. Looking at his slack face, I began to trace a finger down his scar.

"Chiri, you never told me about your past. I had no idea." I leaned over his prone body to kiss his unmoving lips before proceeding to remove his wet clothing. I had just pulled the blanket to cover his perfect body when Mitsukake arrived.

"Is he awake yet?"

I shook my head. While Mits walked over to the bed to get a better look at Chichiri, I dragged a chair over for him. He sat down just as the others arrived. Tama was trying to pull away from Nuriko's unyielding grasp.

"Wait, will you, Taka?" Nuriko halted his exit again.

"Let me go, Nuriko!" Tama protested. "I have to find Miaka!"

"I know how you feel, but we can't go yet."

"That's right," Hotohori agreed. "We don't even know where they're at."

I watched them argue. Tama finally gave up, but he didn't seem to be too happy about it. I turned back to the bed. "I bet Chichiri knows, but he's still out of it. Hey, Mitsukake, why not use your powers and wake him up faster?"

He closed his eyes at my request. "Chichiri's heart was wounded more than his body. It's best for nature to take its course and for him to wake up on his own. For his sake..."

*Hitoribotchi da nante, omowanaide ite

Kanashii namida ni wa kuchibiru o yosete*

<”On your own" and all that... Don't even think it

I'll touch my lips to your sad tears>

"I can't fight him..." I blinked back at Chichiri's soft voice.

"You're awake." Mits sounded as surprised as I felt. "Are you in any pain?"

Chichiri's eye was still closed, his long hair lying flat on his face. "You saw... How I murdered my best friend..."

I felt the tears stinging the backs of my eyes as he described the events leading up to the scene in the illusion. I knew he had been engaged before, he told me on the night we first made love. I also knew he lost her, as well as everyone else, to a flood. But I never knew about Hikou.

"At that time, the flood washed away the people I loved... My family... My beloved... But with Hikou, it's different." Chichiri's voice broke as he turned his head away from us. "I can't bring myself to kill him again. I can't..."

All I could do was fucking stand there, clenching and unclenching my fists. Chiri never told me. Why didn't he tell me?

Mitsukake began to talk to Chichiri, but I wasn't really listening to his words. I was watching my lover. I hated to see him like this. I actually preferred his damn mask as opposed to this wounded man. I wanted to run to his side and hold and kiss away his pain. Suzaku, please help him.

*Nemurenai toki wa denwa oshite kite

Kimi no iyagaru koto wa kesshite shinai*

<So, on those times you can't sleep, give me a call

I'll never do anything you don't want me to>

"Don't suffer alone," Mitsukake's words came back into focus. "We're here for you. We all want to help. I know it's going to be hard to reopen that wound, but don't you think it's time? Time to set you and your friend free? You see that, don't you? I believe you do."

"Chichiri, forgive me." Tama stepped towards the bed. "All you do is save me and we all need you. I'll go. Tell me where to find them."

Chichiri remained silent for a moment, lying still. My heart beat as we waited for a response. Finally, he sat up in bed and opened his eye. "I will go. I will."

Mitsukake stood up, a smile on his face. "Take all the time you need. We'll be waiting. Come and get us when you're ready and we'll fight together."

*Furimuite...

Aishiteru*

<Please look back to me...

I love you>

One by one, the others left until it was just Chichiri and I alone in the room. He just sat there, staring straight ahead. I sighed and turned to go.

"Gomen." His voice was so soft, I could barely make out his words. I froze in my tracks and looked over my shoulder at him.

He stared at me, his face so sad and pained. "I never told anyone before."

I grinned. "Don't be. Just get dressed." I closed the door behind me. I looked down the stairs at the way the others went and thought about following as well. But I knew that Chichiri would try to do this alone. My place was with my lover. His pain was now my pain and I wasn't about to let him face this alone.

I snuck outside and crept to the balcony. I leaned back against the wall, next to the door and waited. I wondered if I had been wrong in assuming that Chichiri would go off alone, but I knew my lover better than anyone else did. He wanted to spare us his burdens.

*Sabishisa ni osare taorose ni mattara

Kodomo no yo ni ogoe de naite mogaite*

<Prompted by lonliness, if you feel you're about to fall

Crying and fussing like a little child>

After a few long moments, I heard his shakujo rattle. The door opened and he walked outside. I uncrossed my arms. "You know where they are, don't you? I'm going too, no matter what you say."

I walked up beside him and looked down in guilt. "I have to because what Hikou did to you was what I was going to do to Tama. the thing is...they don't blame me for any of it." Chichiri and I had talked briefly about this before. I had been confused about how I felt about Miaka even though I loved Chichiri.

"It caught me off guard. I always thought of Miaka as a sister, but I'm a man too..." I shuddered at the memory of what I almost did and closed my eyes. "Still, I never thought I'd stoop so low. I don't mind dying. If it’s for those two, I don't think I'd mind..."

Chichiri sighed, putting his hand on my head. I glanced over to see his smile. "No one is ever really complete, no da. That's why no one can successfully live alone, no da. I understand, Tasuki. We'll save Miaka, together." He meant more behind his words and flashed a small smile back at him.

At that moment, Tama appeared out of the darkness. "Make that three, not two. I'm going."

Chichiri laughed. "I may not be able to save you this time, no da." He lifted his shakujo to remove his kesa and teleport us to where Hikou was.

*Asahi o mitara inru yo ni, "kyo mo yorashiku" to

Yowayowa shikute mo egao no mama de ite hashii*

<Upon viewing the sunrise, you say to it:

"Please watch over me today, as well"

Even if you're uncertain, I'd like for you to keep smiling>

Standing outside a massive limestone cave as rain poured over us, I looked about in confusion.

"Where are we?" Tama asked.

Chichiri stared into the cave calmly. "Near where I used to live. Hikou always used to hide in these caves when we were children." He moved into the entrance. Without hesitation, Tama and I followed.

He stopped short of the main cavern and held out his shakujo. The cave vibrated when he sent a blast of his ki across the pools of water on the floor. Rock formation broke apart as the water sprayed us and Hikou, who glared angrily at Chichiri.

"Hikou!" Chichiri commanded, meeting the glare with one of his own. "Let Miaka go, otherwise..."

"otherwise you'll do what?" Hikou mocked.

Chichiri ignored the comment. "My friends who serve Suzaku mean more to me than life itself. To protect them, I will kill you first!"

*Kimi no koto wa itsudemo mamoru

Kimi no moto ni ii koto kitto aru*

<I'll always protect you

To you, something good will surely happen>

"interesting," Hikou shrugged. "you'll have to do it before your lovely Miko drowns."

Tama burst forward in a run, yelling to Chichiri to simply watch over Miaka and to leave Hikou to us. I responded by slamming my tessen into the water, sending flames towards Hikou.

Hikou leapt back, commanding a wall of water to rise in front of him. The water shielded him, deadening my fire. I cursed as the opened his arms, firing wave after wave of speeding water at Tama and me. The pain was sharp and the both of us were knocked to the floor. I was vaguely aware of Chichiri calling out my name.

Hikou raised his arms, preparing to fire at us again.

Chichiri leapt in front of me. Glowing with red light, he summoned his ki.

Hikou thrust his arm forward, sending a torrent of water towards us. Chichiri let loose an enormous blast of his ki, which smashed against the wave. The water dissipated, and Hikou staggered back from the force.

"That was...wow..." Tama breathed in amazement form behind me.

I had seen Chichiri's power so many times before, but he never ceased to surprise. "No shit, man."

*Arikitari da nante iwanaide ite

Kokoro o tsuyoku mae ni dashite agetai dake*

<"It happens all the time" and all that...

Don't even say it

All I'm trying to do is be upfront with my feelings>

Hikou stood upright again, glaring at Chichiri. Miaka screamed, "Hikou, stop it! Chichiri's your friend! Can't you see how this is hurting him? Can't you see that he loves you?"

"Silence!" Hikou snarled. He threw his arm upward again, summoning an even more powerful wall of water. As it splashed over him, Miaka began to cry out again, her words echoing those in my heart as I looked at my lover.

"If you were his friend, you'd understand that!"

*Ashita wa kyo yori kibishii to omou kara

Kimi o sasaeru hashira ni naritai*

< Because tomorrow, compared to today,

Will be much worse, I think

And so, I'd like to become the pillar that support you>

Chichiri watched Hikou, holding his shakujo

outstretched and glowing with red ki. "Hikou,"

Chichiri smiled. "Don't worry. This time I'll save

you." With a movement of his hand, Chichiri

teleported away. I glanced about in confusion until I

noticed Chichiri's kesa billowing before Hikou.

"Tasuki!" he yelled at me, his voice piercing my heart

with its pain. He was in the water wall. "Burn my

kesa! Concentrate everything on burning my kesa! If

you do that, we can break through the barrier and your

flame will reach inside!"

I froze, knowing what would happen if I did as he

asked. I grinned, surely he must be joking. "What

the hell are you saying? If I do that, you'll die

too."

"Hurry!" Chichiri screamed. "We don't have much

time!"

I didn't want to do it. I glanced down at my tessen.

Could I sacrifice my lover for a greater good? My hand

was shaking. "But..."

"My body can't take this pressure very much longer!"

he cried. "Do it! Tasuki! Do it now!"

I couldn't stop shaking as his words brought back

memories of Chiriko's death. The boy had asked me

back then to do the same thing, to kill him with my

fire, and I had been unable to do it. "This happened

before..." I shuddered at my own cowardice. "it's

all happening again."

I couldn't kill the one I loved. "Kuso! Kuso!"

I could feel my legs buckling. I squeezed my eyes

shut, only aware of my own heartbeat. If I killed

him, I wouldn't be able to go on. "Nooo!" I screamed.

*Sono namida...

Aishiteru*

<Those tears of yours...

I love you>

Within my mind, I recalled the night we confessed our

feelings for one another, no long after returning from

Miaka's world. I didn't want to say goodbye to him

and he didn't want to wander alone. In the one

decisive moment in which we could have parted ways and

lived our separate, lonely lives, we kissed and knew

we could never be apart again.

"Tasuki!" I looked up at Tama, pulled from my

tortured thoughts. His eyes were full of

determination, just like when he faced me on the

stairs. He had been willing to die to prove his love

and devotion to Miaka. I realized that Chichiri was

doing the same thing, not just to protect Miaka, but

me as well.

I gripped my tessen tightly, coming to a decision. If

Chichiri was willing to die for us, then I would

respect his choice.

*Kowari yasui no wa

Kimi ga junsui dakara*

<As for why you're so fragile

It's because you're such an innocent>

"Run Tama!"

I felt my power surge through me, fueled my love and

pain. "Lekka Shinen!" My fire reached out and began

to burn Chichiri's kesa as Tama ran with all his

might.

Holding my tessen in front of me, I concentrated,

letting myself become the flames I controlled. all I

could hear was the roar of fire in tune with my

heartbeat as it consumed the kesa. Then, I could hear

another sound, Chichiri's heartbeat beating in time

with my own. My eyes snapped open as I latched onto

that pulse.

We were connected and nothing could tear us apart.

"Hakurou-ren!" I yelled, sending more power to my

flames. The barrier broke open with a burst of light.

I could see Hikou, Chichiri holding his friend by the

shoulders. Hikou was screaming as tears were falling

form my lover's face. I fell to my knees, feeling my

control slip.

*Jubun o kaeru koto o

Osore naide ite*

<When it comes to making changes in yourself

Don't back away>

Tama let out a yell as he rushed into the gap. With

all his strength, he delivered Hikou a stunning blow

through my flames.

"Impossible... How could I be killed by these mere

children..." Before Chichiri's horrified eye, Hikou's

solid body burnt away.

The bubble imprisoning Miaka popped and Tama ran to

catch her. As she coughed, Tama turned to me with a

grin. "Miaka's okay! We did it, Tasuki!"

"Yeah, we did." I muttered, my whole body weak, my

eyes on Chichiri. "I thought we all were going to

die, you jerk. I'm beat."

*Ikiteru'n dakara; ikiteru'n dakara*

Chichiri glanced up at me, his face sad, before

falling to his knees in the water. He reached beneath

the surface and pulled a translucent hand from it.

"Why?" Hikou whispered roughly. "Why aren't you

letting go of my hand?"

"I promised I wouldn't let go this time," he replied

quietly as a sad smile crossed his face.

"We'll all be reunited...in heaven? You're still such

a nice guy. That's why she loved you."

"Hikou, don't" Chichiri tried to stop his friend. I

stood up on shaking legs and moved closer to my lover.

"Did you really believe that she betrayed you?" Hikou

closed his eyes as he used the last of his power to

conjure another illusion. Inside this bubble, a young

Hikou grabbed a girl in his arms, kissing her with a

fierce passion. When he let her go, she fell to the

floor.

"It hurts and there's nothing I can do about it. You

know how I feel about you!"

"I didn't mean to take her away from you," Hikou

murmured. "Just once...I wanted to hold her, feel

her lips, and her warmth. She was a virtuous girl.

She couldn't marry you because she felt she didn't

deserve to be with you, once she had been kissed by

another man. It was only once...

"Yes, I was the one who wrecked it all. I deserved to

die, but I was jealous and had let a bitter demon

posses me. And for such a fool as I, you were

hurt..." Hikou glanced at the bubble again.

*Nemurenai toki wa denwa o shite kite

Kimi no iya gara koto wa kessite shinai*

<So, on those times you can't sleep, give me a call

I'll never do anything you don't want me to>

I watched as Hikou fell into the churning water.

Chichiri, Houjun, was laid out on a rock in the midst

of the flow, desperately trying to pull Hikou form the

current. A jagged tree branch from upstream came

sailing towards them, and violently tore out Houjun's

eye. In shock and pain, Houjun let go of Hikou's

hand.

I winced at the pain Chichiri had to endure that

fateful day. So, that was how he received his scar.

My heart broke as I turned my head.

"your scar," Hikou continued. "if she was to see it,

she's be hurt too."

"At that time, I should have held on! No matter what!

I should have held on!" I looked back up as

Chichiri's voice broke, fresh tears running down his

cheek. "When I saw you, lying lifeless in the water,

I couldn't move. If I had the powers I have now... I

could have saved you... Somehow..." Chichiri broke

off into sobs as I clenched my fists.

"We were young. Could best friends really be so

quick to mistrust one another?"

"What are you saying?" Chichiri's voice rose in

panic. "You are my best friend, even now. I love

you. I have always loved you." He clung fiercely to

Hikou's hand as it slowly dissolved away. "Don't go!

Hikou!"

Hikou's hand shattered into droplets of water and his

body disappeared as Chichiri howled in anguish. The

echo reverberated through the cavern as I felt my own

tears fall.

*Dakara ne...

Furete ii?

Dakishimetai, sono senaka*

<So, please...

May I reach out to you?

I want to hold you, hold on to you>

Chichiri sat in the water, absolutely crushed as I,

Miaka, and Tama looked on, silent. Water ran from

Chichiri's hand and dripped into the pool as Hikou's

voice faded away. "To water, I return. Houjun,

forgive me. Kudasai..."

Nothing was said for a while. All we could do was

watch as Chichiri cried.

"Chichiri..." Miaka breathed, uncertain as how to

approach him.

He looked up at her, tears still falling, but a smile

on his face. "He's at peace now and so am I." His

voice broke and I went to him.

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as he wept

openly into my chest. "Yeah, he did seem happy to

have finally told you the truth." My hands rubbed

circles on his back.

I looked up to find Miaka and Tama backing off towards

the entrance of the cave. "We'll give you two some

time alone..." Tama whispered nervously.

I chuckled softly. Well, let them think what they

wanted to, Chichiri was what I cared most about at the

moment.

He clung to me, desperately, as he shook. "Gomen,

Tasuki."

"What do you have to be sorry about? You saved

Miaka."

"But you saved me. Ai shiteru, Tasuki. I didn't want

to put you in that situation."

"Demo you would have done the same for me." I pulled

him away to gently kiss him. I felt more tears fall

down his face. "Why are ya crying?"

He smiled back at me. "you could not have forgotten

what Miaka told you on the stairs, no da."

I smirked. "Demo, you're no girl."

"Hai. Demo, I will still cry in sadness and in joy.

Ai shiteru." He took my hand and intertwined our

fingers. "We are connected until the day we die and

even beyond then."

I wiped away my own tear. "Kuso. Now ya got me

started."

*furimuite...

Aishiteru*

<Please look back to me...

I love you>