Cross My Heart
*Chapter 2
By Sakata Ri Houjun
~***~
My fingers, my body, my soul…
The awakening dawn wraps around both of us, and I vow:
I just want to be with you forever.
~***~
It was the sunlight washing across my face that pulled me from my dreams. And what wonderful dreams they were. However, they couldn’t compare to the reality I was holding in my arms.
Kitari’s hair fanned out across my chest, tickling my neck and chin. I could smell the faint hint of lavender emanating from the silky strands and smiled. She always favored that particular scent when choosing conditioners. It was an aroma that I knew I had always associated with her, and one I would now treasure.
Under my hands, I could feel her body move with every breath she took. Such a gentle, relaxing motion, too. I felt my face pull into a smile as I tightened my hold. I never thought I would be holding anyone, let alone Kitari, this way. It seemed sort of bizarre for me to even think that I could find myself falling in love. But I suppose that’s the way that things go when matters of the heart are involved.
Sounds kind of poetic, doesn’t it?
The next ting I knew was that Kitari was awake. I didn’t have exactly the best view, so I didn’t know how long she had been awake. Maybe she awoke before I did even though it doesn’t really matter. She shifted and lifted her head to gaze up at me, her eyes shinning with wonderment and happiness. I’ve never seen Kitari quite that happy in the time that I knew her. Unless you count that one evening she found an original OVA of Tenchi Muyo for a dollar at a rummage sale.
“Ohyao, deshi,” I whispered as I angled my face towards hers, kissing her lightly on the forehead. “Did you sleep well?”
She gave off a soft chuckle. “I’m a little sore. But I guess that’s to be expected, ne?”
“I wouldn’t know, deshi.” My arms slid up her back to clasp her shoulders. “Last night was a first for me.”
Kitari’s azure eyes widened. “You mean you’ve never…?”
I shook my head with a laugh. “Iya. Never. And if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you look disappointed, deshi.”
Kitari leaned forward and kissed me. “Not disappointed, just surprised. I thought that a beautiful man such as you would have… I mean…” She trailed off as a pink stain covered her cheeks and she demurely averted her eyes. “I’ve always wanted you to be my first, Alec.”
Now it was my turn for my eyes to widen. “You mean you’ve been waiting for me, deshi?”
Kitari bit her lip and nodded. “Hai.”
“Doushite? I mean, what if we had never run into each other again?”
She pulled from my embrace, sitting back on her heels, hands balling up into fists on her thighs. “Alec… Look at me.”
“I am, deshi.” How could I not? The early morning sunlight pooled across her honey-gold skin, casting its rays through her ebon hair to streak it with crimson. Every inch of her body I knew from the two years of our friendship, and now knew intimately by touch and taste. I wanted to haul her into my arms and love her again.
“What do you see?”
I sat up to get a better look at her face, which was shadowed by her hair. “Kitari?”
“Tell me what you see, Alec.”
I drew in a deep breath. “A wonderful and beautiful woman who cared enough to become my friend, and now has become the one I love, deshi.”
She sighed. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Then what…?”
Kitari lifted her head, her eyes slowly brimming with tears. “Before and even after I met you, I had been ostracized from those around me. Not even my family could understand why I became so enamored of anime and manga. No one was willing to associate with me. I was strange and different, but yet how could they know at first glance? I’m not too short, too slender, or overly noticeable in my appearance. Upon meeting others for the first time, they immediately ignored me and what reason did I give them for such a reaction?”
I wanted to reach out to her, to hold and kiss away this pain, but something inside me told me to wait until she had finished.
“You know how I feel, Alec. You’ve been excluded from others, but only because you appear different with your beauty and intelligence. But I appear normal, don’t I? You’re the first person who hasn’t turned from me and my offer of friendship. I knew then that I would love you even if you could never return those feelings.” A tear slid down her cheek and that alone drove me over the edge.
I reached over and pulled her against me, cradling her slender body against my own. She wrapped her arms around my waist and cried against my shoulder. I stroked her hair, inhaling the scent of lavender before leaning down to her ear. “But I do love you, Kitari. And you’re not alone, deshi.”
“I know. That’s why I’m crying. I’m so happy, Alec.” She pulled away only slightly just so she could kiss me again. I opened my mouth at her insistence and she slid her tongue inside. I moved mine to meet hers and we gently battled, not for dominance or for power but more for comfort and the assurance that we were together, like when we had embraced after such a long period of separation.
Kitari’s fingers slowly moved to gently tug on my braid, forcing me to break our kiss. “Nani, deshi?” I asked breathlessly.
She grinned as she pulled the rubber band from the end. “Your hair’s a mess, Alec.” She gave another tug, this time releasing my bound hair.
I smirked back as I captured fistfuls of her tousled hair that I remembered brushing before we made love. “You’re one to talk, deshi. But I’m not surprised after last night.”
As she continued to let my braid down, she leaned forward to kiss me again. I let her play with my hair. She had been the only person, other than myself, to touch my hair. As I used to brush hers, she had been the one to teach me how to braid my own. Now it felt strangely erotic for Kitari to run her fingers through my long hair, slowly pulling the braid out one strand at a time.
When she drew away, I could feel the whole weight of my hair, like a silky curtain at my back. I wondered how I must look in her eyes, an effeminately beautiful man with such a long mane. I could tell by her expression that she was awed by what she saw. But what I was staring at wasn’t so bad either.
“Now what, deshi?” I asked as I sat there, naked and hair undone. I knew that with any more of this teasing, I would surely burst.
Kitari seemed to snap out of whatever reverie she had withdrawn into and gave me a once over. “I guess I could help you rebraid it.”
I nodded. “Hai, but it’s such a mess now, I think I may need to wet it down first, deshi.”
“I think we both actually need a shower. Demo…” She trailed off as she began to gnaw on her lower lip.
“Nani?”
She didn’t answer, at least not with words. Instead she reached over and placed both of her palms against my shoulders, gently pushing me back against the futon. I leaned against the pillow and gazed up at her, not knowing what it was she wanted from me at that moment. “Nani?” I asked again, my voice going breathless as her hands increased the pressure at my shoulders.
Kitari loomed over me, her hair hanging down over her shoulder and around her face, its length just enough to brush against me. “I’ve always wanted to see you like this, Alec. I’ve always wanted to know what it would be like to have you this way.”
I smiled up at her. “Well, now you have me, deshi. What do you plan on doing?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?”
*~~~*
As I sorted through the data disks, I found myself humming Toki ni Ai wa, occasionally blurting out snatches of the lyrics. Normally I’m very cheerful at work, but today it just felt as if nothing could go wrong.
I didn’t realize it of course until I was alone in the shower. There’s always been this gap in my life that I had been trying to fill with anime, games, and manga. I’ve always needed to buy more stuff, more manga, more anime, and better game systems. More, more, more… The only women with whom I’ve fallen in love with were fictional and too perfect to exist. I may seem perfect myself, but I am flawed, seriously flawed. But Kitari is the same way. It may seem strange, but it makes absolute sense for the two of us to have fallen in love with one another. And now we are complete.
Now don’t get me wrong, I still love anime and always will. And I don’t think it will be out of habit for me to continue to venture out and purchase more for my collections. But now I have something that has taken a place in my heart. Kitari means as much to me as my collection. And again, it may appear shallow for me to say that she doesn’t mean more or for me to compare her with inanimate objects. But it’s true and I guess you just have to know me to understand what I mean.
I reached over and fingered the still damp braid hanging over my shoulder. Kitari had bound it up again after I had finished my shower and dressed, giving me a kiss goodbye before I left to go home and get changed into clean clothes for work. I gave her my cell number, making her promise to call me tonight so that we could get together again.
I think this was the first time since I started heading Project C that I wanted to go home as soon a humanly possible.
“Toki ni ai wa tsuyoku, hito no kokoro wo kizutsuke mo suru keredo, ah-”
“Gods in heaven, Alex. Are you dying?”
I turned around to find Lulik Lebochov, my assistant in Project C, watching me with a bemused expression. I met the older man’s smile with one of my own.
“Iya.”
Lulik’s gray eyes sparkled with hilarity as he scanned me from head to toe and back again. He finally locked eyes with me before letting out a low whistle. “I didn’t think it was possible.”
I straightened up, a frown crossing over my features as I tilted my head in confusion. “What, deshi?”
The Russian shook his head in disbelief. “I never suspected even once.”
“What, deshi?” I placed my hands on my hips, feeling my temper rise at his avoidance of the question.
Lulik chuckled softly. “That you had the ability to couple with a flesh and blood woman.”
I scowled darkly as he laughed. “It’s not funny, deshi.”
“Sure it is,” he retorted. “For as long as I worked with you, all I heard you talk about was this Shiori person you saw in one of your cartoons. And now it’s obvious that you got laid last night or at least went several rounds with your hand. But I’m betting on the former.”
Pursing my lips, I merely huffed in anger before returning to my task. Lulik may have been seven years older than I, but I was still his superior both at work as well as mentally. Between the two of us, you couldn’t have found an unlikely pair to work together. His interests in this project lie in that his late wife had been sickly. Lulik wished to prevent that from happening to others.
I, myself, wished to find the truth behind the legend of the hagoromo. I grew up listening to the tales told back home in Scotland. It was kind of sad, the story of the nymph who fell in love, giving up her immortality to be with the man she loved. She gave him a gift that was never to be opened, but after hearing a song sung by his children that the gift was a great treasure, he opened it. It contained the garment she had been wearing when she had been a nymph. Sadly, the ending varies from her death to her disappearance.
Kitari told me Japan’s version and I had become intrigued enough to read on all the variations from around the world. That knowledge had been why Kagami chose me to head the project.
But why he chose Lulik to be my assistant is something I will never understand.
Kagami was expecting me soon with a selection of disks for Tooya to choose from and I knew I was going to be late if I continued to trade verbal jousts with my assistant.
However, Lulik couldn’t be so easily disregarded.
“Tell me who the lucky girl is, Alex.”
“Iie. Go away, I’m busy, deshi.” I picked up another disk and placed it with the others I had chosen.
“Getting protective, are we? She must be a good piece of tail, ne?”
I slammed the lid down on the disk case and faced him, determined to tell Lulik to back off about my personal life. But when I saw his eyes shinning not with amusement but with curiosity, all the things I wanted to say got caught in my throat.
Suddenly I understood why he was saying the things he said. Not to hurt me, but because he considered me one of his friends. I had never had a friendship outside of Kitari, but this man who was very professional when it came to the project was seriously trying his best to become my friend, not just an associate.
I sighed as I smiled. “Gomen, Lulik. But I don’t have time to talk right now, deshi. I have to get to a meeting between Kagami and Tooya. You understand?”
He nodded. “Hai. Demo, you’ll have to promise me that we’ll talk about this chick when you return.”
I gave him a melodramatic yet thoughtful look before replying, “I don’t make promises that I can’t keep, deshi.” Lulik laughed as I picked up the case and turned to exit my lab.
*~~~*
“Tooya-san! Tooya-san! Pick a memory, any memory! You’ve got hundreds to choose from!”
The redhead peered at the case I proffered in my hands. “Memory?”
“To help you get closer to Aya,” Kagami answered from behind me.
“You can even become an expert at video games or knowledgeable with anime, deshi!”
“Why would he want to become more like you?” Kagami asked as he swiveled his chair around to face us. “Don’t become confused Tooya. These memories are for information, not to help you recover what you lost. You’ll be assuming an identity, but don’t let your emotions get in the way.”
I glanced over at Kagami as Tooya reached in and selected one of the disks. I wanted to ask what the chief meant by that, but Tooya interrupted. “Now what?”
I faced him again, forcing my smile to cover my unease. “If you would just follow me to my lab, I’ll input the data and then you’ll receive your further orders, deshi.”
“Matte,” Kagami interjected. “Lulik will be escorting Tooya to the lab. I want to have a word with you Dr. Howell.”
I nodded as he reached over to the intercom and buzzed Gladys with his order. Within moments, Lulik arrived to guide Tooya from the office, shooting me a wink from the doorway. I gave him a nervous smile as I was left alone with my boss.
I cleared my throat before asking, “What is it that you want to talk about, chief?”
His placid face gazed at me a moment before he smirked almost cruelly. “You want to know what I had been talking to Tooya about before you made your…entrance, don’t you?”
I gulped. “It’s none of my business, deshi.”
“You’re right, it isn’t. But it will soon become apparent to everyone here.” He leaned forward, folding his hands on top of the smooth teak of his desk. “It seems that the emotionless Tooya has fallen in love.”
“Really?” I answered back, trying to sound nonchalant about it.
Kagami gave a curt nod before continuing. “Hai. It seems that he’s on the brink of betraying us, all for the sake of a girl.”
“Indeed.”
“But not just any girl, Alec. He’s fallen in love with Mikage Aya.”
My jaw hit the floor in shock. “Aya? Your cousin? The Ceres host?”
Again, he gave me a curt nod. “I just wanted you to know that I gave him a firm warning about letting his emotions interfere with the project.”
“That’s good advice, chief. Although I don’t know why you’re telling me this, deshi.” I turned to go but he stopped me again with a word.
“Alec. I want you to heed my advice too.”
I froze in my tracks and looked over my shoulder at Kagami. The dark haired mogul’s face still remained as composed as when I first bounded into his office earlier. Yet his dark eyes shone with the erudition that he knew more than he let on.
“Advice, chief?”
“Don’t let your emotions interfere with the project. I’ve tolerated your obsessions simply because they were harmless. But that ends here. While you are under my employ, you will keep your mind on what’s important.”
For a moment, I didn’t know if he was referring to my anime, or if he knew about Kitari. I ardently wished at that instant that I wasn’t carrying the disk case just so I could shove my hands into my pockets to stop my hands from shaking. Kagami isn’t an imposing man, but he does scare me with the way he thinks. I mean, we’re talking about the guy who was willing to rape his own relative just to fulfill his prerogative.
I gulped again, feeling my throat go dry at the look in his eyes before replying, “H-hai, chief.”
He smirked again. “You may go to your lab now and attend to Tooya’s memory transfer.”
“Hai, chief.” I quickly exited his office, my heart pounding. I would be ever so glad when Kitari calls me later.
~***~
Next Chapter: Evening activities