Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip, that started from this Nippon port aboard this tiny ship. The mate was a mighty sword-slinger, the skipper tall and pale, five passengers set out that day on a three-hour sail, a three-hour sail. The weather started getting rough, the tiny ship was tossed, if not for the courage of the fearless crew, the Noonza would be lost, the Noonza would be lost. They hit the ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle, with Gourrigan, the Red Priest too, the chimera man and his leech, the sorceress, the Trickster and Firia...here on Gourrigan's Isle!

Deep space...The Parallax. The little gods room.

Shuts off screen.

Weirdo: So, you wish to fight? Very well. It is an honorable batchall, and I must respond as such. (Leaves the little gods room and enters the office proper.) Bridge!

Bridge Bunny #1: Yes, Star Commodore?

Weirdo: Set up a secure link to Khan Jorgennson. I must speak with him immediately.

Bridge Bunny #1: Aye, sir. Link established.

Weirdo: Good.

Over the speakers, a voice addresses Weirdo.

Khan Jorgennson: What is it, Star Commodore? I am a busy man.

Weirdo: My Khan, I have been issued a batchall by one Hoowee, dark elf, for a Trial of Grievance.

Khan Jorgennson: The cause of this trial?

Weirdo: Our stories bear an uncanny resemblance in titles, and she believes I took the name from her. In truth, it is coincidence, but that cannot be proven. She wants combat, and as a Ghost Bear, I cannot refuse. I request permission to take my ship to Terra, where I will answer the challenge with honorable combat.

Khan Jorgennson: Very well. You may go. Uphold the Bear's honor, and return victorious.

Weirdo: Yes, my Khan. Parallax out.

Weirdo gets up and enters the bridge.

Weirdo: Okay, crew, I have good news, and bad news. The bad news is that we are returning to Gourrigan's Island.

Bridge Bunnies: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Weirdo: The good news is that we are doing this in order to respond to a challenge to combat against myself, and so there will be a good fight. Also, we will be able to replenish our stores of Funky Fruit.

Bridge Bunnies: WHOOOOHOOOO!!!!!

Bridge Bunny #2: You will be bringing some Heavy Whoop-ass, quiaff?

Weirdo: Aff. The freebirth will not know what hit her. BWUHAHAHA!!!!!!

The rest of the bridge soon indulges in maniacal laughter as the Parallax prepares to jump.

All: BWUHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Weirdo's Note: This is my response to Hoowee's challenge. Well bargained and done. Let none interfere in this.