Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip, that started from this Nippon port aboard this tiny ship. The mate was a mighty sword-slinger, the skipper tall and pale, five passengers set out that day on a three-hour sail, a three-hour sail. The weather started getting rough, the tiny ship was tossed, if not for the courage of the fearless crew, the Noonza would be lost, the Noonza would be lost. They hit the ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle, with Gourrigan, the Red Priest too, the chimera man and his leech, the sorceress, the Trickster and Firia...here on Gourrigan's Isle!

Amelia has learned how to make thought bubbles and is watching her latest Zelgadis fantasy like a TV screen.

She is dressed in a traditional Japanese kimono and her horse is running while she is falling off. Japanese samurai drama music is playing in the back ground. Suddenly, Samurai Zelgadis jumps out and stops the horse.

Amelia: I can't thank you enough for saving me!

Samurai Zelgadis: It was nothing! (He grins and his teeth shine bright)

He starts to walk away dramatically.

Amelia: At least tell me your name!

Suddenly several darts hit the ground by Zelgadis, who back flips away. Zelgadis ducks behind a tree and several more darts hit the tree.

Zelgadis: Hmmm very persistent!

A ninja jumps out with a sword Zelgadis draws his sword and they jump in midair and dramatically clash together making sparks. The ninja falls somewhere in the bushes.

Then Zelgadis looks down to see a frozen desert called a...

Zelgadis: AMITSU!

The screen shows a picture of Zelgadis running dramatically against a background with a setting sun

Narrator: After decoding the Amitsu, Zelgadis learned that the one responsible for the awful dubbing of Sailor Moon was a government spy!

A ninja named Shingo walks in and starts to watch too.

Shingo: Oh boy what happens next!

Amelia: Shhhh this is the best part...And just where did you come from? This is a deserted island!

Neither of them notice Zelgadis standing in the corner and he has that vain thing on his head that anime characters get when their mad. Bam! Pow! Zelgadis slams both of them in a WWF move! Amelia ran out of her hut shouting "Mr Zelgadis why are you so mean to me WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" Shingo: Aww come on this is my favorite episode! Zelgadis tries to blast Shingo but he dodges and disappears with some swirling leaves. Lina had just figured out how to magically create meatballs. The only drawback is she could only create them once a year. This would be the only time in the whole year she could eat something besides coconuts. Lina didn't want Gourrigan or anyone else to get her meatballs. Suddenly Amelia crashed into her knocking the plate of meat balls out of her hands! the meatballs landed in the sand where some kind of pokemon looking thing started to munch on them. The pokemon was incinerated. Lina: AMELIA! LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY DINNER! Amelia: I'm sorry miss Lina! I didn't mean to ruin your dinner! Lina: When I get through with you You'll be done like dinner! Dil Brando, Fireball, Almekia lance, freeze arrow, flare arrow, Dynast Brass! Amelia got blown clear to the other side of the island! Amelia: w-w-why are they s-so mean to me? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! Suddenly Amelia heard a loud thump and saw a big gray monster type creature sit down next to her. Amelia:AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! Then it shrunk down to her size and in a goofy sounding voice it said "I saw what happened with you and Zelgadis! My dad taught me to stand up for my self! You need to stand up for your self!" Amelia: How do I do that and how did you shrink? Minya: How I shrunk is special effects. Oh no it's Gabara! A big blue freaky monster comes bounding out of the jungle. He's about 90 feet tall. Minya grows back up to normal size he tires to fight but Gabara beats him up very badly and electrocutes him and tosses him up in the air. Minya lands on top of Amelia flattening her into the sand. Gabara bounds off into the jungle. Amelia: Why are there giant monsters and ninjas loose on this island? Destructo Dustpan: Ahh I was wondering when you would ask that question! I brought some of my buddies to your island. Amelia: I should of known you were behind this! Only a dustpan as evil as you could think up something so nefarious! Destructo Dustpan: Me nefarious? OHOHOHOHO! Amelia: Stop laughing like that it's scary! Destructo Dustpan: My reasons for being here are 100% just! I'm going to help you build your self esteem and help Godzilla get his revenge. A kid with a bear and an ax steps out from behind him. Destructo Dustpan: Minya and Kintaro are going to help you live like a man! Kintaro: That's right! Do you want them to boss you around forever? You've got to stand up for yourself you've got to be a man! Amelia: Your right! In the name of justice I shall grow up to become a great man! Amelia stands in a dramatic pose holding Kintaros ax faceing the setting sun. Kintaro: Cliched but to the point now we shall begin your manly training! Minya: Yeah lets teach her how to blow glowing but ineffective smoke rings out of her mouth! Kintaro: Yeah.... I mean no you dummy! Being manly is more then smoke rings! You gotta make a name for yourself! Go out and hunt down the mozuko or that dragon! Amelia: Yeah! I'm going to hunt down the mozuko and dragon and be a man! Destructo Dustpan: But before you do that heres something you might wanna know.. He wispers something in Amelias ear Suddenly a certain Kitsune who shall remain nameless walks out in front of them. Nameless Kitsune: Amelia how can you fall for this? Don't you see that these people are trying to enforce the sterotype women can't help them selves? They always say that woman has balls whenever she does something brave! Why don't they ever say she has ovaries? Were being opressed by the man! Kintaro: Hey now! You can't talk to me like that! Go to the kitchen and get me a cold beer and a sandwich woman! The nameless Kitsune is about to beat up Kintaro but Destructo Dustpan appears between them. Destructo Dustpan: Hey now no violence until the next scene. Nameless Kitsune you came to late Amelias under my rainchecks influence! He points out a raincheck stuck on her back that has the words kick me written on it. He sticks another raincheck on the kitsunes forehead that says kick me Nameless Kitsune: You fiend! your going to here from my lawyer! Xellos was sitting under a palm tree doing nothing when suddenly he was hit by a Ra-tilt! Xellos was strong enough to resist the blast but it did hurt. Xellos: What the hell? Amelia: You who spread the seeds of chaos across the world I shall destroy you so I can live like a man! Xellos: What the hell? Amelia: Darkness beyond twilight crimson beyond blood that flows, etc... Xellos disappears before it hits and it blows a big giant crator into the island! Xellos appeared in front of Lina Xellos: How could you teach Amelia to use the dragon slave? She'll blow up the island! The dragonslave was supposed to be secret from her! Lina: Me? I didn't teach her! It must of been Sylphiel! Sylphiel: Not me! Lina: It was too you! Nobody else here knows the dragonslave! Xellos: Sylphiel according to the law of the jungle revealing any secret to Amelia is punishable by DEATH! We shall convene a peoples court at noon to decide on punishment! Sylphiel: It wasn't me I swear! O.J did it! It was O.J! Sylphiel is dragged away by the guards and put in jail. Firia walked out to see Michael the red priest and Destructo dustpan wrestling with each other trying to get at a wallet! Destructo Dustpan: You still ow me! Why didn't you give me my money? Michael: I was dead! Destructo Dustpan: That's no excuse give me your money! Destructo Dustpan puts all four magic dustpans together and fires a beam that misses Michael and fly's off into the ocean. On the island of bishounen they were rebuilding the island from when it got blown up when Ranma looked up in the sky. A big red beam came flying down and hit the island of bishounen blowing it up again! Michael runs off into the jungle with Destructo Dustpan chasing him. something feels wrong! Firia sees Amelia outside casting a spell! It looks like she's casting the dragon slave! Firia starts to run away and the dragonslave hit's her hut blowing it up along with another good chunk of the island! Firia shows up at Sylphiels jail house with her mace looking very crispy "Let me at her! I'm going to bash her head in!" Lina and Zelgadis hold Firia back. Suddenly Amelia appears on top of a palm tree. Amelia: I am here to destroy the dragon and Mozuko! Zelgadis: somethings wrong here Amelias even crazier the usual! Destructo Dustpan: Yeah I stuck one of my rainchecks on her back with a little bit of suggestions from my buddies Kintaro and Minya she's decided to live like a man! Lina sweatdrops Amelia jumps down and prepares to fire the dragonslave. Kintaro walks up behind her and pulls off the raincheck. Amelia: Wha... What the hell am I doing? Kintaro: Oh the shame! I have realized my errors! Surely I am lower then the beasts! I don't care what you say! I won't say anything! Amelia: You chauvinist poop head! Kintaro chases after Amelia swinging his ax! Amelia: I thought you weren't going to do anything! Kintaro:No I wasn't going to say anything take that! (wooosh!) Suddenly Angilas from Godzilla comes up and steps on both Amelia and Kintaro squishing them into the sand. Angilas walks off into the jungle. Destructo Dustpan: Well now that was fun !Time for something special! Say Zelgadis... I was talking with this guy awhile back who said that whenever you get extremely upset you never cry you just look really cool and say damn. Why is that? Zelgadis: What it wasn't enough to unleash Godzilla and Urusei Yatsura characters on our island? Now your going to ask me stupid questions! Pulls an odd looking statue out of his bag it looks like a statue of the energizer bunny Destructo Dustpan: Meet the secret oracle of FIC! If it touches someone with it's nose it'll tell their secrets! Xellos: Keep that blasted thing away from me! Xellos disappears. Destructo Dustpan looks at Zelgadis who starts to run away but he flings the statue at Zelgadis. It's nose touches the back of his head. The statue falls to the ground and it starts to print paper. It reads Secret # 1: Xelas Metallium is Zelgadis's mom Zelgadis sweat drops Destructo Dustpan and Xellos both hug Zelgadis shouting "Brother!" Zelgadis: Get off me you freaks! I'm not your brother! Secret# 2: Zelgadis is really princess Amythest of the lost kingdom of Therlion. But at an early age Rezo turned her into a man to hide her from monsters. Zelgadis just looks really cool and says "Damn!" Zelgadis: That isn't true Rezo? Please say it's a lie! Rezo: I neither confirm nor deny the allegation. Destructo dustpan: How dare you turn my sister into a man! Zelgadis: I'm not your sister! Destructo Dustpan: Turn her back or be destroyed! Destructo Dustpan summons the dustpan of nightmares and threatens to chop Rezo in half with it. Rezo: I can't do that without my staff that ax wielding kid took it! Zelgadis: Nobody's turning me into anything! Secret # 3: Zelgadis is secretly in love with Xellos! Zelgadis breaks down and starts crying! Destructo Dustpan: So Xellos... Just what are your intentions with my sister? Xellos: Errr.... That's a secret! Zelgadis: Their all lies I say! Lies! Amelia: Oh Zelgadis I never knew! Even though your the son of a dark lord, even though you used to be a woman and even though your gay I will always love you! Zelgadis starts to cry again. Gourrigan picks up the oracle and says "Hey guys it's a FIC oracle. That means those aren't real secrets their things people wrote about Zelgadis in fanfiction! Zelgadis : Wow your a life saver Gourrigan! Destructo Dustpan: Aww so that means I don't have a sister. They all walk away and nobody notices that FIC is spelled thick Destructo Dustpan walks out on the beach. Lina: Hey why is the title called Godzillas revenge? He didn't get his revenge on anyone in this story. Hey where'd that bridge come from? A large bridge with cables has appeared out of nowhere. Dean Devlin , Roland Emerich and Joel Shumacher are flying over the Island in a helicopter. Dean Devlin: Ahhh this will be wonderful! I big budget movie with cgi lizards depicting the battle with Shabranigdo! Except lets have him get tangled up in that bridge where jet fighters blow him up instead of the giga slave! Joel Shumacher: Lets have Jim Carry play Xellos. Roland: But Xellos wasn't around during Shabranigdos ressurection. Joel: Who cares about continuity lets just have Jim Carry play him! Suddenly Godzilla comes out of the ocean and fries the helicopter with his breath. The flaming helicopter plunges toward the bridge getting tangled in the cables. Several jet fighters fly overhead and blow up Dean Devlin Roland Emerich and Joel Shumacher with Harpoon missiles. Destructo Dustpan: Ahhh that felt really good! Xellos walks up to Zelgadis and says "Hey sis !" Zelgadis punches his face in and walks away Xellos: That man sure has ovaries!