Title... We Kinda Need One

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip, that started from this Nippon port aboard this tiny ship. The mate was a mighty sword-slinger, the skipper tall and pale, five passengers set out that day on a three-hour sail, a three-hour sail. The weather started getting rough, the tiny ship was tossed, if not for the courage of the fearless crew, the Noonza would be lost, the Noonza would be lost. They hit the ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle, with Gourrigan, the Red Priest too, the chimera man and his leech, the sorceress, the Trickster and Firia...here on Gourrigan's Isle!

Title... We Kinda Need One - Part One
The Three-Way Duel Between...Hoowee the Dark Elf, Weirdo God of Insanity and Anjin-Sama. (With some intervention by Oni.)

Hidden away in her conveniently hidden HQ Hoowee the Dark Elf cackled softly to herself. Yes! Weirdo and Anjin had both answered to her challenge and now she could have her revenge... or get beaten to a bloody, lumpy, pile of pulp by two rather peeved guys, but she had plans to try and prevent this which she was of this very moment setting into motion. Leaning in over her monitor of Gourrigans, Hoowee started typing in a series of words. Tap, tap, tap. Fingers flying over the keys in a mad frenzy of planned revenge.

T.V.: So, you've come to look at the beast have you?

Hoowee: ARG!!!! BOB TURN THAT T.V. DOWN!!

Hoowee screamed at her Minion-for-the-duration-of-the-fic, swivelling around in her green comfy chair to throw an empty packet of banana chips in her general direction.

Hoowee: Never... and I repeat NEVER watch disney here. It is an evil worse than spaghetti.

Sailor Bob stuck her tongue out at Hoowee from where she was sprawled out on the floor and thhbbbed.

Bob: Well bugger you Hoowee. And not in the having sex with animals way. If you're going to be in such an evil mood today I'm leaving... and I'm taking the t.v. with me!

and with this she disappeared in a swirl of pastel bubbles and stars.

Hoowee: EEK! No! Not my t.v.! Oh I'm doomed!

Hoowee sobbed shamelessly into the back of her chair. Suddenly the 'Oh no we've smegged up' alarm started going off, startling Hoowee into jumping a couple of feet into the air.

Hoowee: Egad! They've arrived!

She watched her video feed of the beach for a second then hastily collected her mini-floating lap-top and typed in the words 'Beam me up, Scotty.' If she couldn't have Bob teleport her places she'd just have to rely on other means to get her where she wanted to go. Idly she wondered how the other duellist's would deal with the horde of starved, crazed, face-eating weasels she had sent their way. Oh well, that was their problem.

***

hhmmm Anjin thought did I just hear the call of a starved crazed face eating weasel? Anjin notices the pack of starved, etc. charging his way pulls out his weasel prostitute(c) and tosses it away from him all the weasels stop and chase the weasel prostitute congregating around it. Anjin then proceeds to pull a steamroller out of his sleeve and about the time the weasels begin throwing money and taking off their pants they all suddenly become delicious road waffles then pulls out a napalm launcher and fires a few in the direction of Hoowee's HQ. Anjin having made a defensive and offensive move finds a random palm tree to blow the crap out of. tree found. Anjin lifts his arm and 20 small metal explosive afropicks fly out of his sleeve slamming into the palm tree tearing it to shreds then "blow the crap out of it"

Anjin:heh heh heh this should be entertaining.

***

Hoowee lands on the beach after having a nice cup of tea, earl grey, aboard the enterprise to find the destruction of her not so conveniently hidden HQ.

Hoowee: What the... NO!!

Her scream tore the heavens and they rained down... green comfy chairs.

Hoowee: Oh my poor HQ. It's gone... utterly destroyed! But it was conveniently hidden, how did this happen? Oh I feel so depressed... but then that's what a good floating mini laptop is for. Curing depression.

And with that said she wiped it out of her cargo pants pocket, reclined in one of the many comfy green chairs lying about and typed some mysterious message... Muttering to herself her will became reality with every word she wrote.

Hoowee: The weasels failing to do any grievous bodily damage to Anjin are sent back into the mysterious void from whence they had come only to be replaced by rabid Kero-chans from Card Captor Sakura, such a lovely shojo anime.

Appearing above Anjin the cute little rabid creatures fell upon him knawing on any piece of exposed flesh they could find... crawling up his strange sleeves to find a nuclear war-head that Anjin had been keeping for a special occasion and accidentally setting it off, blowing the poor prince of kitsune up in a mushroom cloud.

HooweeTake that evil one... by the way, where's the god of insanity? What about Oni-sama... ooh... Oni-sama!

Hoowee starts looking around for her trenchcoated demon.

***

Anjin emerges with a rather annoyed look on his face.

Anjin: Fine you want to fight like that eh

Pulls laptop out of sleeve of sleeve and types a bit hooks up to the internet and then hits send Hoowee looks on the screen of her mini floating laptop and sees the "Chibi Anjin Virus" on her desktop there is no defence against this virus since it is magical she watches in pure horror as the chibi anjin on her desktop proceeds to eat all of her programs, memory, Ram anything that was stored on her computer until there is just a black screen with a chibi anjin who looks really full the words "ugh I'm full" appear over his head in a thought bubble then he explodes 1 second later the computer explodes leaving Hoowee without a mini floating laptop and with a rather charred face and hands

Anjin: hahe

Then presses the self destruct button on his computer and tosses it to Hoowee it explodes way before it hits her now that he's just rubbing it in he pulls the "hakari no mallet" out of his sleeve and beats Hoowee senseless

Anjin: had enough?

***

A rather battered Hoowee sits up and looks down in dismay at the bits and pieces of her one time lap-top. Her blue eyes overflow with tears and run over her cheeks to land on the uncaring sand.

Hoowee:No... I will not have had enough until you have paid for your heinous crimes. You destroy my home, you kill my laptop and now you mallet me?!?! Be prepared for Hoowee the Dark Elf's secret attack!! (only to ever be used in times of great need... like now. ^.~ v)

Standing up suddenly Hoowee points at Anjin, her eyes slowly filling up in a red blood colour. Suddenly she points to the sea... then the trees... then back up the beach at the castaway's hut's... then back to Anjin, who by now is thoroughly confused...

Anjin:What does pointing do?

Hoowee:Kukukuku!!! I am poking holes in the air so that all the fairies will escape!!!

This said Hoowee points one last time at Anjin and with this point a hole in the air appears, growing larger and larger until something... or rather someone falls out.

Howwee:Right! Let me introduce you to Sesshoumaru (more commonly called 'Fluffy' in the IY circle) He is a full youkai (demon) from Inu Yasha... quite powerful and quite Bish...

Hoowee goes up to Fluffy and snuggles in.

Hoowee:I do love my Bish... even if he is a gay-one-armed-poof.

Sesshoumaru growls something foul under his breath and pushes Hoowee off of him. A rather disgruntled Hoowee steps back and then smirks.

Hoowee: Face the wrath of one of my many Bish Anjin!

Sesshoumaru grins evily and leaps at Anjin, his toxic flower claw (gay or what?) stretched out in front of him ready to dissolve the kitsune prince into a gooey puss-like ooze.

***

Anjin:Yeah I guess that does sound pretty gay.

Anjin had a plan to deal with something like this he disappears into his sleeve which also disappears the confused youkai turns his head wondering how the kitsune had disappeared but this head turn cost him he flys past the stop where Anjin was and slams into the sand skidding about 50 feet. Anjin re-appears on top of the volcano on the island. Anjin begins to power-up DBZ style the grass and sand around him are blow outwards orange ki energy is coming up around him in waves the ground splits and cracks around him little things of earth start floating in the air the orange energy stops coming up in waves and completely engulfs. Anjin a long sorrowful howl escapes the energy the energy goes back down to waves but now Anjin is changing. His ears become larger his tail longer then it splits into seven. He now has orange fur all over his body he grows claws also he a true snout and all the teeth in it become sharp and pointy his feet get larger he then tips up so he's just walking on the toes (like a werewolf). His haori and hakama shrink so they look like black shorts and a black thing like valgarv wears but the spell of the haori stays at his wrists (you can tell because when he moves there are black flickers around his wrists) so now he can pull things out of mid air instead of the sleeve and in a blinding flash of light the ki energy is gone but in that flash the dragon on the back of his haori/t-shirt becomes a fox head Anjin pulls back his lips and smiles an evil smirk.

Anjin:Now prepare to deal with a super kitsune

With this said he jumps off the volcano an in mid air disappears re-appears behind Hoowee bringing his hakari no mallet down towards her head with incredible speed but her elf intuition was faster she pulls out a sword and stops the mallet of light Anjin jumps back and waits for her to move. She whistles and the rather pissed youkai comes charging at Anjin who sees the lumbering youkai and contemplates whether or not to fight (as if it where a question) jumps backwards about 20 feet and then upwards spinning the hakari no mallet for more upwards force waits for the youkai to try to stop. Then when it does brings the mallet down on it's head then jumps back waiting to see if it will re-act or fall down the wind blows crickets chirp and all is silent....

***

Hoowee stares in some shock at the sword in her hand.

Hoowee: When the hell could I do things like this? Teleportation is more Bob's thing... oh well, who am I to say no when an enemy gives me a weapon! ^.~ v

Suddenly she notices Anjins super form... and how he's about to mallet her fluffy bish.

Hoowee:ARG! Not my Fluffy!

Peeved she throws her sword straight at the unsuspecting kitsune prince, aiming for his heart, seeing in her head the sword as it pierces his furry hide... only to find that she's not the best aim in the world as it falls some many metres from it's intended target.

Howwee: Oh BUM!

Poking a hole in the air in front of her bish, sending him away from the big nasty thing and back to the land of the fairies.

Hoowee:"Oh you big WEENIE! Now I no longer have my bish!"

Hoowee starts sobbing... yet again. Leaning down she picks up the sword Anjin so nicely gave to her and takes up a fighting stance.

Hoowee I don't like to fight, but you're forcing my hand Anjin... I'm gonna KILL YOU!

Unfortunately it's at this moment that some huge... ship thingie lands on top of Anjin, doing a 'wicked witch of the west' on him.

Hoowee: Ow... That's gotta hurt.

She pokes at Anjins twitching feet with her army boot. Taking in the ship she suddenly realises what's happening.

Hoowee: Ooh! Ooh! This is Wierdo's ship! YAY! He's arrived. Hmm... right, must set crazed, starved, face-eating weasels after him, kukukuku!

And with this she scrawled some words in the sand and then runs off to hide behind a tree and watch what her mischief does to the God of Insanity...

***

Weirdo steps off the DropShip, and heads towards the village, Staff of Zug(c) in hand.T HWACK! THWACK!! And THWACK!!! some more!!!

Weirdo: What's with all the fuzzy worms, and why do they want to french me?

***

Hoowee: Oh... this is gonna not work... why do they always, always, get rid of the weasels with such ease? Oh life is unfair.

Hoowee sighs and leans against the tree in self defeat.

Hoowee: Wait a minute, self defeat?! NO WAY! I am not defeated yet! I still have the lovely sword that Anjin gave me! kukukukuku! I need to use this to my advantage... but how?

Thinking hard Hoowee had a brain wave a very rare occurrence. Taking the tip of the sword she etched some words into the trunk of the tree, giggling with glee at her new plan o' doom. Morphing the sword became the sacred sword from X/1999. Throwing it up in the air it spun around in a spiffy manner, psychic streams spiralling away from it. Pointing towards the sacred sword Hoowee poked another hole in the fabric of the universe bringing forth Kamui, the ultimate Bish. *Hoowee's eyes sparkle*

Hoowee: Go forth my Bish and destroy the world! Um... actually no, just destroy that God of Insanity... kukuku!!"

Hoowee laughed madly. Kamui grimaced at the manic elf but unfortunately she had control of him through her power of words, therefore he must obey. Death in his lovely, gorgeous, sexy, umm... eyes, he stepped out to face the evil copywriter god.

***

As Weirdo headed for the village, Kamui stepped out of the forest.

Weirdo: Kamui? What are you doing here?

Kamui: Hoowee summoned me, and is forcing me to fight you.

Weirdo: So, she sends others to do the fighting for her, huh? Dirty little wench. I will crush her! *remembers that Kamui is still there, and about to attack* Oh, yeah, you. Hmmm...I do not have anything against you, and I think some friends of mine like you, so I will be merciful.

As Kamui charges towards Weirdo, he feels a slight pressure on his neck. Moments later, he falls over unconscious. Hoowee runs out of the forest to Kamui's side.

Hoowee: Oi! What'd you do to my Bish?

Weirdo: Telekinetic pressure on his carotid artery. An easy way to remove him from the fight without causing unnecessary damage. He would never have gotten through my autoshield to actually hit me, much less the combat-level shield I have up now. I doubt you could manage that either. I doubt you have much power anyway, otherwise you'd have attacked me yourself, like a warrior instead of the cowardly manoeuvring you've been doing. Prepare to feel pain, freebirth. Pok�voice!

A lot of cool special effects and sounds occur.

Weirdo: You have now been cursed with the vocabulary of a pok�mon. You are now unable to say anything but your own name.

Hoowee: Hoo? Hoowee. HOOWEE!!!!!

Weirdo: Too bad magic spells are voice activated, quineg? *throws a kitchen sink at Hoowee, then summons his Surge Cannon(c)*SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRGE!!!!!

***

Oni emerged from one of the dark charred remains of Hoowee's former HQ.

Oni: What the hell do you guys think you're doing?!? You can't get away with anything here! You got it?

And with that he snapped, a hole in the fabric of space and time appeared in front of him and suddenly a red wave of a furry mass poured from it almost like water, but every single object in this mass was an individual with tiny little bug eyes and graduation caps as well as a single foot with something sticky on their feet if a little paper is pulled off. Yes he had unleashed a swarm of weebles onto the island! The furry little critters ran all over the island sneaking into every little nook and cranny spying on everything at once.Oni then established a psychokinetic link so that he could tell every little thing going on on the island. As the battle continues between Hoowee and weirdo...*flash to hoowee and weirdo, pan, zoom etc...*

Hoowee: Hoo weeeeeee! hoo! (Translation: You will die for this!)

Weirdo: MWahahahaha! By the power of Zug(c) you shall be smitten!

Cut back to different parts of the island.

***Lina taking a bath at some waterfalls**

Lina: ahh what a perfect What the?

A bunch of Weebles swarm into the area and latch onto palm trees rocks and everything else near by. a few of them are staring at Lina but they can't do anything else since they're just furry puffballs with eyes.

Weeble: Weeeeeeble!

Lina: Ahhh Anata wa Hentaii!!!! FIREBALL!!!

A few weebles are blown away only to be replaced by more in a few seconds

*Pan view to Naga just approaching the falls*

Naga: Ohohoho... WHAT the hell?!?

*A weeble lands right between her cleavage from the previous blast, it's paper has come off and it's feet are perfectly stuck right where it is*

Weeble: Aiiiiiiihahahiiiiiieeeeehahaha!!!!

Naga covers her ears screaming "AHHHH what a horrible little creature what a horrible little laugh AHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

**Cut view to a tree where we can see only a camera lens and the glint of golden bell balls and a faint glimmer of sunglasses**

Voice of someone who is in terrible lighting: And this part of the documentary shows the ritual courtship of Weebles to the females of other species...

Camera: Whiiirrrrr...

*click**

Zoomed shot from camera's point of view to Weeble in Naga's cleavage which is now shaking alot since naga is jumping around and screaming.

***cut back to camera lens**

The figure emerges from the view of the darkened lighting and it can be seen as...None other Than Loki! The Norse god of mischief! But if he's here... who else is?

**cut shot to the far end of the island**

Phibrizo is standing on a rock in front of the ocean, a large wave cascades up behind him and does a really cool splashing effect background thingy. in front of him is a small horde of about 1000 weebles.

Phibrizo: Listen to me army of weebles!

Weeble Army: Wee wee weeble! weeeeee!

*chittering much like a tribal clan or something*

Phibrizo: We will conquer this island and everything on it while the guest writers battle! Muahahahaha! And while We're at it I can also get a great tan and stock up on funky fruit!

Weeble army: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

*much cheering*

**Cut shot to Gourry and Lina in a hut playing checkers with Xellos... well Lina is playing Checkers with Xellos and Gourry is watching**

Xellos: And another king for me...

Lina: Xellos how do you ALWAYS do that?

Xellos: Sore wa...

*suddenly a weeble hops into his mouth as a bunch of others swarm into the room*

Gourry:Hey what are these things? *he picks one up and pulls off it's paper on the feet* How weird!

*he sticks it to Xellos' forehead before he can protest

Xellos: *spitting a weeble out of his mouth* Ahhh what in the world is the meaning of this!

Gourry sticks another weeble onto Xellos' arm Xellos gets mad and sticks one to gourry's face. Gourry sticks another one onto lina's face (she just finished bathing and now has another weeble problem... yick)

Lina: Damnit I can't get away from these things!!!

Xellos: You know what they are? *sticks one to gourry's arm*

Lina: I fireballed a bunch of them earlier...

**sudden cutshot to Amelia who is sneaking up on Zelgadis who's sleeping under a tree, she's carrying a small bunch of flowers she gathered for him**

Amelia: Oh Zel-chan!!! I have something for you!

Zelgadis: ugh... what is *a weeble hops onto his face* AHHHH get it off get it off get it off AHHHHHH!!!!

Amelia: Ahh! Don't worry Mister Zelgadis I'll help you!

She lunges forward and tries to smash the weeble, however it merely squishes down when she hits it and she ends up punching Zel in the face hurting both her hand and his face.

Zelgadis:Agh! Amelia what the heck are you doing?!?

Amelia: Owwww! Where did all of these creepy little things come from?

The weebles all give them a combined stare.

**cut shot to Sylpheil, who is already surrounded by weebles**

Sylpheil: Kawaiiii kawaiii kawaiiiiiii!!!! Oh these little things are soooo kawaaaiii!!!!

**immediate cut shot to Martina and Zangalus' hut Overhead shot**
**immediate cut shot to Martina and Zangalus' hut Overhead shot**

The weebles advance upon the hut, a few stream inside and in a few moments...

Weebles: AHHHH SHIMMATA!!!!

They swarm out and leave that hut alone. Meanwhile back at the scene of the fight...

Oni: Haha! Now that I have unleashed a swarm of all seeing weebles I can keep track of everything! Muahahaha! Damn I'm smooth!

Something went *squish* under Hoowee's boot...

Hoowee: Hoowee! (Translation: Ick! I've got weeble on my boot.)

Hoowee stomps down a bit more splattering the poor weeble who had the unfortunate luck to get sent to spy on the duel good and proper. Wait a minute... wasn't Weirdo attacking the poor defenceless elf with a Surge Cannon Thingie? Hoowee remembers just in time to look up and duck out of the way of the attack.

Hoowee: Hoo-WEE-hoo! (Translation: Oi! That was nasty! And you coulda got my Bish!)

Doing a quick point she sends Kamui back out of harms way but has the good sense to grab the sacred sword and hang onto it for future use. Suddenly, there's a slight whistling in the air... as if something is rushing towards the dark elf at a frightening speed.

Hoowee: Hoowee? HOOWEE!!!

Moving faster then even she thought possible, Hoowee manages to get out from under the flight path of the thrown DropShip, bumping into Weirdo's 'combat-level-shield' and bouncing off of it, bringing a smirk from the god of Insanity.

Weirdo: "Told you so."

He grins. Raising an eyebrow in disgust, Hoowee gives him the finger... then eeps as the DropShip is heaved out of the way to show a rather annoyed kitsune behind it.

Anjin: "Prepare to DIE Hoowee!!"

Anjin growls deep in his throat. Nobody lands a DropShip on him and gets away with it! Hoowee gives a sickly smile and points at Weirdo, meaning to indicate that it wasn't HER who landed on the kitsune but rather the Insane one. Instead she accidentally opens a hole in the air, sucking up the god of Insanity and sending him through to her 'Couch of Bish'.

Hoowee: Eep! How evil! I just sent a non-bish to my couch! Not that he wasn't that bad looking... but STILL!

Hoowee shrieked... then a funny look flashed across her face. Wow! Anjin had accidentally saved her from the evils of the Pokevoice by addressing her by her name! Whatta sweetie! Oops... this is a duel... he can not be a sweetie... he's the enemy.Straightening up, Hoowee smiles at Anjin, her crimson eyes wide.

Hoowee: I'm sure His Weirdness will soon find a way back here... but in the meantime...

The elf hefts the sacred sword and swings it at the kitsune.

Hoowee: I'm gonna start fighting my own battles!"

Startled at this current turn of events, (doesn't Hoowee normally run away from fights?) Anjin barely manages to move out of the way of the sword. Hoowee, unused to actually fighting is pulled off-balance by the momentum of her swing. Staggering slightly she whips around to find Anjin already recovered from his shock and has his claws outstretched to cut her to ribbons. 'Not likely.' the elf thinks to herself, bringing the sacred sword up again and swinging it through one of the black flickers around the kitsune's wrists.---A weeble who had the good sense to watch the duel from far away with a pair of binoculars shuts its eyes in intense pain as a brilliant light flashes across the island

***

Anjin opens his eyes and relizes something is missing he looks at his right wrist and sees that his spell that shall remain nameless for the moment is gone and that Hoowee has destroyed 12 years of work

Anjin: Prepare to die Hoowee.

Anjin pulls his familys sacred katana out of his sleeve and tucks them into his belt he pulls out naraku the main katana,

Anjin: Naraku o!

The blade turns completly black and the very fabaric of time and space is bent towards the blade he swings and a black shimmer flys towards Hoowee it hits her and passes her not damaging her because at the moment it was not desired but it did take her sword and put it into Anjin's spellha

Anjin: How to you like that hoowee but that is only the begining go Heero-chu.

A poke ball flys out of the spel and pops open where it open stands Heero yui covered with explosives and what looks like a self detonate button on his wrist before Hoowee can react Heero-chu with his lightning fast speed and skill has covered her with explosives.

Anjin: Ok Heero-chu .....Pull!

Heero presses a button and Hoowee is blown sky high Anjin pulls out his modifed beam buster rifle fit to his "super" size and fires the first shot hit Hoowee dead on as she's astill going up the second misses but that's ok as she's falling back he fires the last shot which also nails her dead on tossing her back up in the air and then she falls to the ground

Anjin: hmm I over did it a bit

Casts a healing spell on Hoowee. Hoowee can now walk but is still stunned Hoowee gets up and stares at Anjin in a rather peeved way.

Anjin: ok I might allow you to beat me but first you have to bow to me faith-full-y, bow to me dut-i-fully.

Chibi bish rise up out of the ground, awash in flames as bish in trench coats frolic around hoowee distracing her.

*****

Suddenly Oni appeared behind Anjin using his weeble spies to help him with the location of his teleport

Oni: Oh my god! Hoowee looks wasted!

He only gets a groggy look from her as Anjin turns to face him

Anjin: I told you you better not join up with her...

Oni: I have the right to do what I want this is my...

Suddenly the Queen of Swords pops up in front of him in holographic form shaking her head before dissapearing. Oni sweatdrops.

Oni: Err. I'm in charge here for now because the queen has allowed me to use the island. I don't own it but I reserve the right to do whatever I feel like doing.

Anjin sweatdrops

Oni: And now under the charge of abusing a woman I am here to punish you. punish you well indeed.

Anjin: Hahaha, fool, you can't hope to defeat me.

Oni: I only said I would punish you. *he pulls out a can of sourkrout*

Anjin: What are you doing with that?

Oni: Just a little of this and that.

*snaps* Kent pops up behind Anjin and points a finger at him. anjin is now unable to move thanks to Kent's Mazoku powers. A chibi xellos head pops up in a little thought bubble.

CxH: Hey what dark lord is he the preist or general for?

Kent: I'm Zoamelgustar's preist/general and I'm about as powerful as Xellos is.

Reader (that's you): Oh I get it now.

Anjin: Hey Why aren't you letting me move and what do you have planned?

Oni: Just this.

Oni proceeds to forcefeed Anjin the sourkrout. He feeds him the entire jar and plops another jar from the extradimentional space of his underpants which are the same brand as Martina's underthings.

Anjin: Noooo no more sourkrout! I Hate sourkrout!

Hoowee watches Oni sourkrout torturing Anjin.

Hoowee: Wow he's almost as twisted as I am.

Meanwhile a herd of weebles sweeps into the place where all of the guestwriters areclosely followed by Loki who is filming them.

Loki: And now we see the weebles on the move.

Weirdo turns just in time for a swarm of red fur to completely overwhelm him. A single weeble with a senzu bean hops onto Hoowee's shoulder. Where did it come from? Who knows. As weebles continued to cover the area (they were still spilling from the dimentional hole Oni made much earlier and were increading in number at a phenominal rate) Oni kept force feeding Anjin sourkrout. oh the horror, the horror!

***

A strange swirly gate-type-thingie appears over the group, and Weirdo drops to the ground, dragging one of Hoowee's Bish after him.

Weirdo: HOOWEE! Whatever happened to the honorable duel you challenged me to? You send subordinates to fight me in your place, and then try to banish me to that...couch!!! We will finish this, NOW!!

Before Hoowee can respond, Weirdo's image appears to blur, and is replaced by something else. The 3-meter tall apparition in his place looks like a heavily armored cross between an EVA and a BattleMech's worst nightmare. Sharp spines sprout from its spine, knees, and forearms, which now look like a bayoneted gun barrel with fingers attached to the ends. The shoulders appears to be covered by massive sloping boxes that contain much more than just the joint. The head has no eyes, but does have a mouth full of sharp-looking teeth.(think EVA/Mech/Alien)

Weirdo: This is my heavy-combat form. We will now conclude our duel.

Weirdo picks up the Bish in one "hand", and holds him up in the air.

Weirdo: Unless you want his throat blown across the island, you will do as I say. You will call off all subordinates, human, animated, or otherwise. You will also get Oni to remove his weebles. When that is done, I will release this one, and we will fight an honorable duel according to the precepts of Zellbrigen.You will do this NOW, or I will execute him, then return to your Couch and destroy the ones there. Now JUMP!! MOVE IT!!

***

Hoowee stops and deathstares all three guys.

Hoowee: Wait a minute.

Sees Oni and just HAS to glomp onto him to 'stop' his evil sourcrouting of the kitsune prince.

Hoowee: Oni-sama! I said Wait a minute!

Snuggles in grinning at the chance to restrain her favourite trenchcoat wearing demon.Weirdo, still waving the poor defensless bish around by his long hair, (hmm... Marron from Bakuretsu Hunters I think... yum.) growls something extremely rude and nasty under his breath.

Hoowee: I'm trying to explain stuff here! One, I didn't send you through to my couch on purpose. That was an accident. I'm sorry. (You're not a bish anyway so you should never have gone there) Two, I was starting to fight properly so STOP CALLING ME A COWARD!! Yeesh. Three, I have no control whatsoever over my hot, bish.

Freeing himself from Hoowee's grip Oni starts doing body builder poses in a special spotlight.

The last point is said with tears in her eyes.

Hoowee: Oh this is just pathetic... I don't even have the sacred sword anymore... how the hell am I supposed to fight?

Hoowee glares at Anjin, the evil being who took away said sword.

Hoowee My powers are purely passive/defensive stuff. I think I'm getting the raw end of the deal here."

Both of the challengees exchange glances and the descend upon the poor elf, beating her sensless... or so they think. Stopping mid-punch Anjin discovers he's beating up a weeble, while Weirdo discovers a few of the little fluff balls have somehow stuck to his legs. Appearing behind Anjin and Wierdo, brandishing a rusty old katana Hoowee grins ominously at their confusion, showing of two pointy little teeth. The jewel placed in the middle of her leather headband starts to glow and spark with crimson electricity and the same blood red colour that had filled her eyes washes down along her normally blonde hair.

Hoowee: See. If you two get a powered up form, so do I."

Sitting on the sidelines, eating a packet of banana chips and conversing with the recovering Marron, (Weirdo threw him aside to beat up Hoowee. *sniff*) Oni suddenly realises an oops with the plot.

Oni: Wait a minute! Hoowee said she couldn't teleport... HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!"

The poor confused demon starts running around in circles while Marron just sweatdrops.Hoowee laughs deep in her throat.

Hoowee: Ooh... the elf's got powers no one knew about... plus she carries a mini plot-hole in her other cargo pants pocket.

She pats the Pocket protectively.

Weirdo: So, again you retreat to cower behind words... Face me wench or die!

Hoowee: OI! does this look like cowering?!"

Hoowee spat bringing down the katana in one clean stroke, uttering the dreaded words.

Hoowee: "Tetsusaiga... CUTTING WIND!!"

***

Anjin: you said you have to be neutral in the fights you bastard

Continues beating the crap out of Oni until he hears a sword being unsheathed

Anjin:and this was just getting fundrops

Onis body to the ground and runs towards the noise at top speed although not quite as fast as Zelgadis it's pretty fast he sees Hoowee start the cutting wind and and Anjin jumps up to block the attack with Naraku the sword blade turns jet black and space and time start bending towards it again the attacks clash creating a small explosion both Hoowee and Anjin are blown backwards Anjin lands and rolls but Hoowee hits Oni and Marron knocking all three of them senseless

Anjin: ah that felt good

*******

The smoke clears from Hoowee's first Cutting Wind. Weirdo is still standing, but his right arm is ten feet away. He walks over to the arm, picks it up, and quickly reattaches it.

Weirdo: Impressive. Had I suspected she was capable of such a blast, I would have maintained a combat shield, instead of just the automatic one. I will not make that mistake again.

Weirdo walks over to Anjin.

Weirdo: This duel is turning out to be quite entertaining, quiaff?

Anjin: Yes. Some time later:

Hoowee wakes up, tied securely to a chair. Oni is nearby, also tied up, but still out. Marron is nowhere in sight.

Hoowee: Oi! What are you doing? What'd you do to Oni-kun? Where's Marron-kun?

Weirdo: Oni is unharmed. I sent Marron to be with Jessie. (Weirdo shudders, and Anjin blushes) I am offering you a chance to end this battle now. I offer you hegira. If you accept, I will immediately release Oni, and you will be allowed to depart the battlefield as a defeated opponent, but with your honor intact. Do you accept?

**

Well be continued it the second part of are Gourrigan�s Island fight fic, and I�ll be in too ^_^v
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