Gourrigan's Island The doctor is IN

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip, that started from this Nippon port aboard this tiny ship. The mate was a mighty sword-slinger, the skipper tall and pale, five passengers set out that day on a three-hour sail, a three-hour sail. The weather started getting rough, the tiny ship was tossed, if not for the courage of the fearless crew, the Noonza would be lost, the Noonza would be lost. They hit the ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle, with Gourrigan, the Red Priest too, the chimera man and his leech, the sorceress, the Trickster and Firia...here on Gourrigan's Isle!

The doctor is IN
by Yetika Koneko

Somewhere on Gourrigan's Island... Two people finish building a large chinese/japanese-style mansion... A girl and a boy...

Girl: Okay! All done! Let's find something to do while we wait for the paint to dry Firrou!

Boy(Firro): Uh... Isn't it your turn to guest write this week Yetika?

Yetika: Don't think so... We might have to check with Oni.

We take a breif moment to describe what these two people look like.

***Yetika Koneko***
A girl with her own story... She has purple shoulder-length hair with a grown-out fringe, and has aquamarine eyes (blue-green). She wears a white T-shirt, a pair of blue jeans cut up into shorts, green boots that go up to her knees, and a pair of white cloth gloves tied on with string and have the fore-finger and thumb parts missing.

***Firrou***
A boy who is Yetika's best friend... He has white hair that has the Sephiroth(FFVII) fringe(tm), and is tied back like Hawkeye's (from Seiken Densetsu 3); His eyes are blue, he wears a green T-shirt, blue jeans, and a pair of black shoes.

Now back to the fic...

Somewhere else on Gourrigan's, Oni wakes up from a midday nap and walks out of his office yawning. Unfortunately for him, Yetika is chasing Firrou right outside.

Yetika: Get back here Firrou!

Firro: No way! I know what you're gonna do if I stop running!

Oni: Wha?

A flash sparks in Yetika's hand and a sword that takes resemblance to a light-saber appears. (It's called a zero-ki sword -Yetika)

Firro: Aaaah! Not the sword again!

Yetika jumps, slashes at Firrou, and lands right in front of Oni with her sword just millimetres away from his neck. Oni faints.

Yetika: Ack! Skyrunner-sempai! Gomen nesai!

The screen blacks out along with Oni as Firrou keeps running. Meanwhile, the Slayers gang are planning a way to thwart the GW for the week.

Amelia: Who's turn is it to guest write this time Xellos?

Xellos: It's a secret.

Xellos is promptly kicked into a corner. The slayers then continue.

Lina: Trust HIM to spy on Oni.

Zelgadis: It could be that dark elf Hoowee again...

Gourry: Maybe it'll be one of those robot-riding guys...

Lina: Could be that Dustpan...

Rezo: Maybe it's a new Guest Writer.

The Slayers look at Rezo, who sweatdrops.

Rezo: Naah.

Filia: Maybe Michael the Red Preist will return...

Lina: Maybe you should get a life.

*bonk*

Looks like they have no idea.

A bit later, Oni wakes up to find he's in a hospital bed.

Voice: Would you like some tea?

Oni open his eyes, only to see a short, fat, big-nosed man (who speaks in japanese falsetto) wearing red lipstick and a nun's outfit holding a tray in front of him. His eyes seem to be permanently shut in a top-semi-elipse shape, his eyebrows are the same too.

Oni: ... (help) (Oni: Actually I would be laughing my ass off right now)

Yetika walks into the room.

Yetika: Oh, I see you're awake now. I hope Sister Bismaru didn't scare you.(Sister?)

Bismaru: I'm just offering him some tea.

Yetika: Oh, that's ok, I think.

Oni: Where am I?

Bismaru: You are in mistress' hospital. Inside her place of residence.

Yetika: *sweatdrop* Don't call me that Bismaru. I hate those titles.

Oni: I thought you were just going to build a house with an underground dojo or something. (this was mentioned in the GI message forum earlier -Yetika)

Yetika: We had a lot of space to work with so I decided to build a first-aid area. The staff are people I met during some of my crossovers. Just what is in that tea Bismaru?

Bismaru: Uh... nothing... Just tea...

Yetika gives Bismaru a stern look as she walks over to him.

Oni: What's going on?

Yetika takes the "tea" away from Bismaru and inspects it.

Yetika: *smacks Bismaru into the wall* I TOLD YOU NOT TO SPIKE THE TEA!!!

Oni: *sweatdrops* ... (Oni: Was it spiked with alchohol or funky fruit?)

[END]

Lina: What? already? This barely got started! And why have our personalities been changed? I'm calling a lawyer!

Yetika: Oh shut up. This is my first attempt at Gourrigan's Island fic writing.

The Slayers cast fall over in shock.

Lina: Y-You?

Filia: Hey you! I want Michael back!

Yetika: Feh. Ask him yourself.

Gourry: What happened to that Firri guy you were with?

Firro: That's "FIRRO". I'm right here.

Naga: Ohohohoho! Why didn't I get any lines?

Yetika: Because you're annoying me.

Firro: Uh... Naga annoys EVERYONE, Yetika... That's a bad answer...

Naga: I do not annoy everyone!

Lina: Wanna bet?

Yetika: Oh well... While we're at it we'd might as well have a little adventure... I'm the guest writer remember.

Gourry: Yay! What kind of adventure?

Massive sweatdrops all around.

Yetika: Well, we could go treasure-hunting.

Firro: Yeah, THAT's original.

Yetika whacks Firrou on the head with a baton.

Zelgadis: Where'd that come from.

Xellos climbs out of his bloody corner. (No, I am NOT swearing there -Yetika)

Xellos: It's a secret.

Yetika: Thanks Xellos.

The Slayers pound the mazoku back into his corner with an arsenal of spells, swords, staves and so forth... (Oni: Either Xellos has been temporarily wussified or he's enjoying the pain too much to do anything about it.)

Yetika: This is becoming an adventure in itself.

Firro: This is just stupid. We're only doing this to lengthen the fic.

Lina: Y-You mean the camera's still rolling?

Yetika: In a sense, yesiree. Now I can end this stupid fic. It's long enough now.

Slayers: You won't get away with this!

Yetika: Oh yeah?

[As the ending credits roll, we see Yetika and Firrou being chased around the island by the Slayers. The scene ends up with Yetika and her friend going inside their "house" and locking the door. The incantation for a giga slave can be heard from Lina as "THE END" rolls onto the screen]

A short note from Yetika: Ok. I suck at fic writing. But I need practise to make perfect. So there. Sister Bismaru is from a game series called "Ganbare Goemon", created by KONAMI. There will be more appearances by him. You have been warned.

(Oni: Is Yae gonna be there too? she kicks ass!)

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