Murphy's Love Laws
All the good ones are taken. If the person isn't taken, there's a reason. The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you. Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant. This constant is always zero. The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them. Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position. The best things in the world are free --- and worth every penny of it. Every kind action has a not-so-kind reaction. Nice guys (girls) finish last. The good ones die first. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings. Nothing improves with age. No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again. Sex has no calories. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble. There is no remedy for sex but more sex. Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got. No sex with anyone in the same office. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last. A man in the house is worth two in the street. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow. Virginity can be cured. When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later
