>Lesson number two ...
>
>A turkey was chatting with a bull.
>
>"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the
>turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
>"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
>
>"They're packed with nutrients."  The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and
>found that it actually gave him
>enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
>
>The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
>
>Finally after a fornight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the
>tree.
>
>Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the
>tree.
>
>Moral of the story:
>
>Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
>
>                                    ooOoo
 

>Lesson number three ...
>
>When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.
>
>The brain said, " I should be Boss because I control the whole body's
>responses and functions."
>
>The feet said, " We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him
>to where he wants to go."
>
>>The hands said, " We should be the Boss because we do all the work and
>>earn all the money."
>
>And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until
>finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the
>asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up
>and refused to work.  Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the
>hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and
>the brain fevered.

>Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the
>motion was passed.   All the other parts did all the work while the Boss
>just sat and passed out the shit!
>
>Moral of the story:
>
>You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do.
>

 DILBERT'S LAWS OF WORK
>
> If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.
>
> A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
>
> Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
>
> It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done
> and what you're going to do.
>
> After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month
> than you did before.
>
> The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
>
> You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a
> clipboard.
 

> Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will
> happen to you the rest of the day.
>
> When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never
> talking about themselves.
>
> If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn
> fool about it.
>
> There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the
> boss asks for a ride home from the office.
>
> Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.
>
> Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."
>
> Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.
>
> To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.

> Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is
> supposed to be doing.
>
> Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
>
> If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really
good,
> you will get out of it.
>
> You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your
> desk.
>
> People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
>
> If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
>
> At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the
number
> of pens that person is carrying.
>
> When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
>
> Following the rules will not get the job done.
>
> Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.
>
>  When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by
> reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
>
> No matter how much you do, you never do enough.
>
> The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for
> everything that goes wrong.

If I were asked to enumerate ten educational stupidities,
the giving of grades would head the list...
If I can't give a child a better reason for studying than
a grade on a report card, I ought to lock my desk and go
home and stay there.
 
                        - Dorothy De Zouche

[][][]

The plain fact is that education is itself a form of
propaganda -- a deliberate scheme to outfit the pupil,
not with the capacity to weigh ideas, but with a simple
appetite for gulping ideas ready-made.  The aim is to
make 'good' citizens, which is to say, docile and
uninquisitive citizens.

                -- H.L. Mencken, March 1921