Freddie Prinze Jr. is reportedly proud of his 'prankster' reputation in Hollywood, and loves to brag about his 'hilarious' pranks. Unfortunately for Freddie, what he thinks of as hilarious, the rest of the world considers to be disgusting, terrifying, and disease causing. During a recent interview, Prinze revealed: "Claire Forlani had watched a documentary on serial killers.So I dressed up as one of them - all in black with a T-shirt that I pulled over my eyes. I knocked on her door with a kitchen knife. I apologized to her afterwards. Then there was the time Matt Lillard once thought it was funny if he deficated in my hotel room - and it was. It made me laugh, so I deficated in his trailor, and it made him laugh." Oh, Freddie. You are a real riot. I hope your wife finds you funnier than I do, or else you aren't getting any ass at all. Your precious defication causes all kind of diseases, such as Polio. I bet all those poor bastards on crutches because they got Polio from funny defication pranks are laughing so hard they can barely breathe.
7-05-06 Willie Nelson Bought Himself A Church
Willie Nelson has bought the Methodist Church he attended when growing up in Abbott, Texas. The church building dates back to 1899 and held it's last service in May. Nelson bought the church in hopes of preserving it, and attended a celebration service on Sunday. The celebration brought together longtime parishioners, friends and family (including Nelson's sister) for prayers and gospel music. Nelson greeted old friends in the sanctuary after the service." This has been quite an experience, all these people" he said. "We went to school together, played ball together, dated together." No word as of yet how many joints they smoked together.
7-05-06 Keira Knightley Is Not Anorexic
Despite recent reports claiming Keira Knightley to be anorexic, the Pirates of the Caribbean star insists she does not suffer from an eating disorder. Knightley says "I've got a lot of experience with anorexia - my grandmother and great-grandmother suffered from it, and I had a lot of friends at school who suffered from it. I know it's not something to be taken lightly and I don't." So she has a family history of anorexia, seems to know an awful lot about it, and has jutting collarbones. Maybe she doesn't suffer from an eating disorder, but don't expect me to believe she scarfs down pizza, does a couple of sit-ups in front of the TV, and still has those abs. I may have wasted good money to rent the movie Domino, honey, but I'm not stupid.
7-05-06 Kevin Federline Is A Joke
Kevin Federline is claiming to have released his "single," PopoZao as a joke to lure listeners to his music, then surprise them when his "real shit dropped." Charming, no? Federline says PopoZao was a joke to capitalize on the fact that people were laughing at him. "At first, when I put out PopoZao, people were kinda laughing at me. I did it on purpose so people would look at me exactly the way they did. That way, when I come out with my real shit, people are fucking blown away." When is this guy going to learn that his biggest accomplishment was using the ol' pull and pray for birth control with Britney Spears, and not praying hard enough? And for the record, I was not kinda laughing at you, I was laughing my ass off!
7-06-06 Britney and Kevin, Chaotic- Season Two
Britney and Kevin are reportedly considering signing on for a second season of the trainwreck that was Chaotic. The first season was just so dang successful, y'all. The Federlines feels as though a second season of their show will help squash those pesky divorce rumors. I think this is a great idea, I really do. After all, look at how well having a show about their marriage worked out for Nick and Jessica! The only whole in this theory is that all 5 people who watched the first season ONLY watched it because Britney was still pretty hot. Now? Not so much. Myself, I will pass. There's a good tella novella on Telemundo tonight
7-06-06 Hillary Swank Plays The Blame Game
Hillary Swank is claiming that substance abuse problems contributed to the end of her 7-year long marriage to Chad Lowe. I wonder how it feels to be this guy? First his dad knocks up his mom, and suddenly Chad is the less famous of the two brothers. Then he marries a girl from the local trailor park (she admits that, I'm not making it up), turns her into Cinder-freaking-ella, she wins a couple o' Oscars, and forgets to thank him. Then she leaves his ass and aires his dirty laundry in public. It's not so good to be Chad Lowe right now, I'm guessing. My advice? Take the dirty style spousal support money you'll get out of this, buy a Ferrari, and the ladies will come running. Sure, they are the kind who want money for the first hour up front. But hey, at least it's female companionship. It may be the best you
can get, after all, you're no Rob Lowe.
7-06-06 Paris Hilton Wants To Reproduce
Paris Hilton said in a recent interview that she wants lots of babies. And soon. The heiress reveals that she knows she would be a great mother. Then she adds this little gem: "And I don't want to be an old mom - hopefully it'll happen soon, within the next five years." That would make Paris a whopping 30-years old. I'm pretty sure she has confused the word 'children' with the word 'pets' here. A pet can be skinned and worn as an accessory around her neck or shoulders. (On a related topic, has anyone seen Tinkerbell the dog lately?) Someone should explain to Paris that you cannot do this with a baby. After this, I'm pretty sure she will go back to spreading herpes, I mean her music(?), all around the world and forget about being a mother.
7-06-06 Suri Cruise Probably Does Not Exist
US Weekly magazine reports that along with the public, close friends of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have yet to see 3-month old daughter, Suri. Will and Jada Smith, Lisa Marie Presley, and even fellow Scientologists John Travolta and Kelly Preston are among the couples celebrity friends who have not yet met the newborn. This is promting speculation that Suri Cruise does not exist. I'm ashamed of all of you speculators out there. To say a child is not 'real' is just plain hurtful. Just because Suri doesn't have bones and blood and a beating heart doesn't mean she isn't 'real.' I'm sure Tom doesn't love her any less than his other kids just because she is made of a potato sack wrapped in a pink baby blanket. I'm also sure Tom is a doting papa to that precious sack of potatos. I bet he kisses little Suri's magic markered cheeks every night when he puts her to bed after singing her Scientology approved lullabies.