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Genetically gifted superbaby Shiloh Jolie-Pitt is going to be turned into a wax figure at Madame Tussaud's wax museum. She is the first baby ever to be made into wax for the museum, and reportedly beat out Sean Preston Federline and Suri Cruise for the honor. Shiloh will have her mother's pouty lips and will be placed in an African themed nursery set up. The Angelina and Brad figures will be displayed in the scene with their baby daughter. So, let me get this straight: Shiloh is about two months old, has already made millions on her baby pictures, and is now going to be immortalized into a wax statue. She has accomplished so much more in her short life than I have in my 23 years. I have a cute puppy. And this site. Million of dollars? Not so much. Wax figurine in my likeness for the world to see? Negative. Those bastards. Now if you'll excuse me, it's deep depression time. I have to go put on my pjs, hunt down a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and watch Judge Judy in bed.
7-26-06 Breaking News: Lance Bass Is Gay!
Former N*Sync member Lance Bass has come out of the closet in an interview with People magazine. Apparently, the singer has been the subject of many gay rumors over the years. I'd never heard any of these, but when I was 18 my friend Samantha and I went to an N*Sync concert, and yes, I'm properly ashamed of this now. During the show, Lance winked at us and shook his ass in our faces. Even then, I remember admiring the pretty pink nail polish he wore. It makes more sense today than it did then. Same with his open-toes heels. But this knowledge I am newly equipped with doesn't soothe my hurt feelings. I thought we had something Lance! How could you fake it that way? I guess I'm just a $85 ticket sale to you. I mean, free. Free ticket. I never paid that much to see N*Sync. Nope, not me. Never. I have no idea why I said that. It was a free ticket. Free!
7-26-06 Tori Spelling Is Going To Be Poor
Well, poor by Hollywood standards anyway. Out of Aaron Spelling's reported $500 million fortune, it looks like Tori Spelling is set to inherit less than $1 million of it. Tori's mother, Candy, is the executor of the will and is in charge of dividing up the fortune as she pleases. Being as the two have been rumored to have been estranged and feuding for years, things aren't looking well for Tori. Candy has allotted $200,000 plus $600,000 worth of investments to she and Aaron's only daughter. Candy's manicurist is supposedly getting $25,000 and the Spelling home decorator will get $50,000. Yee-ouch! That's tough. Too bad Dean McDermott didn't know all of this BEFORE he abandoned his wife & childen and ran off to marry Tori. I almost feel bad for the guy.
7-26-06 Misc. BS Stories That Weren't Worth An Entire Entry
**Britney Spears is having a more problematic pregnancy the 2nd time around. According to In Touch Weekly, Britney went into false labor on July 15th. Spears, who is 7 months along, is doing fine now, but has hired a nutritionist to change her eating habbits and help her have a healthier pregnancy. This includes helping her beat her Cheetos addiction and making her eat more vegetables. And no, french fries don't count.
**Are you tired of Nicole Kidman pregnancy rumors yet? Well, it doesn't look like they are going to stop anytime soon. Kidman was spotted wearing a puffy shirt that might have been intended to hide a stomach bump. Or not. Probably she's just a little bloated. Let's give the girl a break, we've all been there. The only thing that could make PMS worse is having the paparazzi there to document every second of it.
**Carmen Electra has recovered from her split with Dave Navarro impressively fast. She has been spotted out and about with Jaime Foxx. The two arrived at the Hollywood club Element, and Foxx was spotten with his arm around Electra, whispering in her ear. Maybe it was just a really loud club and that is the only way she could hear him talking. Or maybe they are having crazy monkey sex. Who knows?!
7-27-06 Orlando Bloom Plays With Dolls
Orlando Bloom and girlfriend Kate Bosworth's busy careers have forced them to spend a lot of time apart lately, and Bloom has apparently come up with an odd way to lessen the pain of seperation. Bosworth says she gave her man a Lois Lane doll (Bosworth's Superman Returns charachter) and he now takes it everywhere he goes. Bosworth said "It looks nothing like me. But Orlando thinks she looks cute." What Miss Lois Lane doesn't realize is that the doll has about the same proportions as her now, which has Bloom confused. He has no idea it's actually a doll; he thinks his girlfriend has lost so much weight he can actually fit her spine-y ass in his airplane carry-on bag. Which, when you think about it, would come in pretty handy.
7-27-06 Lindsay Lohan Hospitalized Again
Another day, another Lindsay Lohan hospitalization story. Leslie Zelnick, Lohan's vacation-needing publicist, confirms reports of the actress being hospitalized yesterday for overheating and dehydration while filming scenes for her latest movie, Georgia Rules. Zelnick also added that Lindsay was filming for 12 hours in 105 degree heat. She was given a vitamin B-12 shot and released, and is expected to return to the movie set today. I'd feel sorry for Lohan if a) it weren't 105 degrees all over the entire damn country this summer, and b) if I didn't have a sneaking suspicion she was out until 4 A.M. the night before, guzzling boxed wine, whiskey, and smoking cigarettes. And lo and behold, after an extensive 15-seconds of research, I found out that Lohan was spotted at the Chateau Marmont and at Guy's nightclub the night before her hospitalization. Shocking!
7-27-06 Britney Spears Is Not So Nice
A former pool boy for pop-star-turned-baby-machine Britney Spears wants to let the world know what she "is not a nice person." Jon LaLane, son of exercise guru Jack LaLane, claims Spears fired him for talking to her husband, Kevin Federline, too much. LaLane said "She came out screaming at Kevin for lying around, them looked at me like I was to blame... She's not the nice person everyone thinks she is." This story cracks me up, and is an exact picture of what I imagine life to be like in the Spears-Federline household. I can vividly picture a pregnant and barefoot Britney, hair in curlers, with a bucket of chicken in one arm and Sean Preston in the other, screaming at K-Fed for being a deadbeat. These two can't be happy together. A few months ago, K-Fed would have probably left her for anything with boobs- now, I'm pretty sure his standards have dropped and he'd leave her for anything with arms and legs. No wonder she was jealous of the pool boy!