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That's right, in order to promote his album What's Left of Me, Nick Lachey is opening up yet again about how heartbroken he is over the demise of his failed marriage. "I went into this album promising myself I'd make an honest record and that's what I tried to do... Blah, blah, blah... I have a TV pilot coming up called He Said/She Said. It's about the different way that men and woman look at life, love, and each other... Blah, blah, blah... I don't understand woman... Blah, blah, blah... Not only do I think women are from a different planet but I'm not even sure where that planet is... Women have the upper hand. You're all smarter, and you can manipulate us in ways that we can never manipulate you." I took the liberty of skipping the boring crap and filling it in with blah blahs. I hope you don't mind. My favorite part is where he worked in a plug for his upcoming sitcom. Sadly, there has been no word as of yet when the whining will actually stop.
7-13-06 Katie Holmes Parents To Skip Her Wedding?
Rumor has it that devout Catholics Martin and Kathleen Holmes will boycott their daughter Katie's wedding. Tom Cruise and Katie are expected to marry in late July / early August in a Scientology ceremony to be performed by church(?) leader David Miscavige. Life & Style magazine quotes a family friend as saying "Martin and Kathleen are not happy with their daughters choice of where to be married. Martin said Katie can have a proper Catholic wedding the whole family will be glad to be a part of." This seems harsh until you realize that Katie's parents really haven't seen the real her in over a year, since she was brainwashed by Tom Cruise. I'm pretty sure that at this point, it's widely accepted that she is chained up in the dark, damp asement of the Scientology center and replaced with a look-alike robot. Who in their right mind would fly all the way to LA to watch a robot made in their daughter's likeness marry a crazy man? Not with gas prices the way they are these days, at least.
7-17-06 Angelina Jolie Is Working For Brad Pitt
For a change, Brad Pitt is now the boss of girlfriend Angelina Jolie. Plan B Production, the production company Pitt started with ex-wife Jennifer Aniston, is producing a film based on the book by Marianne Pearl, called A Mighty Heart: The Brave Life and Death of My Husband Danny Pearl. The book, writted by Pearl's widow, is based on her experiences during and after her husband was kidnapped by Islamic extremists in Pakistan in 2002. One month after his kidnapping, a video showing Pearl's murder was released. Jolie has been hired to play the role of Marianne Pearl. Before Pitt and Aniston divorced, she had been considered to play the role, which will likely be nominated for an Oscar. So for those keeping score at home, that would be Angelina- 3, Jennifer- 0. Not that it's a competition or anything. Of course not. That's just silly.
7-17-06 Lindsay Lohan Got Drunk At Disneyland
Lindsay Lohan celebrated her 20th birthday on July 2nd at Disneyland, but reportedly indulged in some adult things that have left Mickey Mouse furious. Lohan and her entourage were obviously very drunk, according to some eyewitnesses, who said "Between the obvious smell, rude behavior, and the snotty attitude the group displayed, there were very few Lindsay Lohan fans at Disneyland by the end of the night." I don't judge Lohan for this story at all. In the last few years, it's been clear to me that she is on a mission to get wasted (and maybe have sex) on every square inch of planet Earth. And it's important that everyone have a goal in life, no matter how big or small. Instead of splitting the atom, Lohan wants to sip on whiskey and get groped on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. You gotta have goals.
7-17-06 Wanna-Be Punk White Girl Update
Wanna be punk white girl Avril Lavigne married Sum 41 guitarist and frontman Deryck Whibley on Saturday, June 15th. The non-denominational ceremony was held outdoors at a private estate in Montecito, California. Lavigne wore a Vera Wang gown and exchanged vows with Whibley under an awning of white roses, which matched the bridal bouquet. Lavigne and Whibley have been dating since 2004 and bought a house together in Los Angeles later that same year. They then became engaged in Venice, Italy in 2005 while there for Lavigne's world tour. No word as of yet who actually cares about any of this, since these two really haven't really been famous for a couple of years now.
7-17-06 Tobey Maguire To Be A Husband & Father
It's been confirmed that Spider-Man star Tobey Maguire and long-time girlfriend Jennifer Meyer are indeed engaged and expecting their first child. Meyer, a jewlery designer, said "This is truly the best time in my life. I'm getting married, starting a family, and I have an amazing company." Since I can't think of anything catty or mean to comment to this story with, I'm just going to leave you with the link to the teaser-trailer for Spider-Man 3, which looks like it's going to be pretty damn good. Click here to watch the Spider-Man 3 teaser-trailer.
7-17-06 Justin Timberlake Pretends He Is A Druggie
Former boy bander Justin Timberlake revealed during an interview with The Observer that he has done drugs. When asked if would ever want to become President, Timberlake replied "I've done way too many drugs already. I've inhaled and I've already... who knows. I don't know if I want that responsibility." He then went on to add "I've done my fair share of drugs and I've been caught in places with my pants down." Isn't that kind of a wierd way to answer the question he was asked? It makes him sound like he's just another white boy lying to sound tough to try and earn himself some street cred. Which he's not. Every time I hear the N*Sync song God Must Have Spent A Little More Time On You I feel the urge to go bust a cap in someone's ass.
7-17-06 Man Of Steel To Pose In The Buff?
Superman Returns star Brandon Routh has been offered $500,000 to pose nude for Playgirl magazine, but has not yet accepted the deal. I can't imagine many women I know rushing to the store and facing the shame of buying porno just to see Brandon Routh in the buff. Therefore, I am left to assume that the majority of those who see these pictures will be gay men. Which leads me to conclude that this might be a very bad idea. Superman is called 'gay' quite enough without a bunch of pink-clad no-polish manicured men fawning over his nakedness in Playgirl magazine. Besides, Rough is doing a fine job of acting gay on his own: last week, he reportedly threw a tantrum during a photo shoot because his make-up made him look "wimpy," "pale," and "artificial." Now that is rugged manliness. Brandon, when you get a free minute, could you come give me your opinion on these high heels?