Jeffrey's
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EMPLOYEE #1... Sean Hayes EMPLOYEE #2... Jimmy Fallon CUSTOMER #1... Chris Kattan CUSTOMER #2... Molly Shannon CUSTOMER #3... Horatio Sans BOSS... Will Ferrell CUSTOMER #1: Hi excuse me do you guy carry any diesel brand jeans? (sighs) Ah yeah we also carry hootie and the blowfish albums. Shall I wrap one up in a backwards baseball cap for you and a tape of the cheers finally? EMPLOYEE #1: Or you can try them in that time machine over there. Why dont you set it for 1994? CUSTOMER #1: Come on man Diesels hip. EMPLOYEE #1: Yeah a hip that should be replaced. Let me guess you wear quicksilver swimming truncks. CUSTOMER #1: Yeah I do. What they're cool. EMPLOYEE #2: Yeah look we dont carry deisel. We work at Jeffreys. We read Italian Vouge. Its our deal. I don't come to were you work and knock the corndog out of your hand. CUSTOMER #1: Wait. What? What does that mean? EMPLOYEE #1: What it means is we ant you to be outside of our little invisa square. (does shape of a square around themsleves) CUSTOMER #1: Ok fine. Thank you very much. ( Customer 2 enters) CUSTOMER #2: Hi umm I'm looking for a sweater for my boyfriend. EMPLOYEE #2: (sighs) Really well if you want it to match your outfit then I suggest you try a hallmark store. EMPLOYEE #1: That way you can pick up that 'Hang in there" poster you've been dieing to get. EMPLOYEE #2: Air five. CUSTOMER #2: What are you talking about I just said that I'm willing to spend $300 on a sweater. EMPLOYEE #1: $300? Wow so your check came in from being on Springer. CUSTOMER #2: Very funny. I'll go somewhere else then. EMPLOYEE #2: You could drop five. CUSTOMER #2: What? That is so rude of you! EMPLOYEE #1: Whats rude is that Jeana Tai body splash you are trying to pass off as perfume. CUSTOMER #2: I am not wearing Geana Tai. Okay? EMPLOYEE #1: Look this isn't Pack and Save. This is Jeffereys. EMPLOYEE #2: We don't have a sweater for your boyfriend unless he's dating you as some of some art performance peformance project or something. EMPLOYEE #1: Yeah why don't you go back to Kansas, fry some bologna and adjust the cinderblocks on your house. Okay? EMPLOYEE #2: Okay? EMPLOYEE #1: Now shoo! EMPLOYEE #2: Shoo! (CUSTOMER #3 enters) EMPLOYEE #1: Ugh to bad they don't have personal velvet ropes that you can put or wrap around yourself. EMPLOYEE #2: Seriously. CUSTOMER #3: Hey could you help me? EMPLOYEE #1: (sighs) No EMPLOYEE #2: No CUSTOMER #3: Come on I was just looking for like... EMPLOYEE #1: No EMPLOYEE #2: No CUSTOMER #3: But I just... EMPLOYEE #1: No EMPLOYEE #2: No CUSTOMER #3: But I... EMPLOYEE #1: No EMPLOYEE #2: No CUSTOMER #3: But... EMPLOYEE #1: No EMPLOYEE #2: No CUSTOMER #3: Bu... EMPLOYEE #1: No EMPLOYEE #2: No. Look we work at Jeffreys. I have maracan dental floss thats more expensive then your entire wardrobe. CUSTOMER #3: What? This is a jenuine leather Looney Tunes jacket! EMPLOYEE #1: Hmm. I didn't know Joey Butifuco had a garage sale. You might wanna check back at christmas time when we donate clothes to the homeless. EMPLOYEE #2: See ya then. CUSTOMER #3: Well, maybe I'll donate an insult to you bad dudes. EMPLOYEE #1: Yeah I'm sure thats a devastating comeback in the break room at Circuit City. EMPLOYEE #2: And I'm sure you got a meetball sub or something to finish in your El Camino. CUSTOMER #3: For your informacion guy! I have a half eaten taco in my Tursale. So held ya! EMPLOYEE #1: It has been a nightmare today! EMPLOYEE #2: Thank you! EMPLOYEE #1: They should have never have added that door! The store was so much clearer when it had no entrance. EMPLOYEE #2: I wish people could be more like clothes. (Boss enters) BOSS: Okay you guys... (cell phone rings; Pulls out a tiny phone) Hold on. Hello? Yes. Really. Splendid. We're going to the Dulsha Cabana show. How fast can you have your bags packed for Milan? EMPLOYEE #2: I got my Jack Spade bag packed already! EMPLOYEE #1: My Paul Smith tote saying avior. BOSS: More than perfect. Allows us to engage the concord then. EMPLOYEE #2: I wish they had something higher then first class. EMPLOYEE #1: Please.
