"Elian, The Cuban Boy" Broadway Play
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ANNOUNCER... (Not sure) CHORUS... Molly Shannon, Chris Parnell, Cheri Oteri, Jimmy Fallon, Darrell Hammond FIDEL... Christopher Walken AUNT... Ana Gasteyer ELIAN... Rachel Dratch RENO... Will Ferrell JUAN... Chris Kattan ANNOUNCER: From the people who brought you The Lion King, and the new musical hit AIDA, comes the story of one boy and his fight for freedom. CHORUS: This boats a rockin' And its looking pretty bad. We ain't gunna make it But we goto save the lad! Save the boy! SAVE ELIAN! ANNOUNCER: Elian the cuban boy with the magnificant Christopher Walken as the evil Fidel. FIDEL: One little boy in one lil boat Is making a mockery of me! I will catch him and I'll show him Fidel can be meaner than the sea! Yes fidel can be meaner than the sea! (evil Laugh) ANNOUNCER: And the angelic Sandra Millhart as the kind hearted american relative who risked it all to save a boy. AUNT: This is my boy He belongs to me I'm gunna steal him If I can't have him legal-ly! ANNOUNCER: An epic battle between good and evil. FIDEL: I want to kill him! AUNT: He loves America! FIDEL: I'll stop at nothing! AUNT: I took him to all safety! FIDEL: He's gong to be a commy! AUNT: His favorite show is kids say the darndest thing! BOTH: Elian! ANNOUNCER: Introducing David Mac Wilson as the lovable Elian Gonzales. ELIAN: I don't wanna go home. I just wanna play football! I gotta a bunch of new pals! And a froggy in my pocket! ANNOUNCER: With Richard Kyle Peirce as Juan Gonzales and a special guest appearence by Attourney General Janet Reno. RENO: There's a sacred bond between father and son I will uphold the law until this deed is done. JUAN: My boy, Elian, We've been so long apart. And you Janet Reno Have lifted my heart. BOTH: Oh, Look at us aren't we a pair! We want what's best for the boy. We do-oo-oo! But through all the madness, We found each other, And I fell in love with you! (RENO + JUAN kiss) ANNOUNCER: Come join Elian and his magic dolphin as they fly through the sky over our great free land. ELIAN: In every man there's a little boy! Just waiting to be free. I know its true Cuz I had a dream And in that dream was me!
