Memories II - And Baby Makes Three

                            by Katherine English

Disclaimer:  JAG is the property of Donald Belisario, CBS, and Paramount.  All other characters are mine and fictional.

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"The Rabbit Died."

Wasn't that the euphemism they'd used back in her mother's day?

Silently, Mac sat in her Georgetown apartment amid a sea of moving cartons, and stared at the home pregnancy test once again.

This was going to complicate things...

0800 HOURS
Colonel MacKenzie's Apartment
Georgetown


Harm settled heavily into one of the few remaining chairs in the denuded apartment.

"So, when do you plan to tell him? I feel a 'personal day' coming on..."

"That bad, huh?" Mac responded, worry invading the clear placidity of her dark eyes. "Maybe it will be alright. Maybe he'll be as happy about it as I am...don't you think?"

Anxiously, she scanned his features, hoping that her friend had the answer she was looking for, but the look on his face gave her little reassurance.

"Mac...Have you and the admiral ever talked about adding kids to this relationship?"

The past two months had been ones of soulful bonding... passionate unions... but never had they discussed the possibility of including a child in their intimate nucleus. Even though AJ was aware of her maternal longings, his potential reaction gave her cause for concern.

"I may just wait on this a while, Harm." she hedged, dropping the telltale tester into her pocket. "You know...give MYSELF a chance to digest the situation before I spring it on AJ.."

"Mac..." he cautioned. "I wouldn't do that if I were you. Pregnancy isn't something you can keep from someone you're...well, you know...someone you KNOW that well! You wouldn't be able to blame it on Beltway burgers for long, and it won't help the situation when he knows that you kept it from him. Take my word for it."

As usual, Harm was right, but something inside of her just wouldn't let go. She was going to have to deal with this on her own terms.

"Well, Flyboy, are you going to help me get this stuff to Quantico today or not?" she said, hoping to shift the topic of conversation.

"Yes Ma'am." he smiled. "But anything bigger than a breadbox, you let Bud and I carry. Understood?"

"Aye aye, Commander. Understood," she said, the smile on her lips never reaching her eyes. "I guess I'm carrying enough already..."

1400 HOURS
Colonel MacKenzie's Apartment
Thomason Park Housing
Marine Corps Base Quantico


Harm had been serious.

He had insisted, much to Bud's utter confusion, that Mac carry nothing heavier that a few pounds during the move to her new apartment at Marine Corps Base Quantico. It was a blessing that AJ had been called to Italy two weeks ago to help his daughter, Francesca, with a personal problem, or the "jig" would have been up.

After everything had been brought in, Bud took his leave and headed back home to Harriet and little AJ. Harm, knowing that Mac couldn't be trusted not to start moving furniture the minute he cleared the driveway, stayed behind to tie up any loose ends that might arise.

"Let me at least feed you, then." she offered, sifting through a box marked "kitchen". "It's the least I can do. You're just too good to me, Harm."

Harm grinned. He had such a great grin. "I have to keep the 'Admiral's Lady' happy, don't I?"

Mac stopped dead in her tracks. "I hope you were just kidding, because if you weren't, then I have a major problem with what you just said!"

"Mac! Of course I'm kidding... How long have we been friends, anyway? Do you really think the fact that you're 'hot bunking' it with my C.O. would make any difference?"

Mac threw one of Harriet's lobster-shaped potholders at his head. "Boy! You just don't know when to leave well enough alone, do you?" she laughed. "I didn't know you could fit BOTH of those big feet in your mouth at once!"

"Seriously, though. Do you think anyone thinks of my relationship with AJ in that way?" she asked as she located a box of pasta, and a jar of Garden-style Ragu.

"Listen..."he said, drawing her back into the living room, "just sit down here for a minute, O.K.?"

Harm paused, choosing his words carefully.

"You and the admiral have something really special going for you. For my own sake, I wish I could say that relationships like yours happen everyday...but they don't. You need to stop 'second guessing' it to death, Mac...you could lose something that you might never find again. Just a little advice from someone who's still looking..."

Sadly, Mac looked at the false bravado pasted on her friend's face. There was a time when they might have been an "item", but that time had long since passed, leaving Harm with a long succession of failed relationships, and her with the man of her dreams. She had kissed more than her share of "frogs" in her lifetime, it was truly a miracle to have finally found the one "prince" in the batch.

Harm started relocating boxes to their designated rooms as Mac got supper started. "You know, Mac," he called, "you need to start eating a little better now. The four food groups really aren't starch, grease, dead animal and catsup. You need to get little 'Albert' off to a good start, 'Mom."

"Albert'! Oh no...not this kid. Why do you think AJ goes by his initials? 'Albert Jethro' just doesn't 'cut it' in grade school!"

"I forget," he laughed, "where exactly IS it popular again?"

"Just watch it, Commander, or I'll send a Marine detachment after you..."

Harm finished distributing the boxes, then dropped down on the sofa to await supper.

"Speaking of Marines," he said, "how are things going at Quantico?"

"Well...it's hectic. Being a C.O. is a lot tougher than I anticipated. My department is knee-deep in a situation with Japan right now."

"Japan?" Harm raised his eyebrows. "Your department handles foreign affairs?"

"Yes, Harmon..." she teased. "That's why it's called the 'International' and Operational Law Division, remember?"

"Yeah. Right. Anything you can talk about?"

"Sure. A lot of it is right on the front page anyway. With foreign relations as shaky as they are with Japan right now, the Japanese government has disallowed Marines guarding the National Security Council's representatives from the SCIF from carrying weapons during Presidential deployments. We've been bouncing protests back and forth with the White House Diplomatic Corps for weeks. We may even have to withdraw Marine security from diplomatic envoys to Japan if we can't reach an agreement soon. It's a mess."

"Colonel...I'm impressed. I thought you were just counting paper clips over here!"

"Don't say that too loud, Sailor. This is a Marine base. Remember...you're surrounded..."

1800 HOURS - Two Days Later
Colonel MacKenzie's Apartment
Thomason Park Housing
Marine Corps Base Quantico


"Darlin', I've missed you so much... I've always liked Italy, but this time I couldn't get away fast enough."

AJ lay on the sofa beside her, his head in her lap.

"I like your new place." he began cautiously. "I just wish you'd moved in with me instead."

"AJ...you know that wouldn't work. You're The JAG...how would that make you look?"

"To hell with how it would make me LOOK!" he answered emphatically. "It would make me FEEL great! I dare anyone to cross paths with me about this...I've sent sailors to the Aleutians for less!"

"Oh...you wouldn't, and you know it!"

"But seriously, Darlin', why didn't you just move in with me instead of arranging for base housing? You're so much a part of my life...I feel like something's missing when we're not together."

It was an old argument. AJ already knew the answer. Mac simply wasn't ready to give up the independence she'd worked so hard to achieve...not yet. But...she thought placing a hand on her stomach... she might have to rethink that issue before long.

As though reading her mind, AJ lifted the hem of her blouse and began to touch his lips to her exposed flesh.

"I've been wanting to do this for weeks." he whispered, tugging her blouse over her head..."and this," he added, removing her bra..."and this," he said, drawing her down upon him.

Like a thirsting man in an oasis, AJ pressed his lips to hers, drinking in the scent of her hair, his hands gently caressing the bare line of her back.

"You're so beautiful," he murmured softly, as though discovering her again for the first time. "I can't get enough of you, Darlin'. I never knew how empty I was before you came into my life. It wouldn't BE a life without you in it."

Then carefully, tenderly, he shifted his position until she lay beneath him, her breasts lightly grazing the crisp fabric of his white uniform shirt.

"AJ," she said, her voice a hushed seduction. "I want to touch you. I want to feel your skin next to mine and be sure that this isn't just another dream."

His gaze bathed in passion, AJ stood and began to remove his clothing.

His trim, athletic body always amazed her. His uniform hid so much, she mused, her hands aching for the touch of his body. He was truly an incredible man.

Finally, he stood naked before her, the profile of his body a harbinger of things to come.

"Darlin', this has been the longest two weeks of my life," he whispered, sliding her skirt and panties down over her hips and adding them to the growing pile on the floor. " I want to make this last, but I need you so much..."

Gently, he lay down between her legs, his engorged sex lightly grazing her inner thighs as he claimed her lips again, parting them, seeking out the soft, sweet interiors of her mouth.

Sarah felt his hands caress her sensitive breasts, her nipples becoming hard and distended. They'd changed over the past few weeks, she observed. Would AJ notice?

Wordlessly, his mouth sought the pulse point at the base of her throat as though to consume her very life, then trailed maddeningly downward to gently draw a tender nipple between his lips.

She gasped. It felt so different this time, eliciting a response she'd never come close to before.

AJ slid his hand between them and insinuated his finger deep within her moist epicenter. He smiled...she was as ready as he was, but he wasn't prepared to let it end so quickly after two tortuous weeks of anticipation.

Sarah brought her leg up and braced it on the back of the sofa, giving her lover more room and greater access to the hungering vortex within her. Then, taking his hardened shaft in her palm, she guided him to the brink of Nirvana, pleading with him to consummate their union.

But AJ had other plans. Pulling back, he imprisoned her hand in his and began to trace a moist, molten pathway down her body, tasting...teasing, until, finally he reached the dewy triangle at the juncture of her thighs.

There, resolutely, he parted her moist curls with his fingers and opened her fully before his questing tongue.

The sensation became more than she could bear, and she instinctively began to pull away, but he held her tenderly in place as he continued his relentless exploration, driving her to the brink of madness.

"Love...Love...I can't stand it." she moaned, her hips thrusting against him, her body pleading for release.

In one fluid motion, AJ covered her body with his, and plunged fully, deeply into the hot, wet depths of her, sending her loudly over the brink.

United at last, AJ continued to thrust heavily within her, feeling her inner muscles clutching greedily at his rigid member, until once again she cried out into the night, and he felt her heated juices flow around him. It was only then, his body driven by the primitive rhythm that consumed him, that he allowed himself the ultimate gift of release and spent himself cataclysmicly within her.

Slowly, he bundled her in his arms and carried her to the bed, tucking her gently beneath the blankets, drawing her body comfortingly within his embrace as the afterglow took her to a land of dreams.

"Darlin'," he sighed into the deafness of the night..."It's good to be home."

0200 HOURS
Colonel MacKenzie's Apartment
Thomason Park Housing
Marine Corps Base Quantico


Amid the luxury of Sarah's big bed, they'd made love one more time, then began to discuss all of the fragments of life they'd missed over the past two weeks.

"Darlin', with you moving and changing phone services and all, it just about drove me crazy not being able to reach you all this time."

Sarah lay her head on his chest. "So how was your trip? How is Francesca?" Sarah asked.

AJ grimaced. "Very pregnant, I'm afraid. She and her boyfriend had a fight...she wanted to legitimize my grandchild...he didn't. Same old story...too young, too immature, too unprepared to commit to anything..."

Sarah was immediately on alert. "So what happened?"

"Well, they didn't seem to be able to work things out, so I gave the situation a little nudge. I told the boyfriend that it was time to grow up...take responsibility for his actions...be a man. I also told him that I'd kick his ass if he made my grandchild a bastard."

"And?"

"The wedding was two days ago. I now have a son-in-law, and a grandchild-to-be. My little family's just growing by leaps and bounds.

You don't know the half of it, Sarah thought.

"AJ?"

"Yes, Darlin'?"

"Have you ever given any thought to the possibility of US having a baby?"

"US? Isn't it a little too early to be thinking about starting a new branch of Chegwiddens? I just found out that I'm going to be a grandfather!" he grinned.

He lifted her face to his. "Darlin', A baby right now would make a big difference in your life. Believe me...I know. You'd have to make serious choices that might compromise the career you've worked so hard to get. I wouldn't want to put you on the spot like that at the moment...we've still got a little time."

Mac felt the bottom drop out of her world. How could she tell him now? Would he feel obligated to "legitimize" their child as well?

The thought of a "shot gun" wedding chilled her to the bone.

AJ immediately noticed her stricken expression, and brushed his lips against her forehead. "Sarah...I know you want kids, and we'll have them, but give us a chance be together by ourselves for a while. Great as kids are...they change your life...and once you have them, you can't put 'em back."

1200 HOURS
Naval Medical Clinic
Marine Corps Base Quantico


It was official. Mac was two months pregnant.

Shakily, Mac exited the pillared, red brick building that housed Quantico's medical facility. The doctor had said that the lower body trauma she'd suffered during her auto accident three months before, might have caused her to expel her I.U.D. It hadn't been until her monthly cycle, which was usually irregular, had been seriously overdue, that she began to suspect something was amiss. At any rate, she was very definitely pregnant.

Mac climbed into her black Tracker and sat staring at the many pamphlets the nurse had given her on prenatal care. There was so much to know...so many adjustments to make. How in the world had women been having babies all of these years without modern medicine?

Mac lay her hand against her stomach. She was going to have a baby! In spite of the inherent problems involved, she felt like shouting it from the rooftops!

Then she thought about AJ, and her mood began to shift dramatically. He didn't want another child, of that she was sure, but she was equally sure that he would insist on "meeting his responsibilities" and giving it his name.

She would never allow him to commit to a marriage of necessity...she couldn't. To do so would be to "short-change" all three of them.

But with a baby in the picture...could she ever consider that a proposal from AJ was for the right reasons? Probably not. It was ironic, she thought... after everything they'd been through, the very product of their love, would be the one element that could keep them apart.

0800 HOURS
AJ's Home
McLean, Virginia


It was Saturday, two days after her fateful trip to the base obstetrician, and Mac was spending the weekend at AJ's cabin, deep in the Virginia woods.

The romantic evening they'd planned for the night before, had been somewhat less than a success.

Mac had been distracted, to say the least, seeking constantly for the right moment to share the news with her lover. Then after supper, she'd been overcome with fatigue, something that seemed to be a regular occurrence of late, and had fallen asleep on the couch.

She'd gotten up early that morning, and had been able to deal with a slight case of morning sickness in the guest bathroom before AJ awoke. Now, running along the trail in the brisk morning air, she felt exhilarated for the first time in weeks. Today would be the day...

She and AJ ran, laughing, through the stillness of the forest, glad to be alive...glad to be together.

"You fell asleep on me last night, Darlin'," he commented, pulling alongside her on the trail. "You wouldn't be getting tired of me already, would you?" he laughed.

"As though that would ever happen!" she panted, catching her breath from the exertion. "I'm part barnacle, sailor...you can't get rid of me that easily!"

Suddenly, Mac felt a sharp pain assail her lower body, bringing her to an abrupt halt. Clutching her midsection, she leaned against a tree trunk for support.

"Are you alright, Darlin'?" AJ asked as he placed an arm around her, concern etched on the stern features of his face. She was as white as a sheet!

Mac was anything but all right. The pain had increased, causing her to slip silently to the ground, her body shaking, her face pale and ashen.

"AJ...I..." she began, just as the world began to spin out of control.

"Darlin'...what is it? Darlin'...Sarah!" But Sarah was beyond hearing. For her there was only darkness.

1000 HOURS
Bethesda Naval Hospital
Bethesda, Maryland


AJ pace anxiously outside of the examining room. "What in bloody hell's going on in there?" he muttered to himself for the third time in the past half hour. If they thought they were going to keep him out here for much longer, they were sorely mistaken!

Finally, the door opened and Mac's doctor entered the waiting room.

AJ latched onto him immediately. "Doctor, I need to know what's happening. I need information, and I need it now! How is Colonel MacKenzie...what's wrong with her?"

"Relax, Admiral...Sir. She's fine. She just overdid it a little. Normally, most women can continue their regular activities well into their pregnancy, but the Colonel's 'no pain - no gain' regimen is a little too much. She just needs to back off a little...maybe switch to brisk walks instead of running herself into the ground. Exercise is good...exhaustion isn't."

AJ sat heavily in a waiting chair. Pregnancy? Sarah was pregnant? Why hadn't she told him!

"Thank you, doctor. " he responded numbly. " When can I go in and see her?"

"You can go in now, if you like. She was in considerable discomfort for a while, but she wouldn't let us medicate her. She didn't want the baby to be subjected to any unnecessary chemicals, but we were able to give her something to stabilize her spotting and get her back on the right foot."

"I want her to stay here for a few hours, just to be sure, then she can go home. I'm assuming she won't be alone? I'd like her to rest for a few days, but from my assessment of the colonel, keeping her down for that long will be a considerable feat. That's quite a lady in there..."

"You've got THAT right." AJ said, trying to deal with his frustration. "You have no idea..."

Hesitantly, the admiral stepped into the examining room, debating what to say next. Being at a loss for words was a rare and unaccustomed feeling for him...and it didn't sit well.

He had so much to say...so much to ask... but he knew the next few moments could be crucial to the future of their relationship... an ill-chosen word, the wrong inflection, and he could lose her. He felt his control slipping. Life with Sarah was never dull...

She was looking better, he noted with relief. But the dried trail of tears on her face told him that it hadn't been easy.

Settling into a chair by the bed, he took a deep, cleansing breath. "Darlin', why didn't you tell me?" he said softly, his hand gently stroking the ravages of her face. "Did you think I couldn't handle it?"

Silently, she turned her face to the wall, her breathing becoming erratic.

"AJ, I was going to tell you this weekend. You have to believe me. I just needed time..."

"Relax...relax." he whispered soothingly, alarmed at her discomfiture. "It's alright. We can talk all this out later. Right now you need to stay calm...rest. I'll take you home in a few hours, and you can let me 'baby' you for the next couple of days...doctor's orders."

1700 HOURS
AJ's Home
McLean, Virginia


"Babying" Sarah was proving to be an impossible task. Barely two hours had gone by, and it was all AJ could do to keep her in bed.

"Darlin', you scared the hell out of me today! You're staying in that bed if I have to tie you down!" he exaggerated.

"Oooooh, kinky!" she laughed. "Is that a threat or a promise?"

He wasn't amused.

"Just stay there...okay? I've got some soup and French bread in the kitchen. We can eat right here tonight."

He turned to leave, and Sarah immediately began to stir.

"STAY!" he commanded. "I'll be right back, for God's sake!"

She wasn't comfortable with this...not one bit. He was angry about the baby, about not being told, about being a father again at his age. He didn't have to tell her any this...it was obvious.

Quietly she sat, propped up on a massive heap of pillows that AJ had piled behind her, her lips thin and pursed. They'd hammer this out tonight, she decided, and then she'd drive home. If their relationship was over, then it was over.

Gently, she stroked her still-flat stomach... consoling the child within her. This should be the happiest time of her life, so why was the world crumbling down around her?

AJ returned a few minutes later with a white wicker bed tray filled with a hearty soup and large slabs of crusty French bread.

"Are you sure this is going to be enough, Darlin'?" he asked, doubtfully. "I mean, you're..."

"Please don't say I'm 'eating for two', AJ, or I'll puke right here...and believe me these days it isn't hard to do."

AJ stood staring at his love. Her tone wasn't promising. They needed to be discussing wedding plans, not regurgitation.

"You get started, Darlin'. I'll be right back with a T.V. table and my bowl. Now don't move!"

They stirred their soup in silence, each wondering what the other was thinking...wondering how to begin the discussion that was so sorely needed.

Finally, AJ removed their half-filled bowls to the kitchen, since neither of them seemed to be able to eat, and slid into bed beside her.

"We need to get this out in the open, AJ." she began, her voice echoing unnaturally in her ears.

"Why didn't you tell me!" he blurted out, trying to control his anger. "Why couldn't you come to me with this? Am I so terrible...so insensitive, that you can't even tell me I'm going to become a father! What in the world did you think I was going to do?"

"I was going to tell you!" she shot back. "I started to tell you a dozen times, but it was never the right moment. Harm said I should tell you right away, and he was right. I made a mistake. I should have told you the night you got back from Italy. I'm sorry..."

"Rabb told you...! You mean you told Rabb, but you couldn't tell me!" AJ was furious! He'd deal with the commander on Monday! Right now, the thought that she'd turned to her friend instead of him, was too painful to bear.

"No! It wasn't like that, AJ!" she asserted, feeling the situation beginning to disintegrate. "Harm saw the home pregnancy tester when he was helping me move. He was just trying to give me some advice. I would have come to you first if you'd been here."

Mac jumped out of bed and stood glaring at her lover. "AJ...I'm going home! I need to be alone...you're driving me crazy!"

This was the reaction he'd feared, and he had no one to blame but himself.

"Darlin'...come back to bed." he cajoled, his face masked in concern. "I'm sorry. Maybe you were right to worry about my reaction. I certainly have been a real bastard tonight! Please..."

Sarah felt the tears begin to well up behind her eyes. No! She wouldn't cry, she scolded herself. It would only complicate the issue. They needed to discuss the baby in an open and rational manner, and tears were counterproductive. She WOULD NOT cry!

She turned away, her breath coming in jagged little gusts, her control returning at last.

"You're right...we need to have this out." she admitted, returning to the bed beside him. "I admit I should have told you. I made a mistake, but I can't change that now. I can only apologize and hope you'll forgive me."

AJ looked at the rigid set of her lips, and the furrows lining her brow. He was putting her through hell, at the one time when she needed him the most.

He thought beck to when Marcella, his first wife had left him, taking their newborn daughter with her. Would he never learn!

"Darlin', " he began again. "Did you think I wouldn't want the baby? Was that it?" he asked, recalling their conversation the night he'd returned from Italy.

Wordlessly, she nodded...the haunted pools of her eyes filling the silence.

Gently, AJ leaned forward and touched his lips to her eyelids, his arms closing around her shivering form.

"Then I'm the one who needs to apologize. For a man who makes his living manipulating the English language, I must be the dumbest bastard on the planet. The things I said...I just didn't want you to have to give up anything for my sake...your career...your independence...anything. I wanted to add to your life, not detract from it. I was worried about you."

"I want this to be clear." he said, drawing her close to him, his eyes peering intimately into hers, "I want this baby! I love you...and the fact that you're going to have my baby is tantamount to a miracle from where I sit. I have absolutely no reservations. If you have even the slightest doubt, we need to talk about it right here and now."

Sarah smiled, tracing her fingertip along his lower lip, her eyes smoky and heavy-lidded. "You've proven your point, Counselor. No deliberations necessary." she said, gently pressing her lips to his.

AJ returned her kiss, probing heatedly between her lips, feeling an embryo of desire begin to stir within the pit of his stomach. He wanted her...badly...but after her trip to the emergency room this morning, her doctor had warned him that she needed to 'rest' for a few days.

"Oh, Lord, what you do to me, woman, but this is going to have to wait." he said, more to himself than to her. "Darlin', I think we have a headache."

Contentedly, they lay together like spoons the long night through, AJ's hand protectively placed over their child-to-be, awed at the miracle she'd given him.

When morning came, Mac rose and began to collect her gear for the short trip back to Quantico.

"Sarah...the doctor said you needed to rest for a few days, not a few hours. Climb back into bed here, and let me take care of you."

Mac felt another argument coming on, and she wasn't up to it.

"AJ, I have to be at work tomorrow. If you really want me to get some rest, then I need to be in my own bed on the base tonight."

"Sarah...You've got to make some concessions here. I know passivity is not something you do well, but, for the sake of this baby, you may have to adjust. The Corps is not going to 'fold' if you take a long weekend. Hell, I was planning to take tomorrow off myself, and I'm not worried about the JAG office." he lied.

"But AJ, you know about the Security Council issue...I'm right in the middle of it. I HAVE to be there...I have no choice!"

"There's always a choice, Darlin', it just depends on which one you want to make." he said softly.

She stood, as though frozen in time. "I have to go." she whispered, her eyes pleading for his support. "AJ, you have to try and understand."

AJ sat on the side of the bed, his shoulders slumped in resignation. Then, quietly he crossed the room toward his closet and took out a large suitcase. "Darlin', you just got yourself a houseguest."

0630 HOURS
Sarah MacKenzie's Apartment
Thomason Park Housing
Marine Base Quantico


AJ was dressed and heading for the door "Are you sure that I can't talk you out of this? I can still call Tiner and have Rabb cover for me today."

"AJ...Go to work. I'll make as short a day of it as possible, I promise."

"I guess I have no say in the matter, then. I'll pick up some take-out for supper. Anything special you'd like?"

"How about a pizza...the works...with anchovies and double cheese."

"Darlin', you must be growing a garbage scow in there." he responded, his nose wrinkled distastefully. "The anchovies go on YOUR half!"

It was an easy 45-minute drive along I-95 North, into the beltway area and on to JAG headquarters. The commute was longer than AJ was used to, but not unbearably so. Within an hour after leaving Quantico, he was at his own desk, and hard at work.

"Tiner," he called on his intercom, recalling the promise he'd made to himself on Saturday night, "When Commander Rabb gets in, tell him I'd like to see him..."

1800 HOURS
Sarah MacKenzie's Apartment


It was 1800 HOURS and Sarah still wasn't home. The pizza she'd requested sat congealed in the refrigerator, while AJ steamed in the living room.

Finally, the phone rang. AJ grabbed for the extention and spoke: "MacKenzie residence. Talk to me."

"AJ? It's me. I wanted to call and let you know I'd be late. I got hung up in a meeting, but I should be home in about 30 minutes."

"I thought you said you'd be home early, Sarah." he said tersely. "I've been waiting for two hours!"

"AJ...I couldn't get away. I'd have called sooner, but I was in with a representative from the Diplomatic Corps and it just wasn't possible. I'm sorry."

"Well, alright. I'll be here."

The line went dead. Sarah stood staring at the receiver. AJ was angry again. It seemed like all they'd done since he found out about the baby was fight. She was at her wit's end. It couldn't go on like this.

Back at her apartment, AJ paced furiously. He was pushing too hard...he knew it. He'd been 'in charge' too long to remember how to flex to other people's wants and needs. He hoped fervently that this 'old dog' could learn new tricks, or he'd drive Sarah away, forever.

Silently, he sank into an overstuffed chair and stared once again at the ring box he'd been crushing for the past two hours. He had fallen in love with the ring the moment he'd seen it in a Florence antique shop two weeks ago. He'd known immediately that he had to have it when he proposed to Sarah, and so he'd bought it.

It dated back to the 1800's, and was a masterpiece in microcosm. The stone, a 2 carat princess-cut blue-white diamond, was set in a delicate hand crafted filigree of antique gold. It was breathtaking. It belonged on Sarah's finger.

Exactly 30 minutes later, he heard Sarah pull up into the driveway. Quickly, he settled on the sofa and began reading the newspaper, as though their tense moment on the phone had never existed.

"Hi, Darlin'." he smiled, kissing her lips as he took her briefcase. "I missed you. You look tired...come on over here, and let me get you comfortable."

Sarah was relieved. He wasn't angry after all. She'd had enough angst on the job today, she couldn't handle any more tonight.

"Let me get these clothes off first." she pleaded. "I feel like they're glued to me."

AJ followed her into the bedroom, and watched as she began to shed her uniform. Lord, she was a beautiful woman, he thought for the millionth time...brains and beauty too. It was a lethal combination. He was one lucky S.O.B.

Slowly he looked on, as she carefully laid her blouse and skirt across the back of a wooden chair, and kicked off her shoes. Clad only in satin and lace, she sensed his presence in the doorway and turned. "You're watching me." she said, the weariness beginning to fade from her voice. "Any particular reason?"

"Darlin', I'd have to be crazy not to want to watch you."

She smiled enigmatically, her hands reaching around to unhook her bra.

"Need some help with that? I'm working on my technique."

Her pulse began to flutter as he crossed the room, his arms encircling her, caressing the length of her back, before releasing the flimsy catch of her bra.

"I...I don't think your technique needs any...work..." she murmured, her voice beginning to fail her.

"Well, you know what they say, my love...'use it or lose it."

She began to reply, but his kiss stole the words from her lips.

Suddenly he drew back. Had they waited long enough? Was it safe to make love so soon? Sarah made up his mind for him as she began to fumble with the buckle of his belt.

"Sarah...are you sure?"

"Trust me..." she whispered huskily. "Trust me."

Relieved, he pulled her to him, feeling her nipples harden against his body, her lips feasting hungrily along his throat.

"Oh Sarah...what you do to me..." he breathed.

Suddenly, he bent and scooped her up in his arms, his warm breath caressing her swollen breasts. Then, crossing the room, he lay her gently across the satin comforter.

Sarah felt the heat rise within her as her lover began to shed his clothing. She loved his body. Hidden beneath his uniform, it was like a secret that only she was privileged to know...the source of her desire...her passion...her release.

Wordlessly, he knelt beside her on the bed and watched her blossom before his eyes as he gently tugged the final wisp of lace down past her hips, and discarded it on the floor.

Her breasts had begun to change, he noticed. Already they seemed fuller, her nipples and aureoles larger and more prominent. They would be more sensitive too, he recalled, remembering his former wife's pregnancy. He needed to be gentle.

Resting his weight on his forearms, AJ positioned himself between her legs, and slowly began to draw her distended nipple between his lips.

Sarah inhaled sharply, as though some tiny presence had slipped below her skin and had taken over her very being. Was this heightened sensitivity a by-product of pregnancy? If so, then it was a bonus...a definite 'perk'.

AJ, sensing her arousal, pressed his thumb between her lips. Then, withdrawing it, he began to trace slow wet circles around her other nipple, cupping the fullness of her breast...trailing slowly down between the juncture of her thighs.

She was wet...very wet. A small, sweet sound escaped her lips as he began to gently massage the turgid nub nestled within her.

AJ..." she called, her body arching to meet him, her hands grasping his buttocks.

Her lover wrapped his arms tightly around her, then rolled quickly onto his back, taking her with him, positioning her astride his pulsating erection.

Again his fingers reached between them...probing, tantalizing until she lost herself among the stars, her mind a profusion of image and sensation.

Her body began to shake, screaming for the fullness of him within her. Quickly, he positioned his hardened shaft between her thighs, waiting for her to press her body against him, allowing him entrance to her moist, liquid center.

But Sarah wanted more.

His body began to shiver with anticipation, as she slowly traced her tongue down his chest, below his waist, to finally claim his pulsating member.

"Sarah..." he warned. "This is not a good idea. I'm trying to take it easy, but you're driving me to distraction!"

"It's a one-way ticket my love." she whispered softly. "Don't try so hard."

With that, Sarah took him fully into her mouth, tasting the saltiness of him on her tongue, feeling his control slip further and further with each embrace of her lips.

"Sarah!" he called, his voice a jagged cry in the darkness. "You have to stop!"

Frantically, he once again positioned her beneath him, entering her abruptly, thrusting powerfully between her thighs, struggling to carry her with him on passion's journey. Then he paused, his heart pounding in his chest, as though attempting to assume some last vestige of control.

Deftly, he slipped his hand between them, his fingers seeking and finding the small rigid hub of her passion, lighting a flame that flared instantly at his touch and engulfed them both.

Sarah cried out his name as the universe collapsed, sending her swirling beyond time and space. She felt him deep within her, the stream of his life joining with hers, their bodies one and inseparable, their souls united forever.

This was how it should be, how it would always be, she thought, laying limply in his arms. They needed to make their lives together work...because in that one pure moment of revelation...she knew that she could never live without him.

He couldn't sleep.

Warmed by the bright intensity of their love, he lay unmoving beside her, listening to the even hush of her breath in the stillness of the night.

AJ had always been attracted to Sarah MacKenzie. From the moment they'd met, he'd known she was something special, but never in his wildest fantasies had he ever imagined that she would become so dear, so vital to his very existence.

Now, in the afterglow of passion, he thought of the new life they'd created together...the product of their love, growing safe and warm in the haven of her body.

As though drawn by a mind of its own, he reached out and placed his palm against her womb.

Sarah stirred, burrowing ever deeper within his embrace, her breath warm against his chest.

"Can't sleep, my Love?" she murmured, her voice coming from a land of dreams.

Tenderly, AJ traced the gentle curve of her cheek with his fingertip.

Sarah opened her eyes, seeking in the darkness for the face of her lover. Then, taking his hand in hers, she placed a kiss within his palm, and pressed it to her breast.

"Darlin'," he began, "I have something I want to talk to you about...something I need to ask you."

He leaned his body over her, touching the bedside lamp, flooding the room with both shadow and substance. Then, reaching beyond her line of vision, he grasped the ring box and placed it on the pillow between them,

"Oh, AJ..." she whispered, her voice a reflection of her concern. "Please don't do this..."

"Sarah...It's time we talked about this. I love you. I want to spend my life with you...I thought you wanted the same thing."

"AJ...my Love...we don't have to be married to do that. I can't marry you just to give our baby a name. It's a kind and loving gesture, but it isn't right."

Her eyes became liquid with unshed tears. "AJ...I was raised in a home where love was defined by a piece of paper signed in city hall. I don't know why my parents ever married in the first place, but I'm sure it was for the wrong reason. I want more than that for me...for us. Please, my Love, tell me you understand..."

"Darlin', I don't just love you, I respect you...too much to lie to you about this. Maybe my timing has something to do with the baby...I'm not sure myself...but the reason I want to marry you doesn't."

"Sarah, I've lived most of my life alone, and except for a few brief moments, it's been enough. But I can't say that anymore. You're a part of me, Darlin', like the air I breath and the beating of my heart. I need you in my life, my Love, and I'm just old-fashioned enough to believe that the "piece of paper" is an important step in that commitment."

"Don't say 'no'...say 'yes', and let me be a part of your life. Let me love you 'til the day I die."

Hesitantly, Sarah reached out and closed her hand around the small, velvet cube, her eyes searching his, praying that he'd spoken truly and from the heart.

As she lifted the lid, her breath caught in her throat. "AJ...I've never seen anything so beautiful! Will you put it on my finger?"

AJ reached into the box and began to gently tug the ring from its grasp, but in doing so, the lining came free, and a small piece of paper fluttered softly to the bed.

"What's this?" she asked, her curiosity piqued.

"Oh nothing, Darlin'. It's just the receipt. I had to keep it in the box when I cleared customs, and I forgot it was there. Here, let me take it."

"You bought this in Italy?"

"Uh huh, in a little antique shop in Florence. They said it was 100 years old, but I have no idea if that's true. I just knew that I wanted to put it on your finger when I proposed..."

Sarah began to sob...huge salty tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Darlin'...this is not the reaction I had in mind." he soothed, tasting her tears, touching his lips to hers.

For the first time in her life, Sarah cried without shame, without arresting her feelings and imprisoning them deep within her. AJ loved her...he'd bought the ring even before he'd known about the baby. She was his forever...and he was hers.

Slowly, tenderly, they'd made love one more time... filling the night with the beauty that was theirs, sharing the pleasure of their bodies, bonding their souls inextricably... one to the other.

1200 HOURS
AJ's Home
McLean, Virginia


The wedding was a simple affair, held in heart of the forest behind AJ's cabin in McLean, Virginia.

The guest list was kept to a minimum. Bud and Harriet were there, along with little AJ, who proceeded to terrorize every squirrel for miles around.

Sarah was breathtaking in an antique gown of ivory eyelet lace, as Harm walked her down the 'aisle' to the man with whom she had chosen to share her life.

Everyone cried.

But soon it was over, and the guests began to depart down the long, dusty road back to town... each feeling as though they had been given access to a very special moment in the lives of two very special people.

The demands of Sarah's current case load at work prohibited a lengthy honeymoon, so the newlyweds chose to "borrow" a research cottage owned by the Navy on Parramore Island for the weekend. There, they made slow, easy love to the sound of the waves crashing against the shore, and formed plans for a lifetime together.

Sarah and AJ headed back to town on Sunday afternoon, and settled, once again, into her apartment on the Quantico Marine Base.

They'd decided to live in her apartment until after the baby was born, to cut down on the distance she would have to commute, and allow her more time to rest as her pregnancy wore on. After little "MacKenzie" was born, they would move back to AJ's cabin in McLean, and establish their permanent residence.

0630 HOURS
Colonel Chegwidden's Apartment
Marine Base Quantico


Two months had come and gone. Sarah was now five months pregnant. The slight bouts of nausea she had experienced during the first three months of her pregnancy had finally given way to a feeling of euphoric well-being, and it was to AJ's dismay that she began to take on more and more responsibilities at work.

AJ had become almost comical in his zeal as a new father-to-be. He'd even had a special t-shirt made up that read: "We're Having A Baby! - News at 11:00" which he seemed to have a fondness for wearing at particularly embarrassing moments.

Things were not perfect in the Chegwidden household, however, and as time wore on, their inability to find a comfortable pattern in their lives together began to take its toll.

AJ, a man from the old school, believed that it was his job as a husband and father to protect his family and shoulder the responsibilities that entered into their lives. He worried about the increasing work load that Sarah was constantly amassing, and the effects of that ponderous burden on her progressing pregnancy.

Sarah, on the other hand, had fought long and hard to be a woman of independence. Relinquishing even a small portion of that hard-won persona, was proving to be more difficult than she had imagined.

2300 HOURS
The Chegwidden Apartment
Marine Base Quantico


AJ heard her key in the lock. He rolled on his side and waited until he saw her silently slip through the bedroom door.

"I missed you, Darlin'." he said, his tone displaying his frustration. "Do you know what time it is?"

"I always know what time it is, AJ. You know that. I realize that I said I'd be home on time tonight, but things just seemed to happen...I couldn't get away. It happens to you too sometimes..."

"Darlin', come here and lay down." he said, moving over and rolling on his side. "We need to talk..."

"Oh, AJ...not again. Please. I know you want me to take it a little easier...and I want that too. It's just that this situation in Japan has escalated all out of proportion, and it's my job to handle it. A lot of people are depending on me. I can't just say 'Sorry. My husband doesn't want me working tonight!' Be reasonable!"

"Darlin'...I thought I WAS being reasonable. I've been a C.O. a lot longer than you have, and one thing I've learned is that a good C.O. knows how and when to delegate authority."

"Sarah...you can't be everything to all people. You have to choose your priorities, or you end up being ineffectual in the areas that really matter."

Sarah stroked the squared line of his jaw. "This does matter, AJ. It matters a lot. It's something I need to do, not just for my career, but for myself. I need you to understand.

"What about the baby, Sarah? What about us? Where do we fit in this priority structure of yours?"

Angrily, Sarah bounded from his side and began to tear at her clothing in preparation for bed.

"That's not fair, AJ! I try to understand when you have other obligations. I don't cross-examine you when you get home! Why can't you offer me the same consideration?"

Silently, AJ rose and enfolded her in his embrace. "Darlin', I don't want to fight again. It's just that I worry about you. You know that the doctor said you shouldn't work yourself into a state of exhaustion. You've been leaving early and coming home late for weeks, and when you do get here...you're so tired that all you can do is drop into bed and sleep. You can't go on like this.

"What...what about last month when you had that Supreme Court issue to deal with...you did the same thing. Why was it okay for you, but not for me?"

"Darlin', I'm not five months pregnant. I know this is not what you want to hear, but it's the truth. You need to take better care of yourself...or better yet, let ME take care of YOU. Lord knows I understand how hard it is to give up control, but for the baby's sake, for our sake, you need to 'give' a little."

"AJ," she said, the anger resonating in her voice. "I don't want to talk about this anymore tonight. I'm tired."

Tugging a long, Marine-green t-shirt down over the swollen profile of her belly, Sarah lay down on the bed, her back to her husband, and fell into a fitful sleep.

6 Weeks Later
The Chegwidden Apartment
Marine Base Quantico


Sarah was ecstatic. It was finally over. Through her diligent efforts, both parties had finally arrived at a compromise.

The Japanese government, unwilling to waver in its resolution to ban armed Marine deployments, had refused to budge. It had, however, conceded that U.S. Marines from Okinawa could be substituted as guards during Security Council junkets, since their permission to bear arms had already been granted by a former treaty.

The Marines had likewise made concessions. It had been agreed upon that armed Marine Guards from the States would accompany Presidential diplomatic deployments only as far as the Japanese air terminal, at which time they would be relieved of their duties, and the U.S. Marines from Okinawa would take over.

It wasn't elegant...but it worked.

Both sides were relieved, and a diplomatic junket had immediately been arranged to formalize the agreement.

Since both parties had dealt extensively with Sarah, it was at their insistence that her presence be included on the deployment. Sarah was delighted.

AJ, however, was less than thrilled.

"Sarah...you're six and a half months pregnant! You can't just go traipsing off to Japan!"

"AJ...I'm not 'traipsing' anywhere. This is work...it's my job to be there!"

To AJ, this was the last straw. His anger got the best of him.

"Well, let somebody else do the damn job for once! What is it with you?" he questioned angrily. "You need one more trip down 'memory lane' before you commit to this marriage? Is that it!"

"How can you say that! My affair with John Farrow was finished eight years before I even met you. AJ...this person you're turning into...I don't know you anymore!"

Sarah retreated to the bedroom, while AJ poured himself a drink and sat, fuming, on the living room sofa.

He hadn't meant that last barb, he thought guiltily. Sarah had never given him any reason not to trust her. He was being unfair. He just felt so frustrated...

Silently, he followed Sarah's path to the bedroom, and nudged open the door.

Sarah lay naked on a towel across the bed, trying with great difficulty to apply cocoa butter to the taut skin of her swollen abdomen...a guard against stretch marks.

AJ gave a weak smile.

"Can a stupid S.O.B. help you with that?" he asked, preparing for the worst.

Sarah paused, the ravages of her tear-streaked face evident even in the dim light of the bedroom.

"Oh, AJ. Why do we fight so much? I can't stand to have you angry with me...I just can't deal with this constant bickering. What's happened to us?"

"Darlin', maybe we need a little diplomatic deployment of our own." he smiled, removing his shirt from the slippery arena, and applying a large, warm glob of cocoa butter to her rounded body.

"Hey...Little Mac's kicking up a storm tonight. He must really like this stuff."

Tenderly, AJ raised her arms above her head in order to apply the slippery balm to the flesh along her sides. Then, removing the rest of his clothing, he stretched out beside her.

Sarah felt his gentle fingers begin to massage the soothing ointment into her skin, working their way across her breasts, sliding sensuously around her nipples.

"Ummm. His Mom likes that too." she sighed, grasping the brass headboard.

"We aim to please, Darlin'." he whispered huskily, his lips nuzzling hungrily against her throat.

"Oh, AJ...I don't know how you can even think of things like that. Just look at me. I'm HUGE!"

He paused. Did she really believe that?

Silently, he positioned his knee between her legs, pressing his hardened member against her hip.

"Darlin'...I couldn't make this up if I tried! I've never seen anyone as beautiful or as sensuous as you are at this moment. It's just...I'm just afraid of hurting you..."

AJ searched the deep, luminous pools of her eyes as he covered her lips with his, his tongue invading her senses, his hand slowly exploring the slick fullness of her body.

Sarah tightened her grasp on the brasswork above her, arching her back to meet the satiny slither of his hand as it stroked her abdomen.

"Oh, AJ...Do you have any idea what you're doing to me?" she breathed raggedly, his questing fingers slipping between her thighs, probing intimately within her.

"Yes, Ma'am," he murmured incomprehensibly, drawing her nipple deeply between his cocoa-buttered lips, "I'm making love to the only woman I'll ever want."

She closed her eyes, letting the warm seduction of his touch wash over her, her body responding, awakening as she tightened her hold on the headboard.

She heard a pounding in her ears, and realized it was the rapid beating of her own heart, racing out of control, crying for fulfillment.

"Oh, God...I need you inside of me." she pleaded, her thighs imprisoning his hand within her.

Deftly, AJ rolled onto his back, taking her quivering form with him, placing her astride his pulsating erection.

"Darlin', you'd better hurry," he rasped, pressing his hand against her buttocks. "I don't know how much more of this I can take..."

Quickly, she took him within her... her body remembering a rhythm as old as time, feeling him fill her over and over again.

Then, once more he insinuated his fingers into her moist curls, coaxing, massaging, pushing her to the brink of the known universe, lighting fires that only he could quench.

And then her release was upon her...her body sucking greedily at his rigid offering, her cries echoing into the night.

AJ felt the play of her muscles and the warm flood of her essence surrounding him, and gratefully allowed her to carry him through time and space to a place of bright, cataclysmic oneness, formed by the joining of their unconquerable souls.

Silently they lay, touched and touching, until they could once again regain the power of speech.

"Darlin'," he breathed into the heady aroma of her hair, "we're going to get through this...I'm going to try harder. We'll be okay...it's just a bump in the road..."

1200 HOURS
The Next Day
Sam Adams' Steak House
Washington, D.C.


"It's a boy." AJ announced proudly to the SECNAV. "We saw his little "turtle sign" a few weeks ago in one of those sonogram things. After all these years, I'm going to have a son!"

"Well, AJ...I've already got one, and I can tell you that it's overrated. Oh look...over there...there's your wife's C.O., General Morgan. Good man. Follows orders. I could use a few more like him." he said, casting AJ a sideways glance.

"Tom!...Tom, come over here. I want you to meet AJ Chegwidden. He's the JAG over in Falls Church."

"A pleasure to meet you, Sir." the general said, offering AJ his hand. "It hardly feels like we need an introduction. Sarah talks about you all the time. That's some wife you've got there!"

"I couldn't agree more, General. She's something, indeed. I just wish there was a little more of her to go around. This pace is really wearing her out."

The general gave AJ a puzzled glance. Was this some kind of encrypted message? How exactly was he to interpret this last comment?

"Oh...well...yes. She's a busy woman, all right. Oh! I see my luncheon appointment over there. Nice speaking with both of you. He nodded toward the two men, then strode across the room to meet his companion.

1800 HOURS
The Chegwidden Apartment
Marine Base Quantico


AJ almost fell over the suitcases piled by the door.

"What the...? Sarah...Sarah!" he called into the dimly lit interior of the room.

Then he saw her, curled into a ball in the large chair on the far side of the room. She'd been crying... for a long while if the puffiness around her eyes was any indication.

"Sarah...Darlin'. What is all this? What's going on?"

Wretchedly, she raised her eyes to his, forcing the works from her lips.

"I want you to leave, AJ. I want you to take your bags and go..."

He felt as though someone had just dealt him a lethal blow to the solar plexus.

"Sarah!" he mouthed, the word refusing to leave his mouth. "I don't understand, Darlin'. Can't we talk about this?"

Sarah began to sob, uncontrollable in her pain. "How could you do it, AJ? How could you make love to me...and tell me you were going to try...then force Tom Morgan to dump me from the junket to Japan! I trusted you!"

AJ was numb. Tom Morgan had removed her from the Japan deployment....at his request?

"Sarah, there's some mistake here...let me..."

"No!" she shuddered. She was beyond reason...beyond consolation. "No more, AJ. I can't bear anymore. I can't breathe. You're smothering me! I love you...I'll never love anyone else the way I do you...but I can't live with you."

AJ crossed the room and knelt beside her chair.

Sarah turned her face from him, her knees drawn up in fetal position, her arms wrapped tightly around a throw pillow.

"Darlin...please." he begged, feeling his life begin to grow dim, "Give me a chance to make this right."

"AJ," she whispered, her voice coming in ragged gasps, "if you love me, then don't put me through any more. Can't you see I'm crumbling to pieces? Help me...please. Just take your suitcases and go..."

Crushed and broken, AJ stood and walked haltingly toward the door. He could feel her eyes following the tortured movements of his body as he grasped the cold, leather handles of his bags...and then he was gone.

Sarah sat crying in the confines of her chair for most of the night, staring at the haunting emptiness of the room, afraid to face the loneliness of her empty bed... a tiny cowry shell filled with memories clutched within her trembling hand.

AJ was gone...and she was lost in the void...

0900 HOURS
Two Weeks Later
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia


There was a rap at the door.

"Enter." AJ responded listlessly.

Harm entered the room, clearly uncomfortable. "Uh...Sir. Could I speak with you on a personal matter?"

Frankly, AJ didn't care. He didn't care about anything anymore. "Proceed, Commander. What is it?"

"It's about Colonel...Chegwidden, Sir."

AJ raised his head and gave the younger man a look of disbelief. Was he actually going to give him advice!

"Sir," Harm continued, preserving their protective layer of protocol, "The Colonel has asked me to attend Lamaze classes with her over the next six weeks. I was wondering if the Admiral could advise me on the matter?"

Would the pain never end, AJ shouted to himself from within the interiors of his mind. It seemed to just keep on coming, piling one layer upon another.

AJ stared wordlessly at the younger man.

"And is this something you're comfortable with, Commander?"

Briefly, Harm dropped his gaze to the crushed remains of this man he so admired.

"I am, Sir...if you are."

"Then proceed, Commander."

He paused, then spoke again, his words costing him more than anyone could ever know. "Harm..."

"Yes, Sir?"

"Would you keep me in the loop?"

Harm tried to keep the pity from his voice...knowing it was the last thing the Admiral wanted.

"Aye aye, Sir. Consider it done." Then, quickly, Harm retreated...leaving AJ alone with his thoughts.

Drained, the admiral sat listening to the tick of the ship's clock on the wall, his eyes scanning the mountains of paperwork heaped haphazardly atop his desk.

Silently, he lowered his face into his cupped hands, his shoulders shaking uncontrollably. Then, pressing the button on his intercom, he called out: "Tiner, cancel all my appointments...I'm going home."

1800 HOURS - One Month Later
Lamaze Class
Naval Medical Clinic
Marine Base Quantico


Harm tossed the pillows into the back of his SUV while Mac, now 8 months pregnant, angled her cumbersome frame into the passenger seat for the return trip home.

"How did Matthew MacKenzie Chegwidden behave 'in there' tonight?"

"Little Mac was a dream, as usual."

"Little Mac? Well, if that's 'Little Mac'...does that make you B...Ow!"

Mac gave Harm a jab to the shoulder.

"When are you due again? You act like you're going to explode!" he said, a lethal grin on his face.

"Just cut me some slack, 'Fly Boy'. You'll have a pregnant wife someday...and I hope she makes you pay for that crack!"

They both grew silent..."wife" was a buzzword they both avoided.

Mac was right, he thought. Someday, he might be going through the same thing with HIS wife...but it wouldn't be Sarah. She was the admiral's wife...and the admiral should be here with her now...not him.

Harm knew what the morning would bring. AJ would call him into his office on some pretense or other, then "phase" into a discussion of Sarah and the baby.

"How did she look?" he'd ask. "Is she eating alright?" And finally...a dozen questions down the line, "Did she mention me?"

He didn't know how THEY could stand it...it was breaking HIS heart!

Physically, Mac seemed to be doing well. She was exercising moderately, cutting back on her overtime, and had even found four new food groups...two of which could actually be considered improvements.

Emotionally, she was a "basket case".

Concerned for her well being, Harm had taken to dropping by two or three times each week.

If she expected him, as she had tonight, her "supermom" facade was firmly in place. But other nights, when he wasn't expected, he inevitably found her sitting alone in a darkened apartment, her eyes swollen, her face pale and haggard.

"The admiral had Tiner typing up his request for terminal leave yesterday." he blurted out.

Mac inhaled sharply, her face frozen in disbelief.

"He's leaving the Navy...leaving JAG?" She was thunderstruck.

"Mac." he said gently, "He hasn't really been there for weeks. He's just been going through the motions. He comes in late, sits alone in his office for a few hours, then goes home again. He delegates everything...doesn't care about the results. Requesting terminal leave is just a formality...he's already gone."

Harm paused, uneasy with the words he was about to say. "Sarah, I don't know what went wrong between the two of you...and I don't want to know...but this can't be right. Sometimes loving means forgiving...even starting all over again...but when it's worth saving, you just don't give up...you can't.

He took a deep breath, then continued. "This baby needs a father, but more than that...you need AJ. Call him, Sarah. Don't let this thing go so far that neither of you can ever call it back. Whatever is wrong... work it out. He's worth it... you both are."

"Sarah?"

Pulling up in front of her apartment, he turned to face his friend.

She wasn't breathing. Her face had turned a bright crimson, and tears streamed in huge turbulent runnels down the pale ravages of her cheeks.

"Hey...hey...I'm sorry." he gasped, realizing the incredible wounds his words had inflicted upon her.

Wordlessly, he drew her into his arms until her sobs subsided and her breathing had returned to normal.

"If you're in this much pain, you have to do something about it." he said softly.

"Call him, Sarah...call him."

Harm walked Mac to her door, then, placing a kiss on her forehead he asked: "Are you going to be okay?"

Sarah nodded, wiping her nose on her shirtsleeve. "I never seem to have a hankie when I need one." she smiled weakly. "Some commanding officer!"

"I'm gonna go now." he said, touching her face. "Call me if you need anything, okay?"

"Sure," she smiled again. "Harm?"

He turned to face her. "Yeah?"

"I'll call him....thanks."

Then, just as Sarah was unlocking her door, a sharp pain knifed through her body.

"Harm!" she screamed as she dropped to her knees. "Help me!"

Afraid to move her, Harm rushed into her apartment and dialed 911. "Send an ambulance, fast!" he ordered, and after rattling off her address, he quickly returned to her side.

Her skin had gone from pale to deathly white. Blood had begun to pool beneath her, and her body shook uncontrollably.

"Sarah...can you talk to me? What's happening? Oh, God...Sarah?"

But Sarah was beyond hearing. Her eyes had closed, and she was breathing shallowly, her arms banded protectively around her abdomen.

"Harm..." she whispered, her lips pale and taut. "Call AJ."

1900 HOURS
Good Samaritan Hospital
Quantico, Virginia


"I'm going in there and see my wife!" he shouted. "You'd better stand aside, mister...or you're in for a world of grief!"

Convinced that he meant it, the young intern raised his hands and backed away.

AJ ran through the emergency room, searching from one curtain to the next. "Sarah!" he called..."Sarah?"

"AJ...I'm here."

Aj whipped open the second curtain on the left, his breath catching in his throat. She looked like a casualty of war.

Gently, he brushed the sweat-plastered hair from her forehead. "Sarah...Darlin'...it's going to be okay...it's gonna be okay."

"Somebody get a doctor in here!" he ordered. "I want to..."

Quickly, a nurse hurried into the enclosure, pushing a portable sonogram machine on a cart before her.

"Sir...you're going to have to step outside."

"Like hell I will!"

Sarah's hand reached out, covered with blood, and grasped his wrist. "AJ." she said, her voice faint and far away. "Stay with me...Don't let them hurt the baby."

AJ enclosed her small hand in his as the hospital staff began cutting away her clothing. There was blood everywhere...so much blood.

Then the doctor was beside her, running the sonogram across her distended abdomen, her face a mask of pain.

"Looks like we have a 'premature separation' here, Mrs. Chegwidden."

"What exactly is that, doctor?" AJ demanded.

"Well, it means that the placenta has partially separated from the uterine wall."

"Well...what are you going to do about it?" AJ barked.

The doctor took AJ over to the side of the enclosure. "Normally, at eight months, we'd deliver the baby by emergency c-section. As long as we get in quickly enough, we can be reasonably certain of success."

"Well. What are you waiting for then?"

"Mr. Chegwidden. Your wife has lost an enormous amount of blood. She's in no condition for surgery. We could lose her if we go in now. We may have to make a choice."

"NO!" Sarah shouted.

AJ paled.

"AJ!" Sarah screamed as another pain knifed through her trembling body. "Don't let them hurt the baby! Promise me! Promise me!"

Sarah turned her head and grasped the doctor's lab coat. "Doctor. I want you to save this baby no matter what." she rasped through clenched teeth.

"Relax, Mrs. Chegwidden...let us take care of everything. Trust me. We know what's best." he smiled condescendingly.

Mac's grip tightened. "Doctor." she said, mustering her strength. "Do you know what I do for a living?"

"No, Ma'am. I don't." he said, patting her hand.

"Well, I'm a lawyer, doctor, and if I find out that you deliberately made a decision to save me at the expense of my baby...I'll sue your ass into the NEXT millenium! Do you understand me now?"

"Mr. Chegwidden?" The doctor looked pleadingly at AJ for help.

"Sarah...do you know what your saying?" he whispered. "Darlin'...don't do this."

"AJ...help me." she pleaded. "Please...I need you to support me...back me up."

AJ could only stare, his world flying apart in all directions. Then, his voice raw, cracking with unbridled emotion, he turned to the doctor.

"You heard what the lady said... What are you waiting for?"

The doctor hesitated, unsure of what to say. "Are you sure of this? It's going to be risky...we're going to have to call all over the area for more units of her blood type...I'll need to have you sign a waiver."

"Just give me the damn thing and hurry up!" AJ growled, forcing himself into action. "How much blood do you need?"

"The way she's bleeding, I'd want to have a dozen units on hand at least, but..."

"You got a 'helo' pad in this place?"

"Yes, in the back parking lot."

"Well light it up...you've got 'incoming!"

Then, whipping out his cel phone he barked, "Get me Bethesda Naval Hospital!"

AJ shot off a few quick orders, then walked back to where Sarah lay, the nurses prepping her for surgery.

"Thank you, my love," she whispered as they wheeled her through the curtain and on toward the double doors at the end of the hall. "I love you, AJ."

AJ stood still, a pillar of stone in a whirling stream of humanity. Then, mustering the last of his reserves, he turned and strode out into the waiting room.

2300 HOURS
Good Samaritan Hospital
Quantico, Virginia


Matthew Mackenzie Chegwidden was born at 9:45 pm EST. Weighing in at 5 lbs-3 ounces, everyone had told AJ that his dark-eyed angel was the best looking baby in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, his temporary home while his doctor made sure there were no lasting effects of his traumatic birth.

AJ himself had only seen "Little Mac" as he was being wheeled out of surgery in his "isolette". Instead, he'd relied on Harm and Bud for frequent reports as he waited for news of his wife's condition in the surgical unit.

It had taken 15 minutes for the blood supplies to arrive at the Good Samaritan 'helo' pad. The staff was amazed. They'd asked if they could keep AJ's phone number on file for future use.

AJ had been grim. "Just save my wife and child," he'd said, his eyes gray and tortured, "...and you can do anything you want."

Mac had made it through surgery, but it had been "touch and go" at best. Now, more than an hour after the birth of their son, AJ sat, unapproachable, in the waiting area, staring at the door to the recovery room.

Finally, her doctor appeared and began to address him.

"Admiral," he began, now realizing AJ's rank. "I think she's out of the woods."

AJ's knees gave way, and he dropped heavily into the chair behind him, struggling futilely to maintain his composure.

"When can I see her?"

"Well, with most people, I'd ask them to wait until she came out of the anesthesia..." he paused, the look on AJ's face obliterating any such possibility, "...but under the circumstances, Sir, please, go right in. Let her rest, though...she's going to need a lot of that for a while."

AJ quickly crossed the room and began to push his way through the double doors.

"Sir?" the doctor called after him. "About what your wife said...you know...suing me and all. She really didn't mean it, did she?"

"Son...be grateful you won't have to find out."

AJ found Sarah lost in a maze of tubes and monitors, her eyes sunken and dark-rimmed. Her pallor, though evident, had improved considerably, and the many monitors attached to her body attested to her relative well being.

AJ held her hand in his, and there, in the solitude of the recovery room, he allowed his tears to flow unimpeded down the strong contours of his face.

"AJ?" Mac rasped, her voice small and weak in the mechanical clatter of the room.

"AJ...how 's the baby?" she asked, her hand tracing the wet pathways down his cheeks.

Gratefully, AJ pressed her hand to his lips. "He's fine, Darlin'. He's big, and strong, and he looks just like his mother. They're keeping him in ICU just for tonight...to be sure. You scared the hell out of that doctor!"

She smiled in relief. "Thank God." she whispered, her voice like a prayer. "Thank God."

"Darlin'? When you leave here...come home with me...please. We can make it work...I can change...I swear. Anything's better than what I've gone through the past six weeks."

"Oh, AJ...I was so wrong. I never should have asked you to leave. You had every right to ask for more of a commitment from me, to expect me to give you and 'Little Mac' my highest priority. It took almost losing everything for me to finally realize that. I need to change too. Forgive me, my love.

"Darlin', let's start over...a new beginning."

"You know," he began, "the first day I met you, in the Rose Garden at the White House, you touched my heart in a way that no one ever could. I never dared to dream that I'd be lucky enough to have you in my life."

Silently, she touched his hand as the tears flowed from her tired eyes.

"We were both lucky, AJ...more than lucky...it's a miracle."

Then Sarah closed her eyes and drifted off into a deep, restful sleep, a tiny smile playing at the corners of her pale lips.

AJ looked on, keeping watch over his beloved.

"Yes, Darlin" he whispered...you really are a miracle..."


THE END


Dedications:

To "N." -- AJ's biggest fan. This one's for you. I can't wait to read your first story.
And

To "J." -- Thanks for helping to keep my stories "readable".