Make It Through The Night

A songfic based on A1's Make It Through The Night; hints of shounen ai and shoujo ai, also hints of suicidal themes.

Lyrics in purple

~~~~~

The blonde haired girl stumbles along the dark alleyway, tripping on invisible bottles, her feet not really carrying her body well at all. It seems as though she is drunk, though it’s hard to tell without getting too close to her. She turns into the garden of an apartment, reaching into her black bag randomly, looking for keys, her body swaying in the gentle hushed light that comes from the porch. After a great search, she finds them, and with a little trouble, managed to enter the apartment, the door flying open, showing a dark stairwell, made of cold metal and white walls. She climbs the stairs, throwing her bag onto the floor, not bothering to ensure that her door is closed behind her. The mere click of the lock had been enough to certify that she would be pretty safe, should she care. Her coat drops to the floor, a statement of unbothered action, and she heads towards an oak cabinet, standing in the corner, the light switching on as her body moves around the room. The white carpet, white sofa and white bed all seem too clean to her, too white. It seems unusual that the cabinet is made of oak, as it sticks out, doesn’t blend with the white and silver tones of the room. Pulling out a bottle, she sits on the sofa, opening it as she does so, drinking the contents heavily, and drowning herself in the sweet liquor that is inside.

She's all alone
Making her way to a cold, empty home
Nobody waiting and no one to hold
She's holding her own

A groan emits the figure on the black double bed, and a long strand of brown hair gently flies as he moves, awakening slowly. With a few moans and several stretching movements, he is awake, ready to get up, ready to remember the night before. The night where he had been terrible. He can tell merely by a glance in the mirror. His eyes are a dark purple, his lips a faded red. Not the natural pink they were before; he must’ve been wearing make up again. Poking his tongue out, he suddenly remembers everything. The argument. The shouting. The promises of ending it all. Sighing, he brushes his teeth, brushes his hair, considering the best thing to do. He dresses after a shower; then climbs downstairs and grabs a jacket. Leaves his home, locks the door, checking every movement, allowing him the time to think his speech through.

He wakes up late
Stares at the mirror to find his own face
Picks out the pieces he hides from within
He doesn't fit in, do you?

Braid flying behind him, he runs along the road, bangs on the door of his lovers, ex-lovers, ordering them to open up, ordering them to allow him the chance to apologize. After a scuffle, a figure opens the door, leading him inside, leading him to the owner of the house. There is a short silence, then he begs, a crying beg, to allow him to make everything right again. His lover nods, not able to say much else, knowing that he means nothing of it, and will do it all again, cause as much pain as before, but willing to accept it because under all the pain he causes, there is true love, as there always will be. He jumps off the floor, hugs his lover, who holds him in their arms, strong arms, arms that could break him as well as make him.

I've made up my mind
Everything's fine
We're gonna make it through the night

In the apartment where the blond girl, with hair down to her waist, is lying, little has happened. From the state of being tipsy and not with it, comes a state of depression and drunkenness. She slowly clambers back over to her cupboard, grabs another bottle, downing it as soon as she can open it, before trying to reach for another, saying aloud, to convince herself, that’s she’s fine, she isn’t drunk, she is merely happy. She climbs back over to the sofa, and lies on it, managing to appear half on, half off of the white leather. For a few seconds, she allows her eyes to shut, the whiteness of the room causing her to feel nauseous.

I've made up my mind
Everything's fine
We're gonna make it through the night

Falling off of the sofa as she starts to become unconscious causes her eyes to fly open in shock, her hands to fly to protect herself, grab at her coffee table, pushing it as far away as possible in a minimal amount of time. As she does so a card falls to the floor, landing nearby. Her eyes lock onto it, and she blinks, in shock, surprise, and uncertainty. Groaning as she moves, she picks it up, reads it, and smiles. The Samaritans. There was always someone there; they prided themselves on it. But will they listen to her problem? Will they care? She is a nobody, after all. But to tell somebody else, somebody who could actually understand… it is a risk she’s willing to take, if only to let her feel better for a few seconds. The alcohol raging around her body gives her courage to move over to the phone, but it is her dignity that prevents her picking it up.

Opens her eyes
Looks around her
There's faith in disguise
There's no more secrets to shadow with lies

Words echo around her mind, words of hatred, anger, disgust, and she knows she must talk to somebody. She must. Picking up the telephone, her hand shaking as her fingers push the numbers from the card. After a few rings, she is relieved to hear a calm, caring voice. She waits, listening, so she knows when to talk. Her eyes fill as she hears the words that she has dreaded. Nobody is available. Nobody cares. Her heart drops to her feet, a chill attacks her body. She puts the phone down, before anger takes over her body and she throws it across the room, hitting a glass lamp. The sound echoes around her head, and her body shakes with un-cried sobs. The only thing left, the only thing she can do, is to cry.

She swallows her pride
Somebody care, hard to be seen when there's nobody there
It's getting closer, no need to pretend
Just let it in and believe

She gets up, refusing to be weak, refusing to cry. Her body moves her towards the bathroom, where she opens the white cupboard above her sink, blindly grabbing a bottle of medicine, opening it, staring at the beautiful white pills inside. White, oh so white. They sit in her pink and pale palm as if mocking her, and she shuts the cupboard, staring a final time at her reflection. The eyes, a cool pale blue once, are now strained, red and blue, the mouth, once a perfect red shape, is bitten too much to allow it to ever be pretty again. She shuts her eyes and brings her hand to her mouth, swallowing the pills, ending her pain.

I've made up my mind
Everything's fine
We're gonna make it through the night
I've made up my mind
Everything's fine
We're gonna make it through the night

She sighs as the pain she feels disappears, only to be replaced with a pain that she has never felt before. Her stomach clenches at the addition of such painkillers, of such acid that is not needed. Her legs buckle beneath her, she collapses, hitting her arm on the sink as she goes. Her mouth lets a yell of pain go before she feels herself hit the floor, almost becoming unconscious, but not enough to not feel the pain and the overwhelming urge to throw up.

Maybe today or maybe tomorrow
Guess the hands of fate
Been making you wait too long

Duo’s body huddles tightly into his lover’s arms, his lips eagerly search for Heero’s own lips. Heero smiles with gentle amusement at the fact that he’s there with him once again. The arguments they have always end with Duo apologizing, it’s the main reason he argues. Even when Heero starts the arguments, Duo apologizes.

I know the way to forget all your sorrow
Be the first in line to admit that you were wrong
Sometimes

A white ceiling, becoming whiter as the light shines through the window, indicating it is early morning, and she is still on the floor, her body moaning in agony at the pain, though she is still conscious. She feels as though the gods have forbidden her any pleasure, and way of escape, and carefully gets up, her body almost refusing her instructions. She blinks, walking through to her bed, where she finds another jar of pills, another jar that seems to shine in anticipation. Her agony causing her mind irrationalities, she opens the bottle, downing the pills, followed by a glass of stale milk beside her bed, the latter knocking her senses, causing her to vomit onto the floor, a colourful show of disarray against the perfect whiteness.

I've made up my mind
Everything's fine
We're gonna make it through the night
I've made up my mind
Everything's fine
We're gonna make it through the night

Heero groans as the telephone rings, refusing to answer it, refusing to move away from his lovers heat. The message passed onto him amuses him, and he awakens his love to repeat it to him. Dorothy had appeared at Relena’s house, exclaiming proclamations of love. Relena had told her the homosexuality was wrong, to which the blonde girl had replied that it was only due to Duo and Heero she believed that, her jealousy causing her to hate all those associated with same sexed partners.

Gonna make it through the night now baby
Gonna make it through the night now baby
Gonna make it through the night now baby
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Relena storms around her mansion, her dignified manner amusing the staff. The too had heard the conversation between the two girls, and knew everything the blonde girl, Dorothy, had said to be true. Relena only loves Heero, refuses to admit she will never receive a chance, as Duo is his lover. She paid for his house, paid for his butlers, but gets nothing in return. She doesn’t know what he does there, doesn’t know that only a few doors away, Dorothy lived in a small apartment, and would know the truth either way.

I've made up my mind
Everything's fine
We're gonna make it through the night

Doesn’t know, of course, that as she raged to his butler about Dorothy’s homosexuality, he and Duo were relaxing, that he and Duo were worn out from the moments of love they had shared a few moments before hand.

I've made up my mind
Everything's fine
We're gonna make it through the night

Doesn’t know, of course, that her few words had pushed Dorothy over the edge, caused her to commit suicide, in an apartment only a few houses away from her loves’ love nest.