|
2 Out Of 3 Ain’t Bad |
||
|
~~~~~~ |
||
“Relena? What’s wrong? We’ve hardly heard you speak at all tonight.” “Hm? Oh sorry. I’m a little tired, that’s all.” Relena bowed in apology, and smiled. If only that were it. She was indeed tired, but it was Dorothy that filled her mind and distracted her. Last night, before Relena had fallen into her normally deep slumber, she’d finally said the 3 words Relena had once longed to hear. Once. When she’d received them with a gentle smile, Dorothy had fallen asleep. “May I be excused?” Relena asked politely, and then left for her chamber. Dorothy was already there; her chilling smile frozen onto her pale face. She embraced Relena awkwardly. “Dorothy. Good. I wished to...” Relena paused in thought “...speak with you.” Relena informed her, pulling away from the other girl. Dorothy nodded and patted the seat next to her on the sofa. “Why of course Miss Relena.” The smile on her face was both unnerving and caring, and it made Relena wonder whether she knew what she had to say. Taking a seat, Relena took her hand, gently. “Dorothy, I ...,” Relena bit her lip, and shook her head, then smiled platonically. “Thank you.” If she could only tell Dorothy when she was angry. Dorothy knew her well enough, though, to know she hadn’t said what she’d wished to. Baby we can talk all night But that ain't getting us nowhere I told you everything I possibly can There's nothing left inside of here “Miss Relena, I told you I love you last night.” Dorothy murmured, gently pushing a strand of hair out of her eyes. She held her hand at Relena's face for a moment, as if studying her. “Why did you want to speak with me?" A slight pause as she let her fingers run down the side of Relena's face, searching her eyes. "Do you want to tell me you don’t love me anymore?” There was a vague attempt at her normal, cocky attitude, but Relena could see it was fake. Inside, she thought, Dorothy was breaking up. If she’d show it once every now and again...no. It was too late now. The frosty attitude had covered her like snow, and she knew she could no longer stay. For hers and Dorothy’s sake. She knew it would hurt her, but she had to tell her the truth. And maybe you can cry all night But that'll never change the way I feel The snow is really piling up outside I wish you wouldn't make me leave here “Dorothy... I... please Dorothy." Her voice faltered. "Let’s not talk. Let’s make use of the time we have together?” Relena gently kissed Dorothy on the lips, felt her trembling as she did so. She moved her hand from Dorothy's to her shoulder, to hold the shaken girl. “Relena, don’t.” Dorothy pushed her away. “Please, Relena, say it. Relena say you still love me. Say it!” Dorothy bit out harshly, and Relena sighed, knowing that she had to tell her the truth now, or hold it in forever. “Dorothy, I care about you a lot. You know I do – why else would I have slept with you?” Not made love to her, she thought. Slept with her. To have made love, both partners admit their feelings, and until last night, Dorothy had kept her lips shut. Relena paused, a tear crawling down her face as she realized in the end, no matter if she was angry or not, it would always hurt. “But you, you wouldn’t let me love you. You played mind games. Played me against Milliardo, wouldn’t show you care for me.” I poured it on and I poured it out I tried to show you just how much I care I'm tired of words and I'm too hoarse to shout But you've been cold to me so long I'm crying icicles instead of tears “Because I didn’t know how ... if I loved you. And I do.” Dorothy's voice was cold, desperately trying to remain smooth, despite the pain in her eyes. “Dorothy, I ...” Relena stood up, trying to hold back the fact it was hurting her tearing her up inside to say the words. She kissed her wantonly. “I need you.” She paused, and pulled her to the bed, teasingly. “And I want you...” Relena murmured, nimble fingers undoing Dorothy’s top. Dorothy couldn’t protest. Relena smiled, thought it was not a happy smile, and continued her gentle teasing. She had managed to tell Dorothy nothing, but managed to worry the femme fatale, as she’d renamed her. The three things they both required. Needing, wanting, loving. Only until then had Dorothy received all and given out two. Two out of three. And all I can do is keep on telling you I want you I need you But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you Now don't be sad 'Cause two out of three ain't bad And as Dorothy gently touched Relena’s body, it occurred to Relena that now she was giving 2 of the requirements and getting 3. Now don't be sad 'Cause two out of three ain't bad She wouldn’t throw her out. She’d never find a way of getting herself up then. She wasn’t the looking type. Someone would come to her. “Relena...” Dorothy murmured quietly, as she started to fall asleep, and Relena smiled. “Relena, I love you.” She repeated, eyes opening and burning into Relena, and Relena sighed. It was as though she expected her to say it back. So many times had she done the same. She was looking for something that just wasn’t there. You'll never find your gold on a sandy beach You'll never drill for oil on a city street I know you're looking for a ruby In a mountain of rocks But there ain't no Coupe de Ville hiding At the bottom of a Cracker Jack box “Relena, I love you.” Dorothy repeated, now wide awake, a harsh edge in her usually soft and supercilious voice. Relena bit her lip, feeling Dorothy climb away from her, and roughly pull her up. She stared at her, Dorothy's blue eyes cold and ice-like. “Dorothy, I don’t love you. I’m sorry. I used to, I think. I did. I just can’t any more. You pushed it too far, and I can’t love you any more. Do you understand? I’ll... I’ll leave, Dorothy. I’m sorry.” I can't lie I can't tell you that I'm something I'm not No matter how I try I'll never be able to give you something Something that I just haven't got ------ Dorothy sat, glaring at the glass on the bar, then at the girl standing nearby, staring at her inquisitively. “Look, Sunshine. I’m sorry. You’re not getting my love. She’s already taken it...” She slurred, and the girl smiled easily. “Oh? She? What happened to her?” Her voice was light, obviously interested. “She... Relena...” Dorothy glared at her cup, her mouth retelling the tale she’d relived since the day, 2 years before, when it had all collapsed. ------ “Dorothy, please, say something. Slap me, anything!” Relena stared at the blonde girl before her, confusion marring her pretty face. Dorothy sat, hunched up on the bed, not speaking. Relena got up, getting dressed, and gently kissed her on the cheek. Dorothy awoke from her sad shock and stared up at her. Tears slowly crawled across her cheeks, as a note of sheer desperation entered her voice. “Relena, don’t go! At least not tonight! Listen, just one more night? The storm’ll kill you.” Relena ignored Dorothy’s pleas; her heart breaking as she packed up a small pink bag, turned to go. “Remember me, Dorothy, and think of why this has to happen. I did need you. I want you. You’re a very sexy girl. But I just can’t love you. Do you understand?” ------ There's only one girl that I will ever love And that was so many years ago And though I know I'll never get her out of my heart She never loved me back, ooh I know I remember how she left me on a stormy night She kissed me and got out of our bed And though I pleaded and I begged her Not to walk out that door She packed her bags and turned right away “Relena.." Dorothy drunk the dregs of her vodka, muttering inanely. The girl glanced at her doubtfully. “Relena Peacecraft? As in the Relena Peacecraft?” “Yes. Don’t...her name... her voice...” Dorothy choked on a sob, the final memory of Relena, walking out, repeating how she needed her, playing in her mind. If only she had. ------ “Do you understand? I can’t love you. But I still need you, still want you. Don’t cry, Dorothy. You lasted up to now without needing me to be strong.” Dorothy cried harder, the lie stinging her eyes, Relena breaking her heart. It would never be enough to be needed and wanted, if there was no love left in that heart for her. “Relena...” And she kept on telling me She kept on telling me She kept on telling me I want you I need you But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you Now don't be sad 'Cause two out of three ain't bad Don't be sad 'Cause two out of three ain't bad “Relena, I love you.” Dorothy whispered, refusing to look at her leaving leading lady. Relena put her bag down, halting in the doorway, considering whether it was worth giving up everything, her happiness, for Dorothy. No. She really didn’t love her enough to do that. She might have done once. But not anymore. “I don’t. Sorry Dorothy.” And she kept on telling me She kept on telling me She kept on telling me I want you I need you But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you Now don't be sad 'Cause two out of three ain't bad Don't be sad 'Cause two out of three ain't bad “Stay...just to talk... can’t we remain friends at least?” Dorothy asked through her tears, eyes shadowed by streams of golden hair. Relena picked her bag up once more, shaking her head, despite knowing she could not see it. She shut the door quietly on her way out. ------ Dorothy glanced at the girl next to her, tears in her eyes, tears of pain, bitterness, anger and most of all, self-hatred. They were mirrored in the girls’ eyes, although the emotions were not as deeply grown. “I never spoke to her again. Talk is cheap. It gets you nowhere. I’m off...” Dorothy got up and left, money left on the table, an empty glass next to a wet napkin. The girl watched as she left, then turned her mind elsewhere. Dorothy's story left with the lonely stool. Tears flowing as fresh as they had when Relena had left. Baby we can talk all night But that ain't getting us nowhere |