Well my advice to you is 'Just Be Yourself'. Easier said than done, huh? Don't blame yourself. Most likely, you aren't comfortable around someone because there isn't any chemistry. It's probably your subconcious telling you something. I'm sure you've heard it before, but the right guy will come along and you will then see how easy it is to be comfortable around someone. As far as, the callbacks, and the 'nothing in common' remarks, don't let them get you down. I doubt it, if they were meant to be put-downs. If you re-examine the dates, with those guys, then you'll probably come to the same conclusion.
A small bit of advice on making your dates run smoother though, before going on a date, be comfortable with yourself first. This means don't wear something that you can barely zip up. If you don't like your hair in your face, then don't do it. Wear shoes that are easy to walk in. (Don't go buy a 3" pair of heels, when you don't even like to wear clogs). If you aren't used to having long nails or decorated nails, don't run out and have them done. Just stick with clear nail polish on your natural nails. Also, wear a perfume that you are used to wearing, or that soothes you.
If you want to eliminate those awkward silences, then be prepared to talk about something exciting. (It even helps to have an emergency topic, just in case, he's not much of a talker). Stick to your values and morals. If him wrapping his arm around your shoulders in the theater is uncomfortable for you, then let him know. If he doesn't pull out chairs or open doors, then mention it to him before the date is over. If he continously fails to do so, then you know he is not worth your time. If he brings up a topic you do not want to speak on, change the subject. If he continues to talk about it, then tell him you are uncomfortable with that subject. Don't let him sell you short, you know you are beautiful. Know that before the date starts and always tell yourself, 'He is lucky to be going out with me.' not vice versa.
All in all, be YOURSELF, not the models on the billboards, or the actresses in the movies or your mom or your best friend. Be EMILY.
Good luck with your next date!
Miss Gaby
I am really shy when it comes to dating. I get all tense and nervous when a guy even speaks to me. Even if I 'm not attracted to him. I know I look good, so it's not a low-self esteem thing.
I just wish I could be more comfortable, so they won't run away from me. They usually call me after a date and say, I am a really attractive girl, but we have nothing in common. Then, they follow up with, 'I am looking for someone more outgoing, outspoken or adventurous.' If they only knew, I AM all those things and more!! So, I need some advice. Ms. Gaby, HOW do I keep guys interested in me? HELP, please, I'm running out of years.
Sincerely,
Mistaken and Misunderstood,
Emily.
