| You Might Be a Furry if... --you stopped playing "Magic: The Gathering", but still kept your Purraj of Urborg and Mirri, Cat Warrior cards because you thought the two cat women were pretty yiffy --you thought Mirri had nice legs and a great set of breasts --you became sad to know that Mirri died at the end of Rath and Storm (oh, shit, I blew the ending...) --while eating dinner, you get food on your hands, and instead of using napkins, you lick yourself clean --you answer phone calls with some sort of animal sound (ex. "moo," "meow," "woof," etc.) --you ever when to an animal rights demonstration in your fursuit --you ever tried to write furry music based around something you drew or wrote (I keep trying, but it doesn't seem to work; one day I might just try to write Rathkanar -- The Musical) --you hope someday you'll run across a hologram Mirri, Cat Warrior card --you pretend you're an animal in online chatrooms ("Hi, I'm a jaguar.") --you think that The Secret of NIMH was the greatest movie ever made --you use yerf.com and thehamsterdance.com to cover up which furry page you're REALLY looking at --your best and most frequently-used pick-up line is "Nice shoes -- wanna yiff?" --you've gone so far as to search Napster or elsewhere online for an .mp3 of "Flying Dreams" --you just tried to look for a "Flying Dreams" .mp3 after reading the previous statement --you think Trent Reznor is a furry because he wants to "fuck you like an animal" --you sit for hours and think of what some of your favorite celebrities would be if they were furries (Britney Spears would be a sex animal, Eminem and Fred Durst would be a couple of cocks, all the boy bands would be a bunch of pussies, etc.) --someone sends you a death threat, and the first person you notify is an ASPCA representitive --your overnight luggage includes a litter box, cat toys, flea bath, scratching post...and no cat --you went out and bought the new Big Dumb Face album because the title of the album was Duke Lion Fights the Terror (the album sucked; Wes Borland, my ass) --...and you were disappointed NOT because the music sucked, but instead because Duke Lion was actually NOT a lion --your roommate ever heard you singing "Flying Dreams" in the shower --you spend more on Halloween than on Christmas --you've ever wondered if donations to the ASPCA are tax-deductable --when you go to visit someone, you sit on the floor because you know that they don't allow pets on the furniture --you require 14 hours of sleep and only come out at night --your fursuit has a built-in air conditioner --...which you installed yourself --...and that works better than the one in your house --your fursuit has somehow worked its way into your wardrobe rotation --you've ever tried to use the words "yiff" and/or "spooge" in Scrabble --you think pornography is a defilation of the human body, yet you masturbate like a drunken monkey each time you view your yiffy art portfolio --you feel naked when you don't wear your fursuit --your friends recognize you by your fursuit head and NOT your face --when taking commissions, one of the questions you ask is, "Two breasts or more?" --being called a "son of a bitch" is stating the obvious because your mother is a dog, wolf, fox, tigress, etc. --you've, at some point, used FAO Schwartz or Toys 'R' Us as a singles bar Back to Stories Back to Home |