I don't want to be the one
The one who's always left behind
Will there ever come day
When I can turn around and say...

It's alright now
It's alright now
Yeah...yeah...
It's alright now...

I don't want to be the one
The one who's always left undone
Losing more and more
And drained of everything falling down
I'll go see-through in the sun
Stay here...

The water was sparkling that night. The stars, the moon, everything seemed to contribute to its patronizing shine. Joey stared at it with contempt from her dock. Why wouldn't love work between her and Dawson?

Dawson had come to her house, it was nearly midnight. If she had an old grandfather clock, it would have rang twelve times by the time they were done. But her life wasn't like that. There was no clock, there was no money, and now there was no Dawson.

He had come to the conclusion that he didn't love her the way that he should. The way that she wanted. It had hurt her to an extent that he would never know. His words were cold, unfeeling, uncaring. "I don't love you, Joey," played over and over again in her head.

There were people she could talk to. But Andie seemed to be getting sick of Dawson and Joey's never-ending saga. Jen still made her feel slightly uncomfortable and inadequate. Every reassuring word Jen gave her sounded like, "You loser, I got to dump him."

And finally there was Pacey. But he was only being nice to her in the first place because of Dawson. She didn't want to be reminded of that fact at the moment. She didn't want his pity. Pity from someone equally as pitiful was like the blind leading the blind.

But Pacey seemed to have another idea. He wanted Joey, badly in fact. And now was his chance. It wasn't just that she was beautiful, a goddess by some standards. She was funny, smart, witty. And when she was around his heart raced, he felt dizzy. He was in love.

The grass was slick as he made his way towards her. Pacey was careful not to slip and make a fool of himself, although it would probably lift her spirits to see him fall. The dock was drier and less stressful to walk on, he didn't have to watch his every step.

He sat down next to her and was greeted by a cold, "Go away, Pacey." When he didn't she turned and glared at him. "Are you deaf? I said leave me alone."

"Actually, you said go away."

"I'm not in the mood for your lame attempt at humor."

"So you'd rather sit here by yourself, hating everyone?"

"That sounds right."

"Come on, Joey. I'm your friend, you can talk to me."

She shook her head. "You're only my friend because Dawson asked you to be."

"That's not true."

"I know it is," she replied confidently.

"At first, he asked me to watch out for you. But I really do care about you, Joey, no matter what you think."

There didn't seem to be a response. He sounded sincere. It was strange, he sounded a little more sincere than he should have.

This time he didn't put his arm around her shoulder, and hold her tightly. There were no tears for him to wipe away. All they could do was watch the gentle waves of the creek.

"Can I tell you something?" he asked, sounding frightened.

"I have a feeling that it doesn't matter if I say yes or no. You're going to tell me anyway."

She smirked and looked for a smile to appear. It didn't.

"This is serious."

"Fine, then tell me." He looked away for a minute. She followed his gaze. "I don't think you're going to find it in the creek."

"Find what?"

"Whatever you want to tell me."

He blushed. "I'm just stalling."

"I can see that."

"Okay," he said finally, rubbing his hands down his thighs, straightening the cargo pants he was wearing. "Joey, I have feelings for you. Strong ones and I was hoping you might feel the same way about me."

A flicker of a smile showed on Joey's face. He was relieved by that, but in seconds her expression hardened.

"You think that I would date a loser like you?"

"W-what?" Pacey sputtered. There had been hope. She had smiled at him! What changed in those few seconds?

"I can't believe you. How many times do you have to get shot down to understand that you'll never get in my pants, Pacey?!"

"Joey, I would never..."

"Yeah, right. All you do is think with your dick, Pacey. But I've got news for you. Not every girl drops her panties at the scent of testosterone."

"I didn't mean it that way, Joey!"

"Then what do you mean by strong feelings?" she asked, knowing full well what he had really meant.

"I mean, I think I love you."

She laughed. "And you thought I would love you back? That's the funniest thing I've ever heard. You're a loser, Pacey. I find you repulsive. The thought of us together makes me want to vomit."

When she was done, she stood up. Looking down on him, she laughed again. Walking with a bounce in her step, she went into her house feeling better than she had.

All Pacey could do was stare after her. After a few minutes, he got up and started home. His heart felt as if someone had shattered it with a sledgehammer. He had gone there to comfort her, and now he was the one who needed to be comforted.

It's alright now
It's alright now
Yeah...yeah...
It's alright now...

Waiting
Watching
Restoration for those who stay
Waving...
To those who walk away

I don't want to be the one

If I could only see it
If I could only feel it

Will there ever come a day?

It's alright now

The next morning, the weather was uncharacteristically warm for March and all the students had replaced their sweaters for T-shirts. For some reason, Pacey still felt cold and optioned for long sleeves.

Joey dressed appropriately, with a form fitting baby-tee and tight Levi's. It was enough to make Pacey wish he hadn't said a word, so he could stare at her in peace. Maybe unrequited love was better than rejection, he pondered.

Hoping she wouldn't notice him, he made his way carefully to his locker. Pacey feared he might turn to stone if she looked his way. It was embarrassing enough to be laughed at, but for her to rub it in would be worse and only prolong his suffering.

Dawson leaned against the locker next to Pacey's. "Hey, man."

Pacey didn't even look up when he mumbled hello. Grabbing his books and shoving them into his bag, he sighed and finally looked Dawson in the eye.

"Good to know someone else looks like hell," Dawson commented.

"Let me guess. She got to you, too," Pacey retorted.

"I got to her actually. Kept me up all night, not knowing whether I was right or wrong."

"What'd you do to her?"

"I told her I didn't love her."

"Funny. That's what she told me. Well, not in so many words."

"Why would she tell you that?"

"Because I, unlike you, do love her."

Dawson didn't react dramatically as Pacey had expected. Hell, he hadn't even planned on telling him. But he was too tired for secrets.

"Oh," was all he said.

They walked down the hall in silence. But they weren't headed for the classes. They were headed for the exit.

Once they were outside, Dawson muttered, "I guess we'll cut then."

"I can't face her today, man. It hurts too much."

"Fine with me."

It's alright now
Yeah...yeah...
It's alright now

It's alright now
Yeah...Yeah...Yeah

It's alright now
Yeah...Yeah...Yeah

It's alright now...

END OF PART 1

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Part 2

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