The Truth Hurts
By: Kat
Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Dawson's Creek. This is only for recreational purposes, people!
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Andie and Jack have BOTH moved to Providence. Joey got back together with Dawson after realizing the error of her ways. Andie dumps Pacey for a new boyfriend.
Author's Note: Thought's are between * *s.
***
Pacey pulled on a clean T-shirt and a pair of jeans. He was off to his first AA meeting. And he was more nervous than he had ever been.
How could he have let this happen in the first place? Everyone was disappointed in him, especially his father. Their relationship had been mending nicely and Pacey had to ruin it with drinking.
Good move, he thought to himself. Hopefully his father would be proud of him for taking the first step towards recovery.
Looking in the mirror one last time before he left he saw in his reflection the inspiration for wanting to get better. His appearance had taken a downward spiral, he looked like hell. But that wasn't the only reason, drinking didn't make him feel better. In fact it made him feel worse.
All the more reason to stop. Finally he headed out the door. To his dismay his father was sitting in the truck waiting for him.
Pacey pulled open the door. "Dad, I have to go to the meeting."
"I know. I'm coming with you." Pacey's mouth formed an O of surprise. "Are you coming or not, Pacey?" He nodded quickly and jumped in.
They pulled out of the driveway in an uncomfortable silence. They reached the high school quickly and Pacey hopped out and closed the door.
"Thanks for the ride, Dad."
"I'm coming to the meeting with you, Pacey. You didn't think I was just giving you a lift, did you?" Pacey laughed nervously.
"No, no, of course not. Just kidding," he replied a little too quickly. Pacey walked up the front steps ahead of his father. How embarrassing is this? My Dad is making sure I stay at the meeting!
He was even more shocked when they entered the room. Among the tired faces was one he recognized. Chris Wolf. He and Pacey locked eyes for a minute before Chris smiled and motioned to the empty seat next to him.
"Glad I'm not the only one here," he confided. Pacey nodded. Mr. Witter walked in and immediately took a seat as far away from his son as possible. Pacey's face fell.
So much for fatherly support, he thought bitterly. Then Mr. Witter did something unexpected, he stood in front of the wooden podium facing the group.
"Good morning, everyone." They all responded. "My name is John, and I'm an alcoholic." Pacey's jaw practically hit the floor.
***
By the end of the meeting Pacey was close to tears. This was his explanation for countless drunken pummelings, the neglect, the hatred. Why didn't it seem like enough?
As they walked out of the meeting in silence, Pacey's father had a broad smile on his face. He seemed pleased with himself for being so honest. But Pacey wasn't proud in any way of his father. He had been able to control his anger around Pacey's siblings, what was different about him?
"Did you get anything out of the meeting, Pacey?"
"Besides the fact that you're a cold-hearted, lying, son of a bitch? Oh yeah, drinking bad, coffee good."
He got into the car and slammed the door, strapping the seat belt on. He didn't even turn to see his father's shocked reaction. A moment later Chief Witter stepped in.
"What the ... what do you ... I don't," he sputtered angrily.
"You think that just because you've overcome some bump in the road that it makes up for everything! All this time it's been the drinking, huh? That is such a crock and you know it!"
"What the hell are you talking about?!"
"If drinking got in the way of all your relationships, how come you never ever laid a hand on Doug, or Mom, or the girls?! Why was it just me?!"
There didn't seem to be an answer. Chief Witter started the ignition and slowly pulled out of the parking lot. They didn't say anything for a few blocks. Once in a while, Pacey would steal a look at his father. His mouth was set in a tight line, his eyes even more squinting than usual.
"You just hated me for no reason then?"
"Of course not."
"Then what did I do?" Again, there was silence. "Just tell me if I did something or I said something, or if there is no reason."
"It was when you were young. Seven, probably. You wouldn't remember," he began in a low voice. "We, the whole family, were at the Policemen's Picnic. And you were just the star of the show. Everybody thought you were so charming and adorable, I was so proud to call you my son."
"Nice to know you weren't proud for superficial reasons."
"It was more than that, Pacey!" he shouted. Then in a calmer tone, "Just don't talk, let me finish."
"Be my guest."
"Anyway, you were charming all the officers out of their badges. You were parading around with an empty holster, shooting your sisters with your hands. And my boss at the time, pulled you aside and sat you on his knee. Everyone gathered around to see what cute thing you would say next. Then, he asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up. Do you know what you said?"
"No, can't say that I do."
"You said you wanted to be a fireman. You told everyone what a stupid job a police officer was. No one was laughing anymore, Pacey, because we all knew you weren't joking. It hurt to know that you hated my job. You hated what I was."
"Dad, I was only a kid, how could I have hated you?"
"You were a smart kid. You knew exactly what you were talking about."
Pacey was silent. He didn't have a smart-ass remark or a defensive explanation. How ever childish his father's reasoning was, it really must have stung for him to hold such a grudge for so long.
"Lately I've been seeing how wrong I was to think that you hated me. I guess I was more embarrassed at the time and the drinking kept me thinking that it was more that it was. You were starting to make me proud again Pacey."
"Why?"
"What do you mean, why?"
"In other words, I think I deserve a big-time ego booster right now."
Chief Witter snickered. "Okay, you're right. I owe you that much."
"So, out with it already."
"Last year, when Andie called me and told me those wonderful things that you did for her, I was proud. Shocked, but proud. It made me realize how much of your life I was missing. I saw that I never watched you grow up. One minute you were this childish nuisance and the next you were a man."
John Witter looked over at his son, who had suddenly become fascinated with his fingernails. If he wasn't mistaken, there were tears in Pacey's eyes. He reached out and turned Pacey's face.
"I'm sorry," he said, shocked by his own sincerity.
"So am I. I'm sorry I didn't come to you when I had a problem. I'm sorry I let it go this far."
Chief Witter pretended not to notice the tears running down Pacey's cheeks. "You never did tell me what was wrong."
"Andie dumped me. She met someone else," he said quietly. "None of my friends were there for me. They didn't care. I didn't know what else to do."
"I don't understand why you didn't..."
"Because it was Andie who made you proud of me! I thought you would be disappointed to find out she left me for someone else. That you would start treating me like you did before."
Mr. Witter hung his head. "I can't believe this is what our relationship has come down to. We don't communicate at all."
"Yeah, I know."
They pulled into the driveway and Mr. Witter pulled the keys out of the ignition. They sat in silence for a few minutes.
"We can change that, Pacey. From now on we just have to be honest with each other. How does that sound?"
"Okay, I'll start then." He shifted in his seat so he was facing his father. "I love, Dad."
His father smiled. "I love you, too, Pacey."
***
Joey was wiping down the counters at the Icehouse when Pacey came in.
"Hey, Joey."
She turned around and her face lit up. "Pacey!" She ran over to him and threw her arms around his waist. "I was so worried about you. I kept calling, no one was home."
"Yeah, my dad and I went to an AA meeting."
"Together?"
"Yeah, isn't that weird?"
She laughed. "Definitely weird."
Pacey sat down at a nearby table and motioned for Joey to join him. "That's what came by to talk to you about."
"Sounds serious."
"Joey, I can't be your boyfriend. I just don't think I should be getting into a relationship at this point in my life," he said softly. "I'm really sorry if I messed everything up. With Dawson and all."
Her smile turned into a scowl. "I can't believe you're doing this to me, Pacey! I ruined one of the best relationships of my life to be with you and now you're not ready?!"
"I'm sorry, Jo, really I am. But trust me, it's for the best. You wouldn't want me right now."
"You're absolutely right, Pacey. I don't want to see you or talk to you ever again!"
"Joey..."
"Get out, Pacey! Just leave."
He stood up and left without looking back.
END OF PART 8
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