sometimes i get the feeling
that i won't be on this planet
for very long
i really like it here
i'm quite attached to it
i hope i'm wrong

all i really wanna say
is you're the reason i wanna stay
i loved you before i met you
and i met you just in time
'cause there was nothing left

i sat here on my suitcase
in our empty new apartment
until the sun went down
then i walked back down the stairs
with all my bags and drove away
you must be freaking out

all i know is i've gotta be
where my heart says i oughta be
it often makes no sense
in fact,
i never understand these things i feel

don't change your plans for me
i won't move to LA
the leaves are falling back east
that's where i'm gonna stay

This was becoming way too much. He just didn't think he could take it anymore. The stares. The questions. Even Andie had asked what the hell was wrong.

What was he supposed to say? Sorry I've been such a downer lately, it seems teachers are very attracted to me. That would go over really well. No one would believe him even if he told the truth.

There was only one way to get help. Someone would have to see Mr. Bristol in the act. Someone with authority. Like his father.

The wheels began to turn in Pacey's mind. He knew exactly what he would do. Three weeks of suffering was just too long. This sicko belonged behind bars.

Suddenly, a terrible idea came to Pacey. What if he wasn't the only one? That would be awful. He had to put a stop to it now.

Time to pull some strings, he thought happily. He stared at his face in the mirror. Something he hadn't seen in a long time had appeared. A smile.

you may have made me smile again
in fact, i might be sore from it
it's been a while
i know we've been together many times before
i'll see you on the other side

but don't change your plans for me
i won't move to LA
the leaves are falling back east
that's where i'm gonna stay

"Dad, would you just come? He said it's urgent that he speaks with you." Mr. Witter sighed. Pacey pouted visibly, it always seemed to wear his father down.

"Oh, fine, Pacey. Just don't look at me like that!" Pacey grinned and Mr. Witter punched playfully. "What time again?"

"Around six."

"Okay, six it is."

all i really wanna say
is you're the reason i wanna stay
but destiny is calling and won't hold
and when my time is up i'm outta here

He stopped suddenly. Thank god his father was a punctual man. Everything was starting to hurt. Tears sprang to his eyes and a muffled sob came from behind the duct tape.

Yes! His father had heard that. It was all over now. He couldn't turn his head to see what was happening, but he heard banging and knew the door would be coming down.

After a few moments Pacey felt a rush of air as the door flew open. Tears streamed down the chalkboard as he felt the tape being removed from his wrists. He pulled off the strip over his mouth.

"Dad!" His father embraced him briefly and then proceeded to cuff Mr. Bristol. Pacey slid down the wall and pulled his knees to his chest.

"What the hell do you think you're doing to my son?!" No response. Mr. Bristol's face had turned a ghostly white. He knew he was caught. "I said, what the fuck are you doing to my son?!"

Silence. Pacey sobbed. His father shoved Mr. Bristol against the wall near the door. He squatted next to Pacey and gently stroked his hair.

"It's going to be okay, Pacey. You're going to be just fine." Pacey nodded, but continued to cry.

***

"How long has this been going on?" the doctor asked Pacey. "Nobody develops bruises that quickly." Mr. Witter stared at him expectantly. Should he lie?

He closed his eyes. No more lying. "Three weeks," he croaked and burst into tears. This was all his fault.

"Three weeks?!" Mr. Witter nearly shouted. "Three weeks and you didn't tell me?!"

"I didn't think you would believe me!" He covered his face with his hands. His father wrapped his arms around Pacey. "I didn't think you would believe me," he murmured. It all hurt so much.

"I would have." Pacey uncovered his face and looked his father in the eyes. "I would have, Pacey. I love you and I trust you."

"Really?"

"Yes."

all i know is i gotta be
where my heart says i oughta be
it often makes no sense, in fact
i never understand these things,
i feel

He crept silently into Pacey's bedroom and sat on the floor next to his bed. How could Pacey have endured such torture for so long and not tell anyone?

The only thing he knew was this would have to be kept quiet. If anything got out Pacey's life would be positively ruined. And he would never let anyone or anything hurt his son again. As long as he could help it, at least.

He looked so peaceful. Sleep had become his escape in the last two weeks. Every spare moment was spent in his room, tucked safely beneath his blanket. Dead to the world.

John Witter only wished that time would be spent with him instead of being alone in his room. He was still fuming from the fact that Pacey didn't feel he could be trusted with this terrible secret. But he would get over it. His responsibility now was to make sure Pacey was okay.

A moan jolted him from his thoughts. "No. Please, don't. Stop it please." Mr. Witter felt tears in his eyes. Maybe sleep wasn't as safe as he had thought.

"No! Stop!" Pacey began thrashing around and crying. Mr. Witter shook him gently. "No! Don't touch me!"

"Pacey, wake up."

"Stop touching me!" He shook him again, harder this time. "Stop it!" Pacey screamed. Finally his eyes began to flutter open. But surprisingly he slammed his fist right into his father's stomach.

Mr. Witter doubled over in pain. "It's just me, Pacey." Pacey was panting and crying. He joined his father on the floor.

"Dad, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to." His dad coughed and tried to smile. He took Pacey's hand.

"It's okay. I know." Pacey's lower lip trembled. "It's not your fault, Pacey." He sobbed loudly and Mr. Witter took him into his arms.

"It was so real." Mr. Witter rubbed his back and neck.

"I know, but you're okay now. You're okay." Pacey buried his face in his father's shoulder and attempted to control the hysterical sobs that were racking his body. He couldn't.

sometimes i get the feeling
that i won't be on this planet
for very long
i really like it here
i'm quite attached to it
i hope i'm wrong

Another week went by and Pacey hadn't gotten any better. Luckily, Mr. Witter had managed to keep newspapers and reporters from airing any information about what had happened. Capeside only knew that one of its residents had been raped.

Enough students had been absent at the same time and that had helped keep the town guessing. Mr. Witter had also told Pacey's friends that he had mono and wouldn't be in school for a while. So far that plan had worked.

But Mr. Witter wasn't really concerned with what people thought. And neither was the rest of his family. His three daughters had come home to help out and show their support. But it really hadn't done any good.

Pacey would only talk to his father and refused to leave his room. Everyone understood. He was embarrassed and ashamed for something that was in no way his fault. How would he feel when a trial started? When he would have to testify? Mr. Witter didn't think he would be able to handle that.

The phone rang shrilly and he waited for the caller ID to identify who it was. Leery, Mitch and Gail. He picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Hi, this is Dawson. Is Pacey there?"

"Hi, Dawson. I'll see if he's awake." He jogged up the stairs and knocked on Pacey's door softly. "Pacey, Dawson's on the phone."

"Okay, Dad. I got it. Hi, Dawson." Pacey cradled the phone on his shoulder and reached for a tissue.

"Hi, Pace. How are you feeling?"

"Fine."

"Good. When do you think you'll be back in school?"

"I don't know. Probably not for a week or two."

"Lucky. Listen, I have to ask you a question."

"Shoot."

"I know your Dad doesn't usually tell you all that police stuff, but do you know who it was?"

Pacey's heart skipped a beat. "What are you talking about?"

"You know, the person who was raped. Do you know who it is?"

"No."

"Damn. This really is quite a mystery. The whole school can't stop talking about it, but no one actually has any answers. It's driving me nuts!"

"Well, I certainly don't have any. I gotta go, D. I'm not feeling very well. I think I'm just going to take a nap."

"Okay, I'll talk to you later." Pacey tried to control himself, but a sob accidentally escaped. "Are you all right, Pace?"

"I'm fine." He knew he didn't sound convincing at all. "I'm just, uh, tired."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Bye, D."

"Bye." Pacey slammed down the phone and began to cry. If anyone found out it was him his life would be over.

"What am I going to do?"

all i know is i've gotta be
where my heart says i oughta be
it often makes no sense, in fact
i never understand these things,
i feel

i love you, goodbye
i love you, goodbye...

Dawson hoped it wasn't too late. He checked his watch. Only nine. Why was it so dark then? He shrugged. Pacey wouldn't be asleep yet.

He approached the Witter household. It was an ancient house with three floors. When he was younger, he and Joey were convinced that it was haunted.

Mr. Witter answered the door almost immediately after he had knocked. Dawson noticed the dark circles under his eyes. He looked so tired. Maybe the rape case was getting to him.

"Hi, Dawson. How are you? Come on in." Dawson stepped inside and shrugged off his coat.

"I'm good. And you?"

"Fine, just fine." Same response Pacey had given him. They were both bad liars. "Pacey's upstairs. I'm not sure if he's awake or not. You can go up and check, though."

"Great. Thanks." He tried not to run, but he was very eager to see Pacey. It had been almost a month.

His door was unlocked so Dawson went right in. Why was it so dark?

Like it? Hate it? Think I'm a sicko? Feedback at [email protected]

Part 2

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