Can't Take That Away


Author: Kat
Rating : R for strong language
Summary: Pacey's mysterious suicide causes his friends to look into a past they would rather forget.
Classification: Dawson's Creek Other, this is not a romance.
Distribution: Anywhere, just let me know.
Author's Note: PACEY IS NOT DEAD!!! THAT WAS A DREAM MR. WITTER HAD!!!
Disclaimer: I do not own Dawson's Creek or Can't Take That Away(Mariah's Theme) by Mariah Carey. Special Thanks: Thanks to Maureen, my brand spankin' new beta-reader! This part is for her.

***



"I would like to remind everyone that the Junior prom will be held this Saturday night. The Senior prom will be held next Saturday. I hope everyone has purchased their bids and will be attending," Principal Green announced over the loudspeaker. "Have a good afternoon."

Students poured out of the classrooms, filling the halls with noise, laughter, shouting. There were brightly colored flyers everywhere. Each one had a cartoon couple dancing, a rose border, and bright letters. "Come to the Capeside Senior/Junior Proms!"

Pacey ripped one down. "How cheap. They can't even make two separate flyers for each dance."

Dawson took the pink paper from Pacey. "Just because you don't want to go, doesn't mean you have to spoil it for everyone."

"Grow up, I'm not ruining anything."

Sighing heavily and shaking his head, Dawson walked away towards his locker. He knew Pacey was just upset that he wouldn't be going, so he let the comments slide as often as he could.

"What do you mean you can't go?!" a high voice shouted. "It's one week before the dance and you're ditching me?!"

Pacey and Dawson looked at each other. "Jen," they said in unison. Her date had been shaky from the beginning and they both knew it was only a matter of time before he flaked out.

"I'm sorry, I have other plans," Adam said, becoming quite nervous. Jen was so upset she looked bordering on violent. "Besides, you can find another date. You're gorgeous, who wouldn't want to go with you?"

"Don't even try to make up for this by flattering me. Fine, don't go. But you still owe me a hundred bucks."

"I'm not even going!"

"Do you think I care?"

"Okay, okay. I'll give it to you tomorrow."

"You better."

Making their way tentatively towards a fuming Jen, Pacey and Dawson glared at Adam while he passed. Dawson put an arm around Jen.

"We'll find you a date, don't worry." Suddenly the wheels began to turn in his head. "Wait a minute! I know someone who's good-looking, charming, funny, and completely available."

Jen smiled. "And where is this Romeo?"

"Pacey," he said simply.

"Are you out of your mind?!" Pacey shouted. "I'm not going!"

Jen pouted. "Please? I already have my new dress and my new shoes, a hair appointment and a manicure appointment. All I need is an escort," she pleaded.

"No," he repeated. "You really like making me miserable, don't you Dawson?"

"What are talking about? Jen needs a date, you're free. Can't you just get over yourself?"

"Get over myself?" Pacey repeated, his voice raising slightly. "You want me to go a dance and just let myself be humiliated?"

"No one cares anymore, Pacey! You really need to move on. It happened months ago," Dawson argued. People were beginning to stare, but he didn't notice.

Jen looked frantically around for Joey. Only she could put a fight like this to a halt. "Guys, come on. Let's just get out of here, okay? If Pacey doesn't want to go that's fine. I'll find another date."

"No, Jen! Pacey's just being selfish. Grow up, Pace. Move on. Go to the dance with Jen!"

Pacey looked down to see that his hands were shaking. Then he scanned the hall. At least thirty students were staring.

"I'm sorry, Jen," he apologized, his voice breaking, "I can't go." He walked slowly away from his friends, completely embarrassed by the way his body was shaking. Why didn't Dawson understand that a dance would be like a free-for-all for everyone who couldn't wait to torture him?

***

"He's just so goddamn stubborn," Dawson complained to Joey. "He saw how upset Jen was. Why can't he just let it go?"

Joey laughed at Dawson's reasoning. "Let it go, Dawson? It's not like he missed a free throw during gym. He was raped. That's a little harder to forget."

"But it's been so long!" Dawson whined.

"If he thinks he needs more time, then he needs more time. You just need to be supportive."

"I'm sick of being supportive. That's all I do. Do you know how many times I get phone calls at three in the morning with my best friend on the other end hysterical crying? At least twice a week."

"And by the powers of deductive reasoning that tells us..." She waited for Dawson to finish the sentence. "That he isn't over it. That he's messed up. That he needs help. Any one of those would be the correct answer."

"I think he's just afraid."

"Of?"

"His parents not caring anymore. He thinks that if he gets better they won't take care of him anymore. They won't treat him like a baby anymore."

"Then why would he act like that in front of you?"

"Sympathy. Pity. He wants us to treat him like a baby, too. Well, I'm sick of being so damn nice to him and getting nothing in return. He spends all day whining and complaining and expects me to just take it and ask for more."

Joey stood up and grabbed her coat. "That is the most disgusting thing I've ever heard leave your mouth. Remember a certain sophomore year when you were pining for Jen. Who listened when I didn't? Pacey. And then when you were pining for me? Pacey was there for you. When your parents started to split up and me and Jen weren't around? Pacey again," she said angrily. "You're the one that needs to get over himself, Dawson."

***

"Hello, is Pacey there?"

"Hold on, I'll see if he's here," Doug said. He covered the mouthpiece with his hand and shouted up the stairs, "Pacey! Phone!"

"I got it!" was the reply. Doug listened for Pacey to pick up and then replaced the phone on its receiver.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Pace, it's Jen."

Pacey made a face but tried to sound cheerful. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to apologize about this afternoon. I'm just really stressed out about the dance, I didn't mean to put any pressure on you to go."

"It's not your fault. It was Dawson's stupid idea."

"Actually, I don't think it's a stupid idea at all. We'll have fun, Pacey, I promise. You have to start interacting socially sometime. Why not start right now?"

"How many times do I have to explain this? I don't want to go!" Pacey's bedroom door swung open and his father peeked his head in.

"Go to what?" he asked.

"Do you mind? I'm on the phone."

"Go to what?" his father repeated.

"The stupid prom."

"Give me the phone."

"No."

Mr. Witter stepped forward and yanked the phone out of Pacey's hand. Putting it up to his ear, he asked who was speaking.

"It's Jen, Jen Lindley."

"Jen, Pacey will go to the prom with you. We'll pick you up on Saturday."

"Thanks!" she said quickly before hanging up.

Pacey stared at his father in horror. "How could you do that?!" he screamed. "I said I didn't want to go, why does nobody listen to me?!"

"I'm doing this for your own good, Pacey. We'll go shopping tomorrow."

"But..." Pacey protested as his father left the room. "...I don't want to go."

***

Bessie, Gail, Mitch, and Dawson were all gathered around the Leery stairwell, waiting for Joey to come down. She was finishing up her makeup for the prom.

When she did finally descend the steps, everyone suddenly became short of breath. She looked ravishing in a silver gown that pooled around her feet and clung to her slim hips. The neckline dipped low and the straps were studded with sparkles.

Dawson held out his hand as she reached the last few steps. She took it and squeezed it tightly.

"You look beautiful," he whispered. She smiled and Dawson thought he might float away. This night was going to be perfect.

***

"I look ridiculous," Pacey said. "I'm not going." Before he could whirl around and run back upstairs to lock himself in his room, his brother's hand clamped down firmly on his shoulder.

"You're going and you're going to have a good time," he said, sounding threatening.

"Relax, Pacey," his mother said soothingly. "Everything will be fine. I'm sure you and Jen will have a fabulous time."

"Yeah right," Pacey muttered.

Mr. Witter came back into the room with a throwaway camera. "Stand up straight, Pacey," he ordered. "And smile."

"No! No pictures!" Pacey exclaimed, covering his face with his hands. "I look horrible."

"Doug laughed, pulling Pacey's hands away. "You sound like a little girl. Be a man and smile for the camera."

Pacey managed a weak smile as the camera flashed. "Can we just go get her now?"

"Stop whining and we will," Mr. Witter snapped.

***

Jen tried not to laugh when Pacey and his family shuffled into Grams' kitchen. Pacey was hunched over and staring at the floor, looking miserable. Miserable, but handsome, she thought.

Pacey was decked out in a navy-blue suit jacket and pants, a navy-blue shirt, and a navy blue tie. She watched as he kept tugging on the ends of the sleeves nervously. Jen suddenly felt bad for making him go, he looked terrified.

"Well, now that we've gotten pictures out of the way, I'm sure these two are eager to get to the dance," Grams said happily.

Pacey mumbled something Jen couldn't hear as he made his way towards the car. They sat next to each other in the back of Grams' car, not speaking. Obviously Pacey was slightly angry with her, but she didn't really care. She was going and that was all that mattered.

The music could be heard thumping from the gym even outside the building. Jen could feel a knot of anticipation forming in her stomach. In New York, all of her friends had thought dances were dumb and boring, mainly because no one had asked them.

Now she was finally at the prom and not even Pacey's perpetual bad mood could ruin her good time. She tugged gently on his hand and pulled him inside the building, waving good-bye to Grams and the Witters.

"Relax, will you?" she said irritably. Pacey was squeezing her hand so tightly she thought her fingers were turning purple.

"Sorry," he mumbled, letting go of her hand.

There were silver streamers suspended from the gym ceiling. Balloons covered the floor and decorated tables. The theme was "A Night Out Under the Stars." To Pacey it felt more like, "A Night In Hell."

"There's Dawson and Joey!" Jen squealed, dragging Pacey with her to say hello. "Joey, you look amazing!"

"Thanks, so do you! I love the dress." Dawson took in Jen's short, formfitting, strapless black gown.

"Yeah, it looks great." He opened his mouth to say something to Pacey, who was scowling, but chose not to. He was still angry with him and knew Pacey would give him no compliment in return.

"Come on, Dawson. Let's dance," Joey whispered. "See you two later!"

"Want to dance, Pace?"

"No thanks."

"Then I'll go find someone who will." She sauntered off in search of someone without a date. Pacey shrugged and took a seat at one of the empty tables.

"Hey, Pacey!" a voice cried. Pacey turned around to see who it was and groaned. "How ya been, buddy?" Grant Bodine asked. "I didn't think you had the balls to show your face here."

"Grant, just leave me alone. I'm not bothering you."

"Actually, your ugly face is annoying me."

Shaking his head, Pacey stood and walked towards Jen, who was still frantically searching for someone to dance with. He took her arm and led her out onto the floor.

"What's going on? Did someone spike your drink?"

"I just changed my mind, that's all."

They can say
Anything they want to say
Try to bring me down
But I will not allow
Anyone to succeed
Hanging clouds over me

And they can try
Hard to make me feel
That I don't matter at all
But I refuse to falter
In what I believe
Or lose faith in my dreams

'Cause there's a light in me
That shines brightly
They can try
But they can't take that away from me
From me...

Pacey seemed to go into some kind of trance as Jen attempted small talk. He didn't even pretend to pay attention. Jen watched as he closed his eyes. She took his lead and rested her head on his shoulder.

They swayed in time with the music, but both were on another planet. For such a long time, Pacey realized, he let what people thought and what people said govern his life. He might have missed out on one of the most important events of his life if he always focused on everything that went wrong.

They can do
Anything they want to you
If you let them in
But they won't ever win
If you cling to your pride
And just push them aside

See I have learned
There's an inner peace I own
Something in my soul
That they cannot possess
So I won't be afraid
And the darkness will fade

'Cause there's a light in me
That shines brightly
They can try
But they can't take that away from me

Joey and Dawson tried to casually make their way over to Pacey and Jen without being obvious. They were both stunned that the pair was actually dancing.

Joey bumped Jen gently to let her know that they were there. Jen opened her eyes and gave a little wave. Dawson mouthed, "Is he crying?"

"What?" Jen whispered back, looking up at Pacey. "I think so."

They can say
Anything they want to say
Try to break me down
But I won't face the ground
I will rise steadily
Sailing out of their reach

They do try
Hard to make me feel
That I don't matter at all
But I refuse to falter
In what I believe
Or lose faith in my dreams

'Cause there's a light in me
That shines brightly
They can try
But they can't take that away from me
From me...

The song ended and Pacey tried quickly to compose himself. After a few moments of trying, he retreated to the boys' bathroom. Dawson, Joey, and Jen were following right behind him.

Dawson went in first, reappearing a minute later to give Joey and Jen the all-clear.

"He's in the last stall," Dawson whispered.

"I can kinda hear you," Pacey said thickly.

Jen walked over to the stall. "Pacey, what's wrong? Do you want to go home?"

"No, I'm okay."

"Then why are you crying?" Dawson asked.

"Would you believe it's because I'm happy?"


END OF PART 10

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